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SnokenKeekaGuard@lemmy.dbzer0.com to Lemmy Shitpost@lemmy.world ·
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1 year ago

doing my best google impression Did you mean: turn it up?

lemmy.dbzer0.com

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doing my best google impression Did you mean: turn it up?

lemmy.dbzer0.com

SnokenKeekaGuard@lemmy.dbzer0.com to Lemmy Shitpost@lemmy.world ·
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1 year ago
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  • aeronmelon@lemmy.world
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    1 year ago

    I met a blind guy who wanted to experience a concert, so I took him to hear Coldplay. He said, “Now I wish I was also deaf.”

    • henfredemars@infosec.pub
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      1 year ago

      Go to enough concerts without hearing protection and he will get his wish.

      • Blackmist@feddit.uk
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        1 year ago

        I live about 10km from a big festival site. We could hear Metallica playing the other year.

        • Ilovethebomb@lemm.ee
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          1 year ago

          Quantity over quality, sounds like Metallica.

      • Got_Bent@lemmy.world
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        1 year ago

        I’ve been to hundreds and do have the tinnitus but it doesn’t much bother me at all. I rarely go anymore because of unrelated reasons, but it was all worth it.

        • papalonian@lemmy.world
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          I worry because I hear it gets progressively worse even after you’ve stopped exposing yourself to extreme volumes. I raw-dogged two or three shows that were way too loud to be at without protection and that was enough for one ear to have significantly worse hearing than the other, that’s what finally made me start using those musician earplugs. But apparently I can expect the ringing and loss of hearing to continue getting worse anyways…

          • Danquebec@sh.itjust.works
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            Good to know. And that’s worrying.

    • systemglitch@lemmy.world
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      1 year ago

      I can see and I’d be pissed if that was the concert you took me to without forewarning.

  • Apytele@sh.itjust.works
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    10 months ago

    deleted by creator

    • MeatPilot@lemmy.world
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      1 year ago

      My gran grans favorite “get up and go” songs.

      • My Neck, My Back (Lick It)
      • Magic Stick
      • Put It In Your Mouth
      • Look Back At Me
      • Deepthroat
      • Pussy Monster
      • Anaconda
      • IndiBrony@lemmy.world
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        1 year ago

        Is your gran single?

        • MeatPilot@lemmy.world
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          1 year ago

          Pop pop did pass away. Heart attack in bed.

          • This is fine🔥🐶☕🔥@lemmy.world
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            1 year ago

            Is he the reason why ‘when you nut but she still keeps sucking’ meme exists?

      • Apytele@sh.itjust.works
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        10 months ago

        deleted by creator

        • WhiskyTangoFoxtrot@lemmy.world
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          1 year ago

          I mean, if your husband is dead, it’s kind of assumed that he can’t get pregnant.

          • Willy@sh.itjust.works
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            1 year ago

            You joke, but do you have any idea how hard I’ve tried?

    • SpaceNoodle@lemmy.world
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      1 year ago

      My wife still struggles with language and memory after her strokes from several years back, but every now and then she’ll break into song with a perfect tune from even as far back as her childhood.

      • NιƙƙιDιɱҽʂ@lemmy.world
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        1 year ago

        Please stop, that’s beautiful. Best of luck to you and your wife ❤️🥺

      • GTG3000@programming.dev
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        “speak-singing” is a thing some people do to work around language issues, apparently it’s an entirely different part of the brain.

    • GluWu@lemm.ee
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      I want to get a tatoo that says “Things to play if I have brain damage” or something, then put bands and genres that hit core memories.

      • ProvableGecko@lemmy.world
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        1 year ago

        Get a qr code to a Spotify playlist. This way you won’t have to get laser removal when you want to change a song

        • NιƙƙιDιɱҽʂ@lemmy.world
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          Better yet, get a qr code to your own domain that forwards to your spotify playlist so you can change the entire qr code to something else in the future should you want to

          Edit: Hell, I might actually do this lol.

          • trolololol@lemmy.world
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            Who’s going to maintain the domain while you’re in coma? Also how do you know the price for playlists 5 years from now, it could be more expensive than a car!

            • NιƙƙιDιɱҽʂ@lemmy.world
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              1 year ago

              🤨

        • NateSwift@lemmy.dbzer0.com
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          Better yet just encode the list of songs in the qr code. No need to depend on SaaS

      • JoShmoe@ani.social
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        1 year ago

        This is my new objective today.

    • grrgyle@slrpnk.net
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      So that’s gonna be whirling-in-rags (evening) and Mute City (Kyaku remix), respectively, for me.

  • BonesOfTheMoon@lemmy.world
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    My spouse was admitted to hospital for two weeks and had several geriatric roommates. The nurse asked one of them if she knew where she was, and she yelled “IN SATAN’S ASSHOLE”.

    • Noodle07@lemmy.world
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      Oh so Texas?

      • chiliedogg@lemmy.world
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        That actually isn’t even much of a stretch for Texas names. I live near the Devil’s Backbone.

        • jubilationtcornpone@sh.itjust.works
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          So you live just north of Satan’s asshole. Got it.

        • Slovene@feddit.nl
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          You live near an awesome horror movie? https://m.imdb.com/title/tt0256009/?ref_=nv_sr_srsg_1_tt_7_nm_1_in_0_q_devils%2520backb

          • chiliedogg@lemmy.world
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            I’ll have to check it out!

            I’m actually involved in the filming of a local horror movie that’s going to be truly awful.

            It’s about mermaid monsters. I help coordinate some of the water work and act as the !production photographer and backup safety diver for the underwater scenes.

            It’s going to be really, really bad. But it’s still fun!

            (https://lemmy.world/pictrs/image/6785e9f4-ba82-470d-879a-0f69588ede2e.jpeg)

            • KubeRoot@discuss.tchncs.de
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              1 year ago

              A beautiful B movie?

              • chiliedogg@lemmy.world
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                1 year ago

                More like a D

      • InternetCitizen2@lemmy.world
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        Satan’s asshole in Texas is called Dan Patrick.

      • Cornelius_Wangenheim@lemmy.world
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        More specifically, Houston.

    • MrShankles@reddthat.com
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      Nurse here: we ask ‘orientation’ questions as part of our assessment

      I had a younger patient going through the straights with hallucinations (newly diagnosed schizophrenia)… and I had been asking the same questions (as we do) a lot

      So I asked them once again, “Do you know why you’re in the hospital?”. Their response: “Deez nuts!”

      I always appreciate a good “Deez nuts” joke, but that one has been my favorite so far. The volition on their face and the shitty smirk; they’re completely tied down with a guard because they would occasionally be violent… but hot damn, that was a zinger.

      I counted their response as oriented— they know what they did lol

      • BonesOfTheMoon@lemmy.world
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        I like that so much! Deez nuts lol.

  • Omega_Man@lemmy.world
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    Huh didn’t realize people hate Coldplay so much. Not for me, but I didn’t think they were particularly bad.

    • Sippy Cup@lemmy.world
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      I could be comatose, damn near brain dead, almost lifeless, and if Rhianna starts singing country I will jump out of the medical bed and throw myself out the nearest window to get away from it.

      • grrgyle@slrpnk.net
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        Not a country fan, or not a Rihanna country fan? I’m neither, really, but curious to hear from people with real opinions on the genre, etc

        • Sippy Cup@lemmy.world
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          I just really hate that song.

    • grrgyle@slrpnk.net
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      I love Coldplay, but this is just funny

    • OldWoodFrame@lemm.ee
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      For a while they were like Maroon 5 level over exposed. I don’t think I’ve heard a song from them in a while though.

      • Excrubulent@slrpnk.net
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        To be honest that level of overexposure doesn’t happen if you totally suck. It was cool to hate on them for a while though. You know, just like it’s cool to hate anything mainstream or basic, which is honestly a pretty basic way to view art in general. Like literally all it takes to participate is to notice that something is popular.

        Edit: Although to be honest the way media companies love to milk songs to death is super annoying and makes you hate the music. You see it today with trending tiktok sounds. I’d blame this more than the quality of the music.

  • Akasazh@feddit.nl
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    For a short moment I thought she was referring to the life support.

    Doesn’t make the joke funnier per se, but a lot darker

    • blackn1ght@feddit.uk
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      turns off life support

      “HAMMOND YOU BLITHERING IDIOT!”

  • Etterra@lemmy.world
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    I think they misspoke. They probably meant to say Nickelback, not Coldplay.

    • rudyharrelson@lemmy.radio
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      Does anyone else hate Nickelback, Coldplay, Justin Bieber, Billie Eilish, and Maroon 5? Upvotes to the left

      • roboto@feddit.org
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        OMG I never dared to say this out loud, it‘s so controversial yet so true!

      • Etterra@lemmy.world
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        I’m just indifferent to Coldplay and can’t even remember who Maroon 5 is. I’ve also never listened to Billie Eilish, but she has the worst case of resting bitch face I think I’ve ever seen in my life.

      • loaExMachina@sh.itjust.works
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        Remember this amazing game? Kill Justin Beaver flash game

      • grrgyle@slrpnk.net
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        People hate Billie Eilish?? I don’t go out of my way to listen to their stuff, but that latest song “lunch” has been getting a lot of radio play, and it’s fuckin hot, like what’s not to like

  • FordBeeblebrox@lemmy.world
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    My grandpa had a stroke and the various Mormon friends neighbors that never said a word to this coffee drinking sailor suddenly wanted to put church choir music on.

    He likes Mozart and I will bury you in the backyard if you try

  • Tier 1 Build-A-Bear 🧸@lemmy.world
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    Did you mean, “turn IT up”?

    Also, if bands were colors, Coldplay would be beige.

    • LifeBandit666@feddit.uk
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      Is that a kind of yellow?

      Listen to the song, see how it sounds to.you, it’s doggy do, and they were all BEIGE

  • tweeks@feddit.nl
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    I read this as if she was on life support.

    • FrowingFostek@lemmy.world
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      I saw her as an old southern girl like that lady from the notebook.

  • EleventhHour@lemmy.world
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    I hope he replied, “Don’t Look Back In Anger”

    • Classy@sh.itjust.works
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      That’s Oasis, isn’t it?

      • EleventhHour@lemmy.world
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        Nana’s got Alzheimer’s, not Shazam

        • martinb@lemmy.sdf.org
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          If I had been drinking coffee, you would have been required to pay my dry cleaning bill! 👏👏👏

  • beejboytyson@lemmy.world
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    Viva la vida

    • ramsay@lemmy.world
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  • Fridgeratr@lemmy.dbzer0.com
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    Hahah dae Coldplay bad

  • Ð Greıt Þu̇mpkin@lemm.ee
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    Years later and that album launch is still traumatizing folks XD

  • A Phlaming Phoenix@lemm.ee
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    Coldplay is the John Krasinski of music.

  • acockworkorange@mander.xyz
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    11 months ago

    She wanted Nickelback.

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