“If you insist.”

starts writing my thesis

And now my turkey sandwich is a little dry.

Same goes for this comic image:

Why not pick up the boy, who is not suppose to be on the tracks, instead of destroying a perfectly good train?

Bee capsule hotels

This is the logic behind Japanese toilets having a tiny hand sink over the commode so you wash your hands with the water that’s being used to refill the basin.

Why not use it that way? You’re just going to pee in it later.

Somebody’s been watching Sword Art Online.

“BOTH towers??”

Just add water!

CIA: “We have reliable intel that the LGBT community is producing weapons grade queer.”

Bro walked to All Blue.

This comment will not get enough upvotes.

“My bank says I have less equity than that.”

“But surviving uses more resources than generating value for the shareholders. Why are you so selfish?”

Star Trek has multiple stories about people being accidentally cloned by the transporter.

Which implies it is creating a copy.

Which implies it is destroying the original.

“But what does she DO?”

Star Trek transporters.

I want someone to open one of those things and do lab tests to see what’s in the water.

“What killed the dinosaurs?

THE ICE AGE!”

Sounds like John Candy.