Mine varies from like 4 to -5, with random flucturations into -7 to -8. I’d say it averages out at like -1.

  • bstix@feddit.dk
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    19 minutes ago

    It really depends on the reference. 0 today is not the same as 0 was when I grew up. By the standards then, it was probably a 4, but by today’s standards it would be in the negatives, -2or so.

  • RBWells@lemmy.world
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    10 hours ago

    +3 or so, benign neglect, with unavoidable trauma. My dad died when I was a teenager and that sucked, my mom fell apart, also was diagnosed bipolar and I didn’t enjoy being a child at all, but do honestly believe my mom did her best, and we were fed, housed, schooled, and not interfered with much beyond that.

    What score would the over-involved helicopter parents of my kids’ friends land on this scale, though? Those kids aren’t spoiled exactly but certainly not neglected.

  • Lady Butterfly she/her@reddthat.com
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    16 hours ago

    Fact that might be useful… research varies on whether psychological abuse or sexual abuse is the most destructive in childhood. Psychological changes how you think, how you attribute meaning to events and you’re ability to regulate your emotions. It’s not just words

  • Cracks_InTheWalls@sh.itjust.works
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    15 hours ago

    Damn, that’s a good question. Like a 6 or 7 on this scale, all told? Parents were good, wasn’t spoiled but didn’t want for much, some tension with my dad at times/impact of necessary absences due to military lifestyle, but he was generally a good dude.

    Idk - I look back on my childhood fondly more or less.

  • Toes♀@ani.social
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    14 hours ago

    -5, my parent tried but the whole situation was ugly.

    I think if I was born now, I’d be much better off. Medical knowledge was ass back in the day.

  • Øπ3ŕ@lemmy.dbzer0.com
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    15 hours ago

    Without delving, I’m guessing a solid -6 on that scale, here. I’ve done a fairly bang-up job of climbing up from that point, but w/o health insurance, etc., that’s gonna be a challenge for the ages.

  • ℕ𝕖𝕞𝕠@slrpnk.net
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    1 day ago

    Why would being spoiled rate highly? It’s a bad thing.

    I’d rate mine a 10 but because of independence. My parents gave me both the trust and the skills to do what I wanted to do. I biked all over town, didn’t need to check in outside of mealtimes, read the whole library, went to museums and concerts and dances. I taught myself to type and then to program. It was fantastic.

    I wasn’t spoiled, though. We didn’t have any spare money, so anything I wanted to do I had to pay for myself; I was babysitting and mowing lawns from a young age. I had my chores at home including taking care of my brothers. I had food, if not my favorites, and clothes, though mostly hand-me-downs from cousins. Any electronics in the house were shared, and either bought used or received as gifts from most distant relatives. But stuff isn’t what makes childhood great: friends, freedom, and family are.

  • rosie2007@sh.itjust.works
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    1 day ago

    10, hands down. I was (and still am) raised by a single dad. He’s great. He’s non-monogamous/non-committal (or just aloof, you could say), so at home I’ve always had all of his attention to myself. I’m a total daddy’s girl.

  • dingus@lemmy.world
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    22 hours ago

    I wouldn’t say that I was spoiled, but growing up middle class without parental abuse towards myself I think would rank me pretty highly on this. I didn’t realize how privileged I had it until I became an adult. Probably 8/10.

    However, my dad was abusive to my mom and a bit to my older sibling. So for my older sibling the score would probably be significantly lower.

  • Firipu@lemmy.world
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    1 day ago

    The 6 months a year dad was home (sailor) somewhere between a - 5 and a 2. The 6 other a solid 8+ (not because of being spoiled, but just general happiness and joy)

    He never hit us, but he verbally abused my mom and sister and was/is just in general a miserable cunt that ruins other people’s days. I’m glad he only retired when my siblings and I were basically out of the house for good.

    Tried to get my mom to leave him when we all had the finances to support her, but she stayed with him. Living basically 90% separate lives in the same house. Only hate and despise in that house left.

    • dingus@lemmy.world
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      22 hours ago

      Wow…similar experience growing up I guess. My dad was very verbally abusive to my mom and a bit to my older sibling. Some physical abuse in private too I guess. The rest of us siblings didn’t really get that from him.

      As a kid I would always ask my mom why she didn’t leave my dad. Thankfully she did eventually in my case. Been over 10 years since she left and I think has improved her life remarkably. Older sibling has also gone no contact with my dad so that’s good there too.

      I’m sorry your parents are still together like that.

  • Suck_on_my_Presence@lemmy.world
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    21 hours ago

    Hard to rate, like others, but mine probably swung from a 3 to -8.

    My parents made sure my siblings and I had a lot of adventures under our belt, so we were often camping or going on small trips or skiing. But we were poor, they were irresponsible alcoholics (with some drugs on the side) who had children far, far too young and didn’t have any coping skills.

    The verbal abuse was constant and the physical abuse only happened when my siblings weren’t there, but it was traumatic, in a word.

    When I was 8 or 9 years old, my dad was going berserk and threatening all kinds of stuff after breaking a bunch of furniture. So I called the cops. Let’s just say my parents were mad. I was grounded for a while and given many talks about why I was in the wrong, even though I absolutely knew I wasn’t.

  • Balaquina@lemmy.ca
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    1 day ago

    When it comes to financial stuff, probably a 7/10. I had piano lessons, riding lessons, summer camp, etc. I honestly have a lot of fond memories of all that stuff. When it comes to abuse, probably -7. Lots of physical violence, screaming and yelling, threats to kill my animals, threats to kill me, threats for them to kill themselves, constant criticism about literally everything, and having to walk on eggshells my entire childhood and living in a constant state of extreme stress because I never knew when things would blow up and I would get my ass kicked for something random like not setting the table correctly.

    • DeathByBigSad@sh.itjust.worksOP
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      1 day ago

      Lots of physical violence, screaming and yelling

      threats to kill me

      constant criticism about literally everything, and having to walk on eggshells my entire childhood and living in a constant state of extreme stress

      Omg I feel this comment. That’s about how I feel during my -7 to -8 moments. Thank you for sharing, I kinda feel less alone now.

      • Balaquina@lemmy.ca
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        1 day ago

        You definitely don’t need to feel alone, there are legions of us out there. Our experience is not uncommon. I’m sorry that you had to go through that. I hope you can find some peace, and that you can reconcile (if desired) with your parents. It took a long time, but I eventually did and things are a lot better now.