I have never quite understood the obsession with life as suffering - life includes suffering but is not defined by suffering, it’s defined by physical embodiment and consciousness. I don’t really fear death exactly, but do so enjoy being physically embodied and conscious. Have I suffered? Sure, plenty. But not more than I have enjoyed. I don’t at all define or experience my life AS suffering. Joy is louder.

I do think heaven or afterlife would have to involve losing all critical thought and individuality, particularly the Christian heaven, I don’t think most people could be ecstatically happy if they knew others were in hell and they could not do anything to try to help.

More seriously, if you want to serve okra to someone who says they don’t like it, I’ve had success with giving them dry-fried okra. Wash the okras and dry very thoroughly, they have to be dry for this to work. Slice them (throw out the stems). Saute in hot pan with a little oil and any spices you want (berebere is good) but - this is important - NO SALT until they are done.

This cooks them without the slime, I personally like the okra slime but also like them dry fried, the flavor is really good.

People are mostly recommending what I’d consider intermediate level cooking.

Cheese grits are delicious and easy. Buy a bag of 5 minute grits (not instant, never buy instant grits) cook according to directions - make sure to salt the water. At the end when it’s like bubbling lava, add shredded cheese of your choice and if you have it, nutritional yeast makes them better, but don’t worry, it’s good either way. Possible additions - jalapenos, smoked paprika. Serve with a fried egg on top.

Freakishly delicious and so easy.

Odds and ends and sparkles and friends.

I live in Florida and the northerners who come down are so much more racist than the native born, at least in my personal experience. My ex came from Michigan and went to an all white school up there, never met or hung out with anyone not white. They may not have explicit segregation but do have effective segregation.

So he comes down here where we were forcibly desegregated so I have friends of all sorts and my kids do & also it’s just more a block by block version of “segregation” less a side of town so we are just most often in mixed situations and holy shit he was not prepared for that. So racist he held every stereotype you can imagine.

So anyway - I kind of agree, up north it seems they are theoretically not racist but are segregated, down here more explicit trouble because we are together, but it’s getting better. Or was at least through the generation following mine, maybe not anymore, not sure.

Honestly I generally vote against, not for. There is not usually anyone I feel really good about voting for. So I vote defensively. It hasn’t worked lately.

Sad sad songs.

Boulder to Birmingham

Red dirt girl

Nick Drake song Road because he did not find a road to take him home.

Dancing can, if I feel free enough. Like going out dancing someplace.

Not the cat, but I trained the dog to stomp grasshoppers.

One of our cats, Kimchi, once ran out the door and before I could close it, ran in with a lizard. world’s fastest hunt. Like before I realized she was out and yelled for her to get back in (inside cat).

And once, before the era of cell phones, I saw a lizard wrestle a palmetto bug. Equal in size, it was crazy, like a monster movie.

That question is way too general. First, try turning it off and back on.

Medical problems - ask a doctor

Emotional problems - ask a really good and not judgemental friend.

Technical problems - YouTube is pretty good for those, if there is nobody you can ask.

Kids seem so much nicer than when I was a kid. My kids’ friends would sit and talk to me, when I went to get them from school I would get random kids saying stuff like “you are x’s mom? They are so cool!” “Your outfit is pretty!” I would never, ever have said that to a mom at school.

I don’t just think they are not worse, I think they are better than we were.

My friend says - if you don’t like unsweetened baker’s chocolate you don’t like chocolate.

I’m not sure about this when it comes to heroin. I’ve tried it and it was meh, but others try it feel like they have never before felt ok. And pot too I can’t find the high at all, it feels yucky but so many people love it and feel high on it, so in some ways there are “two kinds of people in the world” situations.

I do agree that anyone can become an addict if they try hard enough, though. Coffee for me, caffeine.

I don’t get that - if a mod gets mad about downvotes they can hide them. They did that on the old NSFW, maybe it has to be instance-wide?

It’s not something that would ever have occurred to me. I suppose if the Cocktails was being brigaded by abolitionists, or Hair getting brigaded by salty bald guys or something I’d be touchy, but overall I’ve found Lemmy to be pretty chill, so it hasn’t come up.

Oh but Fontaines DC, Leon Bridges, King Gizzard and the Lizard Wizard, Waxahatchee and Big Thief and Idles and Wunderhorse and Doechii, Charley Crockett, Jason Isbell, Steve Lacey, there is such an abundance of very good music, we go to concerts and see live bands and really, there is so much great music being made. And I’m older than 50, lol. AI ‘art’ of any sort can rot in hell, yeah.

Yeah that will improve but really, for now, one of you should get up early and one sleep in, wake the other one up as you are leaving for work, in the evening morning person go to bed & let evening person them handle putting the baby down to sleep. Even one more hour of sleep helps so much.

Also I never spooned food into any of them, nursed a couple years but didn’t give baby food just things they could eat themselves, pieces of food, until they were just eating food no nursing. Baths I often just took them in the shower with me when very small. Rolled up whole outfits, underwear, socks, everything and let them take one & dress themselves pretty early on. Streamline where you can, it doesn’t hurt them at all. If you can always include them when you cook and clean, they become helpful faster, I was not good at that. But remember they WANT to grow up, let him do as much as he can for himself. It won’t be much yet but just get in the habit.

Dogs have a much different idea of what a good smell is. We have caught our dog trying to eat cat poop straight from the litter box. My husband had a dog who would roll in poop. They apparently think shit a delightful and delicious smell.

The most boring, I dunno. My most boring unpopular opinion? Licorice is absolutely delicious.

Also - music now is certainly as good as at any time in the past.

We had a store that sold only pirate costumes here. For real.

https://piratefashions.com/

Yes. Two & three year olds are blisteringly cute, but take so much attention, you are right.

Around 7 is the age of reason, so that’s when it really eases, you can explain more and control less, and teenagers can be legit helpful. But even 3 years old is easier than 2 because they can speak better, so are not so frustrated.

I remember with my first, she was truly a terrible toddler, just so much will and energy, had tantrums. On more than one occasion I had to remove her from a store or other public place. Put her in gymnastics and all that energy got focused on sports, was a good thing eventually.

I had 4 and married into 5 more - one day you will be thinking it all went by so fast, it’s crazy. Hang on, you will make it. I won’t say it gets easy soon, but less exhausting soon. Do you have a partner? Can one of you do more of the morning work and the other the evening shift?