I learned in a car with automatic transmission first, but had to drive both and prefer (strongly prefer) a manual transmission.

Worst one ever - The Van. The shifter was about a meter long, the gears were so hard to find, and I had to drive it in tight spaces.

Best one ever, my current Honda from 2014. Absolutely glorious.

Walking is a very good start, yes. And start slow.

When you get high at night, go for a walk. Night walk is lovely.

Also whenever you think about it, stand on one foot, sounds odd but it’s good for your body. Little exercise breaks, go up the stairs and back down a couple of times.

Mostly I want to say - building a habit takes six weeks. Force yourself every day for six weeks. After that it gets easier because you will feel better on a day you exercise, than a day you don’t, and because you will have found the time of day that works. Habit works a lot better than willpower, but you have to power your way through those first few weeks. Commit to six weeks of daily something. Push ups, walking, whatever.

That is so young to worry about a career. What jobs have you been applying to? There are other ways to get into trades, if that’s what you want. Or just working at the grocery store, they seem to want to promote men so much more than women. All the managers at the ones around here started as baggers, all are dudes. If there is a Whole Foods, they have programs to learn butchering, cheese mongering, pizza making, baking.

But get a job first, any job. My kids all started out working at the skating rink, crap job but it’s so much easier to get a job when you have a job. Will your parents let you stay there and save money?

You know, I thought it was gone, spent my youth watching bands in garages and stuff, didn’t hear much about that anymore, community radio station still around.

But then my high schooler asked me to take her to a show in a church. A what? But we went and oh my goodness underground music is absolutely still around. There was a mosh pit, I wished I’d brought earplugs, way too loud for the space but there was a punk band, a speed metal band, and the band she went to see was the headliner - all local bands. It is still there, you just aren’t part of that world anymore.

With my ex MIL I stay friendly because she’s great in so many ways, and just act completely ignorant when she says something awful, for example:

ExMIL: I’m looking for a church but can’t find one that is Christian enough.

Me: Oh, I understand. So many are just so worldly now and not at all Christ like, they don’t welcome the stranger, they do that prosperity gospel nonsense, culture war bullshit instead of good works. That makes sense.

ExMIL: oh I meant they are too progressive, too loosey goosey (Paraphrasing)

Me: Huh?

Or

ExMIL: I don’t understand this trans nonsense.

Me: I know, right? Who gives a fuck what someone else says they are! You say you are a boy, you are a boy, it doesn’t have any effect on anyone else, I don’t understand the drama around it, at all.

Basically whenever I get a chance I just intentionally misinterpret it like there is no possibility that she meant that, because nobody could possibly mean that.

Most of my soups are of the Clear Out the Refrigerator variety, so all are inventions in a way, I guess.

But recently made a dal with red lentils, coconut milk, Hong Tsoi, and Berebere and wow it was good.

Ana Aho by Hassan el Asmar

Ana Ho!

Wenta Ho!

We had a guy come talk to us about this at work, a researcher. The way he explained it was that staying healthy let you have more years that feel good, getting old more slowly doesn’t necessarily mean you will live longer, but live without disease then get something that kills you fast.

So that if, for example, you live to 80, get old at 70, not 50, so that you don’t have to be old for 30 years. That’s the point of the whole longevity push and it is actually working, people are aging more slowly.

Off topic but MHT was a lifesaver for me, and it’s safer to start it as early as you can so maybe talk to your doctor.

So far for me it has been from 40ish on.

Agree on childhood, mine wasn’t bad really but I hated the absolute lack of freedom.

Early adulthood is poverty and struggle, and anger is closer to the surface.

30s were the worst for me, raising kids was nice but I was stressed all the time, ALL the time, and also didn’t realize how much birth control pills were messing with me.

Early 40s, wow. Sex drive like a teenager but so much more opportunity to use it. Probably nature aiming for some reproduction before cutting it off but WOW. Felt good physically, and almost certainly my best looking years were mid 40s, underweight but tall, I love the look, so felt attractive too.

50s so far probably my most comfortable years. Nothing hurts, still some financial stress but kids grew up great, better relationship , it’s mostly just work, exercise, fewer responsibilities I’d say. Certainly an easier time emotionally - don’t get mad as easy.

Stay in shape and hang on. I can’t say it WILL get better but will say it CAN get better. It has for me. And it’s been kinda nice to have it come later.

What did your parents do for you, OP?

I certainly couldn’t afford to support my kids that much financially, you must be very well off! But I did always do more for mine in some ways, than my mom did for us (and less in some other ways). My mom did get us cars and covered the insurance, she saved some money for us for school but in K-12 just sent us to bad schools because she thought it was better to not let them get even worse by putting us in private (there were no good state options back then), so I didn’t get much in the way of academic education until college. She kicked me out at 17 since I wasn’t in high school and not ready for college so I was homeless for awhile. Tough love in some ways, I guess.

I worked to get my kids in better schools K-12, to find a good fit for each kid, and warned them that I wasn’t going to be able to do much toward university. So the academically inclined among them got into schools that either did sliding scale, only charged what we could pay, or state schools (the state now covers tuition for high achievers who jump through a few hoops) and lived at home or took loans for their other costs.

I do let them (and their girlfriend or boyfriend actually) live at home until they get on their feet financially, so far that seems to work fine, it’s an enormous discount for them not paying rent, so they can save enough to get started.

I cannot get them cars or pay the insurance in this current economy, and couldn’t for the first two because the insurance alone would increase monthly cost by $600 and that certainly is not in the budget. My penultimate child pays her own insurance and I let her use my car to go to school, because my office is so close I don’t need the car, made her bus before but then she said she’d drop off the high schooler on her way so that worked out.

Basically - my main constraints are financial but I don’t think I’d be inclined to provide as much as you have. If I could get them cars I probably would have, though.

I rearranged the letters on the after hours sign to After 5 pm Please Dance and nobody ever figured out who did it.

I have been saying that for about 40 years, can’t be the only one.

This is part of why I went into accounting. Can do it at any company, don’t need to work anyplace I think is evil, every organization uses this skill set, most everyone needs something accounted for.

But - when my oldest wanted to go into physical therapy work I pushed hard for her to do the training in the Army because she could easily meet the physical requirements, they pay you while training instead of you paying for school, and yes you are indentured for 7 years while you get the best possible training, but are not used in the field just in the hospitals in safe areas, and don’t do anything evil just help people. She could not countenance it but I still think she’d be better off, would have finished all that by now. So I guess I have still no problem rationalizing working for an evil empire if you are doing something good for people, and getting good pay and training for yourself, that you can then take out into the world to do good and make money.

I don’t put tomatoes in salad or sandwiches (I don’t pick them out if they are in, but don’t affirmatively like them, texture and taste).

Onion and cheese are my non-negotiables in a sandwich. Pickled jalapenos or cucumbers can sub for tomato IMO. Fancy mayo can also be good for adding interest to a sandwich, or compound butter if you prefer.

For a salad, whatever the fuck you want can go in a salad! There is an Italian salad that is just shaved fennel, onion, oranges, and olives. I actually like it but my point is, if that can be a salad anything can. Also - if you like the taste of tomatoes but not the gloppy seed part, you can scoop that out of the tomato slices or just use the outside part and cut out the middle, like you would do with a bell pepper.

How do you feel about sun dried tomatoes?

My favorite now are home fermented, kvass, tepache, ginger beer. Tepache my favorite of those.

Coke Zero, I try not to buy it much but still really like it.

Jarritos grapefruit, except it’s too sweet. That flavor is amazing, I just have to cut it with lime and some soda water (or better, lime and tequila for the best Paloma)

This may vary by country, but here no, unless you affirmatively designate them as able to know your medical information, and as emergency contacts.

Oh no I would hate to meet my young me, because school sucked so bad, my dad died, my mom fell apart, I just don’t think adult me could provide anything that would help with most of what I went through, so no, that is a hard no.

In terms of liking young me? I was selfish, like most kids I guess, interesting enough, trying to remember 10, that’s still elementary, I was bored out of my skull most of the time.