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Cake day: June 14th, 2023

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  • I don’t use my car much anymore, so would consider that liquid, and could make the kids pay some rent now they are working (not much), if I sold that and nothing in the house needed repaired or maintained (ha ha ha) I am at almost 3 years. So I guess if I had some fatal illness and was willing to run out all of both my &my husband’s retirement money I could stop working. Well, no, nevermind, I couldn’t, because the medical care would bankrupt us. But we would not immediately starve anymore. It only took half a century to get here!


  • I have eclectic taste in music. Mostly I give thanks for streaming services and radio - back when we had to buy albums I got literal anxiety because there was simply no possible way I could get even 1% of what I liked, and the thought of cataloguing it also oppressed me.

    So -

    I do read Brooklyn Vegan occasionally for stuff I might not have heard of, and tours, Pitchfork for live versions of songs.

    I also let the streaming algorithm have its way with my playlist often, when not listening to a whole album. And I listen to radio (literal FM community radio) shows I like, and sometimes my kids scoop me on some artist they think I will like. And understand that the universe of music I might enjoy is blessedly so large I will not get to the end of it.

    Oh and I go to concerts - often I have found bands because they opened for someone I went to see.


  • My kids have theoretical public transportation to school, work, we live near the bus routes in several directions.

    To work or the high school - that bus runs 1 times per hour. So they can only arrive very early or very late, and it’s about an hour walk to either of those.

    The bus route to the university is actually pretty good, runs every half hour, and takes about 40 minutes to get there (vs. 10-15 minutes drive) then you have to trust your luck with the loop runner bus that goes from the transit center around the campus, that adds between 10 minutes and an hour, randomly because it has no schedule, just drives the loop all day and arrives whenever. There is an app that tracks it so you can know whether to risk crossing the huge road between the transfer ramp & the uni.




  • Yoga & lifting but mostly yoga. I got in a pretty bad car accident 10 years ago and did not get hurt, I mean got banged up but my back did not get hurt at all. Everyone told me “just wait” but that shoe never dropped, and I’m sure it’s the yoga. Fell on my ass the other day (enthusiastic dog knocked my feet out from under me on a slippery surface) and didn’t get hurt, and I’m old enough one of the questions the doctor asks is “any falls lately”

    Move it in every direction, strengthen all those little muscles and yes, core but not just abs, every side of your core. Bodies are use it or lose it systems.





  • I looked at my paycheck (US) vs. one of our Swedish colleagues when I was doing our payroll, and yes, the tax was about 45%, my federal withholding is much less but once you add in the deductions for 401k (unsecured pension scheme) and health insurance (that doesn’t cover anything except annual wellness until we pay in 8,000 USD) and social security (the fed pension being paid now to old people, and their healthcare) my deductions also leave about 55% of my pay for net pay.

    The part I object to most in terms of cost here is the healthcare - my deductions may mirror the Swede but I don’t think they also have to cover the first 8k of cost out of pocket.

    (Edit - it was Sweden not Denmark)


  • I don’t mind really, just wish it was used for more things that helped society. And it needs to be a little more progressive, though it is the most progressive of the taxes we have here.

    My ex MIL, who literally used WIC and welfare when she was a single mom, and leveraged that into a nursing degree, rails against welfare now and doesn’t want her taxes going to that, doesn’t want to pay. Not even in a pull the ladder up after herself way, she just refuses to admit she benefited from it.


  • Yes, the height of black and white men averages close to 5’10" here, and the height of black and white women around 5’5" I think, we do just have a lot of everyone here, except apparently not Dutch?

    My husband & I are both about 5’9" and he says he feels dead average because sometimes he goes out and is taller than all the guys he passes, and sometimes goes out and is shorter than all the guys he passes, but usually doesn’t notice, I feel tall because I don’t notice if all the women I pass are shorter than me but really notice if many are taller than me.







  • I’ve not been to many, but have had people repeatedly tell me our wedding was the best they’d ever been to, so I guess ours was the best by some measure. I have an enormous family, husband and I got together as adults so both had kids too, some grown, we ended up with 50 people only inviting immediate family (brothers, sisters, their partners and kids, our parents, our kids) the weather cooperated, we had open bar and only one person got too drunk, DJ not great but not bad, so much dancing, it was nothing super fancy nor bare bones, I would say nice enough so everyone could feel comfortable and not more.

    If anyone is wondering, the things I think made it good - open bar, kids running around, good music, enough structure but not too much (a cocktail hour then ceremony then reception with music & a first dance, then food, then more partying, food left out for people to get more if they want, no assigned seating, tables pushed to edges so big dance floor and again I think open bar is a non negotiable, make sure there are plenty of non alcoholic options at the bar too)