• Weirdfish@lemmy.world
    link
    fedilink
    arrow-up
    37
    ·
    4 months ago

    I’ve gotten it in two flavors.

    One is people who are so convinced that life has no meaning without children they feel like they are saving you by pressuring you to have kids.

    The other, and far more angry, seem to have had kids because they thought they had too, or had a “happy accident”, and aren’t actually happy about. They see you as the life they could have had.

  • geekwithsoul@lemm.ee
    link
    fedilink
    English
    arrow-up
    32
    ·
    4 months ago

    Not really sure your premise holds. I mean, sure a bunch of tradwives and their husbands might get upset when a woman declines to have kids, but in general I don’t think most people care. I’ve got kids but most of my friends don’t and I can’t imagine anyone caring one way or another.

  • GrayBackgroundMusic@lemm.ee
    link
    fedilink
    English
    arrow-up
    17
    ·
    4 months ago

    I have the opposite question: Why are childfree people so triggered by children?

    Context: I don’t care if you do or don’t have children, in general. I care how you and yours are behaved. Have kids and they’re well behaved? Fine. Have kids and they’re crazy? Not fine. Don’t have kids and you’re nice? Fine. Don’t have kids and you’re a shit head about them? Not fine.

    • Noodle07@lemmy.world
      link
      fedilink
      arrow-up
      4
      ·
      4 months ago

      They’re stressing so much about the kids they don’t have it’s as bad as if they had kids for real

  • Rhynoplaz@lemmy.world
    link
    fedilink
    arrow-up
    17
    ·
    edit-2
    4 months ago

    What are you even talking about?

    I’m guessing this came from an interaction you had with a specific person. You should probably ask them, because I don’t think most people feel the way they do.

    • Hanrahan@slrpnk.net
      link
      fedilink
      English
      arrow-up
      1
      ·
      3 months ago

      I’m 58, child free and have many such interaction multiple times.

      Perhaps the other way around you don’t but other people with kids sometimes do.

  • MrJameGumb@lemmy.world
    link
    fedilink
    arrow-up
    14
    ·
    4 months ago

    You’re really describing a small but very vocal portion of people with kids. I don’t think most parents are that concerned about it.

    The people who you’re describing only had kids because they grew up being taught that that’s what they were supposed to do wether they actually wanted kids or not. This very specific group get upset that child free people are somehow going against the plan by not bending over backwards to accommodate everyone who did have kids.

    They’re also constantly angered further when they see child free adults having a fun relaxing time while they’re stuck wrangling their own ill mannered progeny.

    They certainly are very petty, angry, frustrated people but they definitely don’t represent everyone who has kids lol

  • haui@lemmy.giftedmc.com
    link
    fedilink
    arrow-up
    10
    ·
    4 months ago

    Interesting. When I read this I read it as the subreddit childfree which has a pretty anti children vibe and I instinctively assumed you meant people that dont like kids and/or dont think having children should be advertised and supported as much as it is.

    As a DINKWAL I can understand all sides here. People should do what they like but getting asked „no kids? Why? Wont you reconsider?“ makes me want to punch someone.

    • Drusenija@lemmy.world
      link
      fedilink
      arrow-up
      7
      ·
      4 months ago

      I’ve seen the acronym DINKWAD before, but never DINKWAL. I know DINKWAD is dual income, no kids with a dog, so now I can only assume you own a Llama.

      • haui@lemmy.giftedmc.com
        link
        fedilink
        arrow-up
        3
        ·
        edit-2
        4 months ago

        That comment made me laugh out loud! Thank you very much! I would in fact love to own a llama!

        But you were on the right track. I made the acronym up. In my case it means double income no kids with a lizard.

        • Drusenija@lemmy.world
          link
          fedilink
          arrow-up
          3
          ·
          4 months ago

          Okay, my sister in law is a big fan of lizards and sneks, so now I’m embarrassed that’s not where I went to first 😅 However I wish you the best of luck with your Llama owning aspirations in the future!

          • haui@lemmy.giftedmc.com
            link
            fedilink
            arrow-up
            3
            ·
            4 months ago

            Thanks a lot! Greetings to your sister from by four bearded dragons. :) will update if I manage to own a llama at any point.

        • Drusenija@lemmy.world
          link
          fedilink
          arrow-up
          1
          ·
          4 months ago

          I’m allergic, so wasn’t the first thing to come to mind. However yes, would also be a valid alternative.

  • jeffw@lemmy.world
    link
    fedilink
    arrow-up
    9
    ·
    4 months ago

    Well TIL what DINK means. As another DINK household (unless you count the dogs), I have literally never been judged or had a confrontation about this.

    Sure, almost all of my friends have kids now, so the nature of our relationships have changed. But I don’t think it’s necessarily in a bad way.

      • Vanth@reddthat.com
        link
        fedilink
        English
        arrow-up
        12
        ·
        4 months ago

        Booooooring. You’re supposed to get frothing mad at each other so your hate-filled comments can be screenshotted and shared over and over to be mocked.

        • Em Adespoton@lemmy.ca
          link
          fedilink
          arrow-up
          4
          ·
          4 months ago

          I had kids so that others don’t have to.

          I like my kids, but I don’t like most other people’s kids. So yay, DINKs!

          • Vanth@reddthat.com
            link
            fedilink
            English
            arrow-up
            2
            ·
            4 months ago

            So that others don’t have to? Can you elaborate on that?

            Like, I don’t subscribe to any replacement theory, not to keep social security/economy afloat, not to keep any particular race dominant over others, not so humans maintain mastery of earth and nature, nothing. I am not sure why my not having children would drive someone else to have kids. They could just… only have the kids they want and not weigh my lack-of-kids into their equation.

            • Neshura@bookwormstory.social
              link
              fedilink
              English
              arrow-up
              3
              ·
              4 months ago

              strictly speaking facts a society needs to reproduce somewhere close to replacement level or above in order to have some semblance of stability, what OP likely means is that they had kids A) because they wanted them and B) because they don’t think most people make good parents. By having kids they contributed to the birth rate and therefore (hopefully) removed some unfit person’s decision to become a parent because the birth rates are horrendous. Also having kids when you can likely manage to actually raise them properly results in a lower ratio of spoiled brats in the population down the line, idiocracy sadly was very on point with the movies observation about reproduction behaviour among different education levels.

    • Lost_My_Mind@lemmy.world
      link
      fedilink
      arrow-up
      2
      ·
      4 months ago

      I don’t know DINK. Unless you mean Doink’s midget sidekick…

      Wait, is your family the cast of the 1994 Survivor Series? Doink, Dink, Pink, and Wink?