Vance has no conviction behind anything he ever says. Just google “jd vance never trump” and I’m sure you’ll find a slew of videos from a few years ago where he was saying he’s “a never trump guy”.

Kinda funny how quickly he spread his asshole to present himself for trump then.

I thought it was going to suddenly cut to the kid friendly anime.

Like all these pokemon are living very adult lives, surrounded by homocide, rape, and pokemon trafficing.

Then suddenly Ash shows up and he’s like PIKACHU! You can’t smoke! Silly Pikachu! I choose you!

And pikachu is like PIKA PIKA! PIKACHU!

And it’s the cheery colorful kid friendly world like you see on the official anime.

Then it cuts back to the dark gritty style, and Ash is just standing there, drooling, saying “pika pika pikachuuuuuu!!!”

The only reason the pokemon only say their own name on the show is because you’re seeing it through Ash’s eyes. But Ash’s mom was assaulted when she was pregnant, and that’s why she never leaves the house.

So pikachu is trying to explain to Ash how it’s dangerous out here, and he shouldn’t be here alone. But Ash is essentially a special needs kid, so none of that absorbs. He just hears pikachu saying his own name.

You’re doing it wrong. Your wife is supposed to be naked, and you’re supposed to put the bone inside her, and then lick it up! If that rib meat can’t be licked off the bone, then you’re doing late night ribs wrong.

FINAL dinner? How many dinners are there? Today I ate a sandwich out of a vending machine. That’s my daily food. 1 sandwich.

Meanwhile you’re over here like BOOM BABA BOOM BABA BOOM BOOM BOOM!!! THE WHOLE EARTH MOVES WHEN HE WALKS IN A ROOM!

So, I found a video of you.

I’m still looking to find someone who finds my particular brand of weirdness attractive.

But if a woman woke me up in the middle of my sleep to give me ribs, my brain wouldn’t be on enough to register what was happening.

I’d probably get confused, put it on my pillow, put my face on the rib, and go back to sleep licking the rib and pillow.

No, it’s a rib, not a vertebrae!

hugs you

There. We’re friends now.

God dammit. I was trying to make a joke about the correlation between the people I see breathing oxygen, and the stupid people I see. Then I was going to say there’s also a correlation between the people I see NOT breathing oxygen, and also turning blue and falling to the floor.

Then I realized the joke made it sound like I was defending tarrifs. Which wasn’t the point I wanted to be making. So then I tried making a joke about there being a correlation between fat americans, and eating fast food. But then the joke wasn’t even funny, or random. It was just boring.

So then I saw a bird outside, and remembered I have a low attention span. So I ran outside to look at the bird. He looked back at me like “Why are you looking at me, human? I’m just sitting here being a bird. Are you trying to watch me poop? You are, aren’t you? You realize that birds have no sphincter. So if I develop the urge to poop, there is a 100% chance it will come out immediately. You are never safe around birds to not poop on you. Which really kind of erases the old thing people used to think about birds targeting their car specifically to poop on from the sky. No bitch. I’m just flying through the sky, and you’re hundreds of feet below me, freely available to poop on. What are you going to do? Chase me? I will poop on you, and get away with it. Because I’m a bird.”

Then I came back inside, and realized I never thought of a joke, or something random to say here.

Life is funny.

The whole room is black. How would blue help?

Hold on…carry the 1…divide by pi…extrapolate the proton particles…

…what were we doing again?

This rabbit has a more exciting life than I do…

Hi Dr Nick!

been handled by strangers a lot

Just like my ex! Heyoooooo!

I’ve never heard of any of them besides the naked gun movies.

So probably.

I was going to say “OJ Simpson”, knowing he was in The Naked Gun. I figured he got the part because of his notority as a football player, and figured it was his only film.

Turns out he’s been acting since at least the mid 70s. He’s been in lile 15 movies. Which is kind of weird, knowing what he did later.

So, I guess I can’t say O.J Simpson…

Because you hit me.

Depends how hard I hit you.

You hit me, I hit you back.

How is that illogical?

Were you forced to have sex with people you didn’t know?