Which is essentially what saving is.

I don’t think I ever have.

Everything somehow keeps get better AND much worse at the same time.

Did she call you on April 1st?

If so, best prank ever.

Or at least lick it first.

Fuck that shit.

This is a big one for me too. Usually in professional context. As long as the task is completed correctly at the end, please don’t tell me how other people have done it halfway through. It’s just going to throw me off and slow me down.

I think it would be hard to find anyone who misses dial up.

By the way, I’m expecting an important call, so I need you to log off.

All research in successful drug policy shows that treatment should be increased and law enforcement decreased while abolishing mandatory minimum sentences.

I wasn’t very confident about the bits and pieces, so I looked it up, and calling it hot dog leather is accurate.

It’s actually a technical term disguised as common language.

Most people think genuine means “as real as you can get”. Which is true in everyday language.

But when it comes to leather, “Genuine” is a quality grade that means “The lowest quality of leather that technically includes actual animal hide.” Usually it’s bits and pieces glued together.

Consider it the hot dog of leather.

Nope. You’re normal.

I’m no expert, but I’ve only experienced fishiness after sex or a few days without a shower.

I did twice. First right after high school, and many years later, my work offered to pay for a master’s program.

Now, I work at a college, so technically, I go to college every day and plan to until retirement.

Kids are hard to keep up with. I know a lot about what my 12 year old is into, but I’m pretty much the last to hear what my 18 year old is up to.

How much info do you share with your parents?

Classic literature

Probably about 2/3rds of the time I most agree with the top comment.

For the record, this post was not one of those times

Shit yellow

I have a friend working on a Master’s in math. Get back to me in a year or two, and I’ll let you know what he’s doing.

After three months, we’re ready for them to go.

Honestly, I don’t know how I would react if one of my kids told me something like that. I obviously would want to prevent it, but I don’t think it would be an angry reaction. Mom might just not know how to deal with problems without fighting them aggressively.