I put a lot of effort into making sure no one understands how much of an agoraphobe I am
I often play dumb about little details I’ve noticed or remembered. I got in the habit when I was a kid and people would react weirdly like, “why do you know that?” So I’d just pretend I didn’t even when I did, and I never really stopped. I might notice what car somebody drives, for example, but if it comes up I just act like I don’t know unless they’ve specifically told me. I barely realize I’m doing it anymore.
Same! I know what vehicle most of my coworkers drive so I know which coworkers to talk cars/bikes with
Would telling them you have a photographic memory if they ask how you know work? Neurotypicals generally seem to accept that in my experience.
Why does this screencap look like
- a print out of a screenshot
- that someone took a picture of with their cellphone and
- then tried to use a scan correction app to make it look like not a screenshot?
That dark background in the bottom left corner is weird.
I have a different problem, I’ve spent so many years adjusting myself so aggressively that sometimes it’s hard to tell who “I” am anymore.
Finding an autistic partner that encouraged those parts of me is the kindest thing I’ve ever done for myself.
After several years of being loved for my oddities, I feel like my whole self again without being 90% redacted
Yep. An entire childhood of my dad always calling me a spazz, my mom abusing me, kids in school avoiding me because I was weird, always feeling like the only person not in on the joke in college, getting cussed out and – in one case – physically assaulted in the workforce… I started devoting most of my energy to just reacting and hiding. I spent most days just getting to the end of all the social bullshit and obligations.
Whatever you do, don’t tell me to relax. Every time I relax, everybody hates it. I suspect there’s a good, interesting person with the capacity to be happy in here somewhere but I get so little time to actually be them.
I am no longer me, just an assortment of masking techniques in a trenchcoat.
Reminds me of an exert from Tessa Violet’s “Word Ain’t Enough” which goes “carve me up into someone you’d like to choose till I’m only pieces of you”
sometimes I wonder who am I, if said “I” still exists
After my latest heavy meltdown, I found myself in the crater. Nice to know me.
I mean, on various scales that’s what everybody does.
Some of these posts reminds me of how 4chan talks about “normies”
Yep, everyone has to make adaptations, compromises and has to deal with things that are not ideal. However, this is often easier for neurotypicals than it is for neurodivergent and often on a less frequent basis. As in all things both have to make adjustments and both need to understand that the others have needs. The art is in finding what works for you, what does allow you to live your life in the best quality while limiting the impact on other peoples needs. Goes for everyone neurotypical or not.
We live in a society
Bottom text
The point is that both neurotypicals and neurodivergent have to adapt to the same things, but neurodivergent are unable to adapt to some things that neurotypicals are able to adapt to.
That is why neurodivergent are sometimes labeled as “annoying”.
So claiming neurodivergents are constantly tolerating things is missing the point.
I have to do (computerized) paperwork at the end of the shift, and it’s so hard when my coworkers (who are doing the same thing) are talking loudly all around me. I can’t filter out voices the way neurotypical people can, I have a weakened cocktail party effect and it’s hell trying to write anything if even one person talks around me.
Then I see my coworkers standing around in the parking lot chatting after work, and I just think, “Wow, to have the energy to voluntarily socialize after an entire day of work is amazing.” I mean, I know it isn’t amazing to them, but I’m just glad to be back in my quiet car going home, knowing I don’t have to speak to another soul for the rest of the day if I choose not to.
Interesting. I didn’t know the selective hearing has a name. This doesn’t work for me, so I tend to give up on conversations after a while when I’m in loud environment. 🤷♂️
Same. It it’s important, I’ll try to lead whoever I’m trying to talk to somewhere quieter.
I’m glad to have helped you learn a new term! I never did like the phrase “selective hearing.” It implies that we have a choice in the matter, that we are opting to “selectively” listen or not. Although that might be the case for some people, I personally strain to listen but just can’t filter out irrelevant noise. So it bothers me when someone calls it “selective.”
They want me to hide everything about myself. They keep moving the Overton window. I refuse to humour them. I won’t be driven into a corner. If they don’t like it, that’s their problem.
Funny thing is, I have been regularly driven nearly into insanity by neurotypicals listening to the same few songs on repeat. One alt-girl (later turned christian conservative) tried to convince me I just had to listen to the same alt-rock song 100 more times until it clicks, and realize it’s deep meaning (the deep meaning: sex). Yet my kind is characterized as liking monotonity and repetition.
🏴 politics and 🤘music. I don’t want to scare people 😣.
But also I really really don’t like eye contact. Like I have to look at the bridge of the nose. And I have to just learn to live with fireworks on July 4th 😟. And I really really feel deeply uncomfortable with me having facial hair. Which combos really well with my ADHD because then I forget to shave for a week and have a neckbeard.
And I really have to hide my existential discomfort around the police, because any time I deal with cops no matter how calm the situation starts, they are so incredibly eager to escalate the situation as much as they can. Which I then have to explain to people that yes, I’m a privileged cishet white guy but I’m still terrified of the cops because they’re still fucking monsters who are racist but not just racist. (As the enforcement arm of the State, the police reflects all forms of oppression currently perpetrated by the State they work for onto the working class, including racism, sexism, homophobia, transphobia, classism, and ableism.)
Nonsense, this is far from the prevailing feelings. Stop feeling sorry for yourself.
if you think that because you’re ok everyone else who struggles should suffer, then you’re not fine
If anything, I’m glad you didn’t have to experience it yourself.
