Do sponge baths count?

I lived in a van for a while, where I mainly used a wash cloth and a bucket. I had several plastic water bottles that I would pack into a backpack, bring into a public bathroom, and refill under the tap. When I got back to the van, one got mixed with no-rinse soap (that I’d gotten at a camping supply store), and 2 or 3 were used for washing my hair. On occasion I did go to the beach and use the free outdoor showers, but that wasn’t a viable everyday solution.

I left Twitter around 2008 (or whenever they stopped allowing posts through SMS), left Facebook proper a few years later (with the exception of chat, as it’s the only way I talk with certain people.) I left Reddit during the API debacle. I used to post my art on Instagram, but ever since the turn toward “influencers” took over, I’ve stopped posting there, too. I never got into TikTok or whatever else might be out there today.

I made a Bluesky account just before it took off in popularity last year, but I don’t use it except to look for pictures after protests. I made a Mastodon account, but have yet to post at all.

So yeah, Lemmy’s the one and only social media I post/comment to right now. Social media is exhausting, but Lemmy doesn’t blast ads at me, doesn’t bug me when I don’t post after a while, and its semi-anonymous nature means it’s easier to let things go when people disagree. Everything else is too stressful to deal with, especially after a long work day when all I really want to do is catch up with the news.

Crowds like this have been protesting for months. I saw similar images from various cities at the first 50501 protest. As another commenter posted, media simply hasn’t been covering them.

Please don’t confuse a lack of coverage for a lack of protests.

Oh snap, you’re me! I just wrote about having the same routine!

As to “sleep hygiene” stuff, I find that a lot of well-intentioned tools and advice simply don’t work for me. That’s why I value hearing what creative solutions the fellow members of my neurotribe come up with. It’s also validating to find that others ended up organically following the same routines as I do.

I switch to one of the numerous Wikipedia pages I seem to perpetually have open. I put the browser on a dark “reader” mode and read until I find myself unable to follow along, which is a signal that my brain’s ready to sleep. If I end up staying awake for a while, it’s not because of the phone keeping me up - it’s because my brain simply isn’t ready to sleep yet.

In fact, if I don’t have quiet time to read alone on my phone just before I fall asleep, it can make falling asleep even harder. The topic of the page gives me something to think about and redirect myself toward if my brain tries to wander. It’s not a perfect solution, but it helps often enough. This is especially true if I’m traveling. My brain’s more alert in unfamiliar places, and the farther I deviate from my typical routine, the harder it is to fall asleep. Sometimes those few minutes of reading are the only consistent thing day-to-day, and it’s a time I look forward to. It wouldn’t help me to take that away.

Ah, I see. I appreciate the clarification!

It definitely is not a left vs right thing. The context of my comment was simply “a response to the alt-right pipeline.” That’s the most that political alignment matters in this situation.

Is the advice in my comment wrong? I’m a woman who’s been watching the alt-right chew up and spit out boys for a while. My power to do anything about it is limited, because (if online) as soon as such a young man learns that I’m female, they have a ready-made reason to ignore everything I say. If in-person, they would dismiss me before I even speak. I do a lot of activism and speaking to build community and support local causes, but this is one arena that I can’t even enter. The nature of this issue invalidates me from the get-go.

What else can I do except encourage men to step up and do the activism that I wish I could do?

A leftist response to the alt-right pipeline starts with men. It would take a ton of emotional labor, but at-risk boys simply aren’t going to listen to women the way they will listen to men.

This brings a conundrum, as women are generally much more practiced at emotional labor than men are. They aren’t naturally better, they don’t choose to take it on, but they are conditioned to deal with it in a way that most men aren’t. That’s why women tend to have support networks that are there for them in times of difficulty, but many men don’t. Again, it’s not inherent nor a choice, but a complex result of society and circumstance.

Point is, if you’re a man and you’re waiting around for someone else to start lifting up men and boys, you’re going to be waiting a long time. As cliché as it is, you have to be the change you want to see in the world. Have some male friends you haven’t talked to in a while? Message them, ask them how they’ve been, and don’t be scared to get deep about things.

A support network starts with connecting two points, and if you don’t make the effort to build and maintain it, it’s not going to happen.

You got it. Sometimes the safest thing to do when somebody’s having hallucinations is to play along, and that means telling lots of lies. Sometimes people think their kids (who are well into their 60s) are still newborns, and they will have a panic attack because they don’t know where their “baby” is. I’ve reassured people that I “just set the baby down to nap” numerous times.

I’ve seen people treat dolls like real babies, too, and one time a lady rolled up to me in her wheelchair, asking to see a doctor because her baby (a doll with food smeared over its mouth) wasn’t eating. I even went so far as to get those “magic” doll bottle things that appear to “empty” when you tip them.

Point is, you’re right. But I don’t feel as conflicted about all the other lies I told, I guess the religion thing is just too … I dunno, “icky” for me? I’m an out atheist with pretty much everyone else. I don’t like having to go back into a closet.

When I worked in a nursing home, I was Christian.

I mean, I wasn’t. At all. But the dying little old ladies who sundowned so bad that they sometimes thought I was their grandchild? When they asked if I believed in Jesus, I’d bite my tongue and tell them yes. I hated having to lie to their faces, I hate even thinking about it all these years later, but some of them had nothing to look forward to except “going to heaven” by that point. Lying seemed the most ethical choice.

Hint: if it’s a thing that unions push for, don’t be surprised if it doesn’t exist in the U.S.

It’s not a coincidence at all, this place absolutely hates empowered workers.

I don’t know about that, I’ll be fine until someone with no comprehension of “right of way” nearly kills me. Those moments usually create a string of angry swears that would make a sailor proud.

I feel you. I have to keep reminding myself that a lot of my anxiety isn’t mine - it’s my mom’s. I just inherited the behaviors that she picked up, that in turn were created in reaction to my (long-gone) toxic grandfather’s abuse.

Generational trauma probably lurks behind all of us, deeprooted and insidious, propping up maladaptive behaviors that go unexamined simply because they are considered “normal” in our families.

My sapphic brain wasn’t tuned to understand that quote properly at first. Instead of seeing an insult, I thought, “Wow, that sounds like a busy, but amazing, morning.”

Lord of the Flies. Good thing they were caught, they were just about to murder a kid.

Funny, all the things you said that offended Reddit sound like reasons to celebrate having you here.

I worked at a hardware store that had hired security at the doors, to check receipts. One day, a customer was leaving when the theft detectors beeped. One of the security guards requested to see his receipt, but he ignored her. So she asked him a second time.

That customer kept walking out. He then complained to the security company that employed the security guard, claiming harassment.

Next day, that security guard was fired.

Which is how I learned that airports aren’t the only places that spend a ridiculous amount of money on pure security theater. Apparently the guards had been instructed to ask for a receipt once, and accept it if the customer ignores them, even if the alarms go off. I can understand not wanting someone to follow a customer out of the store, but that is a weak-ass bluff right there.

BONUS STORY! In that same store, someone was stealing tons of high-quality equipment. There was a guy who worked the lot, which meant that among other things, the outdoor trash bins were his responsibility. They were brought in during closing time, then back out the next morning.

Apparently this guy used that as his cover, over the course of several months, to sneak thousands of dollars worth of product out of the store. He knew where security cameras were (and weren’t), and he knew nobody would question him dragging trash bins around. So he hid items on the bottoms of the bins, covered the top with a trash bag, and brought them outside. He’d then move them to an area where the cameras couldn’t see and retrieve the items. Eventually loss prevention noticed something was fishy and caught him, but he’d gotten away with it for quite a while until then.

Reddit bans itself from my VPN, so I guess we had a mutual break-up.

I know it took pain to write that, and thankfully the original comment that inspired it has been removed, but I wanted to thank you for writing your piece. From start to finish, you nailed your point, and I feel personally vindicated by reading your words. I’ve had to make the same argument so many times, for so many people who can’t seem to comprehend that my differences aren’t deliberate choices. In fact, sometimes I don’t even realize I’m being “different.”

Anyway, I just wanted to let you know that your comment resonated with me strongly. I saved it for the next time I encounter this sort of situation, because you phrased things so perfectly that I don’t think I can improve on it. Thank you.

I used to have these cheap, waterproof light ball things, that could be either red, green, blue, or a slow transition between all three. They were designed for use in a pool, but I got them for my shower.

They were absolutely perfect. If I was having trouble sleeping and decided to take a shower (which sometimes help me sleep), I could keep my night vision intact by setting the light balls to red. They provided plenty of light for me.

I moved houses since then, however, and haven’t seen them in years. I’m going to have to look around pool toy sections soon, see if I can find something else like them.