so this one girl, i’ll call her ella (19f) is transphobic, homophobic

she lashes out a lot, exaggerates things, and cannot read social cues. however, she has autism and adhd and is mentally much younger.

she also gets mad when i call a trans man “he” and she says “SHE’S A GIRL EVEN THO SHE LOOKS LIKE A MAN LOL”

she says she got her views from her parents and refuses to change because “it’s the way i am”. for someone who was mentally 19, I’d cut contact, but she’s mentally a lot younger.

  • jeffw@lemmy.world
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    6 hours ago

    No. Autism is not a reason to be a bigot. Maybe the “lashes out” could be explained by sensory sensitivity (depending on the scenario and what you mean by “lashing out”), but that doesn’t excuse bigotry.

    Edit: also, what makes you say she is “mentally younger”? Autism and ADHD don’t stunt maturity in and of themselves

    • Lumidaub@feddit.org
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      5 hours ago

      There seems to be evidence that ADHD brains are a few years behind in development. I think I remember it being 3 years on average? Don’t quote me, I have ADHD and my brain shouldn’t be trusted with details. Anyway, that really shouldn’t result in the kind of behaviour OP is describing though.

      • Ledivin@lemmy.world
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        5 hours ago

        I think I remember it being 3 years on average?

        No chance in hell it’s linear, the gap would definitely change with age. But, as an adult with ADHD, I have certainly always felt a little younger than all of my peers… obviously anecdotal, but 🤷‍♂️

        • billwashere@lemmy.world
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          3 hours ago

          I’m 54 and have ADHD. It may ever regress. Well according to my wife who says I act like teenage boy sometimes … especially with the filter turned off.

        • Lumidaub@feddit.org
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          5 hours ago

          Yeah, I should’ve looked it up first, Russell Barkley says it’s 30% (I got a digit correct yay!). I know what you mean, all my classmates somehow seemed much more mature than me and I had no way to express that feeling back then.

          • KittenBiscuits@lemm.ee
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            5 hours ago

            Hm, I guess dealing with parental quirks tilted me the other way. I feel now like I want to be perpetually 20, but I had a chronically depressed single/divorced mom and an alcoholic dad (I’m pretty sure he was self medicating for his undiagnosed ADHD, and have come to terms with all that went on). So yeah, I parented my parents.