• MystikIncarnate@lemmy.ca
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    5 months ago

    sometimes people just ask if I didn’t sleep well last night if I don’t.

    I’ve heard this is a thing.

    I’m a dude, I never sleep well. Anytime I look in the mirror, I can certainly tell that I didn’t sleep well, but I’m almost never asked about it.

    I went for a sleep study earlier this year, I’m meeting with a doctor to discuss the findings in a couple of weeks. Hopefully I can get better sleep soon…

    Even with that being said, it would be nice if someone cared enough to ask about it. At the same time, I can also see that getting asked that question a bunch, regardless of how well you slept, would be pretty annoying.

    IDK. Everyone asks what I’m doing, never how I’m doing. It’s fine. I survive.

    • Flying Squid@lemmy.worldM
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      5 months ago

      I can certainly tell that I didn’t sleep well, but I’m almost never asked about it.

      But you’re probably also not told things like how you should smile more any time you don’t look cheery enough.

      Man’s appearance just gets criticized less than women’s appearance.

      • MystikIncarnate@lemmy.ca
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        5 months ago

        This is true but it also goes hand in hand with men’s health being an equivalent level of disregarded.

        Unless your obviously physically injured, your problems are simply not important to people. Emotional distress, mental health, and pretty much any discomfort/pain/feeling that isn’t associated with a physical injury is generally bushed off and anyone who tries to be heard about it, generally gets ridiculed by their peers.

        Obviously family/friends can be an exception to this rule, but co-workers and acquaintances generally just tell you to stop whining and get back to work.

        It’s a trade off. People who present as female generally get too much of people’s attention to their personal situation, while those presenting as male get far too little.

        There are obvious problems with both; for men, issues can be ignored to the point where you are actively being harmed by inaction, meanwhile, people always and overly concerning themselves with the well-being of women, can be equally harmful. Most of the time it’s the same kind of harm, usually both mental and physical, but it varies from case to case, regardless of gender.

        I’m not saying any of it is right, at all, nor am I endorsing any of it. I just want people to care about others equally regardless of how they present themselves, their gender, or what’s in their pants, but don’t concern yourself with others so much that you’re actively doing them harm either.