I was allowed sugar, but it was cut way back. For example: my parents would take a box of lucky charms for the appeal, then cut it with a Costco size box of Cheerios. Shitload of Cheerios in a bowl, one sad marshmallow. When I got to college and they had bins of Cinnamon Toast Crunch, etc., I went to town and got hit with what I call the Freshman 40. No diabetes, thank god, but my upbringing’s food control fucked me up and continues to do so.
Eau de C. Diff
We need a national alert to go out. I won’t even mind being woken up for it.
An academic pissing contest to name it. I’m not kidding. Cosmodernism, metamodernism, transmodernism, remodernism, etc., they’re all trying to make these stick. It’s always a reaction to, but partial furthering-of, the movement that came before it. So if at its simplest modernism is “oh my god we’re fucked, how do we make sense of it” and postmodernism is “oh my god we’re fucked, let’s have fun with it,” I think we will see a desire to return to order and sincerity, but with, as I would be inclined to agree with Alan Kirby, a shallowness resulting from technological progress and the “brainrot” mediums (so to speak) that we’re increasingly immersed in. He throws “pseudo-modernism” in the ring as a contender.
Bonus comic
The endnotes are the best part, honestly.
MBAs
Ever been to a mail counter in a southern state? It is brutal
I knew a guy whose dad was a high-up at a well-known snack company. We got some rotations of experimental beef jerky.
“I looked at my lunch and said, hey, if I wanted to get bossed around like that, I’d ask my wife!”
Banana for scale
I have a friend who was a card dealer.
Most places won’t take higher than a $20, so on the rarest occasions that I do carry cash, that’s it. Trivia: $50s are considered bad luck in Vegas, so don’t be handing those out.
Get a one-on-one trainer, talk to your vet. Don’t take the internet’s advice beyond this point.
Extra crispy recipe.
I think the problem is that you went to Harvard. I get what you’re saying, but the non-elite don’t really care. We can’t afford international vacations and yacht clubs either. Don’t get me wrong, liberalism is its own disease, but you met it on a whole other level.
“Salt is making a comeback.”
—Mother in law, after a quadruple bypass.
I’ll toss in a voice menu with no option for buttons and mashing zero doesn’t get you a rep.
“You Spin Me Round (Like A Record).” You know exactly what it’s from you degenerates.
I recently came around on non-seafood sushi (sweet potato tempura rolls). I eat seafood once a year in good faith — all types, over the years — and it’s always a hard no, and I had just lumped sushi into that category. But I honestly didn’t know there were veggie sushi options until this past year, so I gave it a try and loved it.