He was in a tough situation. We need to remember the extent of right wing vitriol and hate. Anyone who speaks out against Trump gets death threats. Their concerts would have had protestors outside. Continuing the tour could have been a safety risk for their fans. I’m not saying cancelling everything was the right move, but it’s not as simple as “dick riding for Donald Trump.”

I went through an scientology phase (academic interest, not a follower) and have seen a ton of documentaries on the topic. This one is by far the best, and really just a well made documentary in general.

Wild Wild Country

A bit overlong (typical for Netflix), but it has that irresistible “Surely this won’t get any crazier” thing going for it. It’s also a bit unique among cult documentaries in that the cult leader (technically second in command I think, but the de facto leader for a time) is interviewed and is remarkably candid about everything.

When I was in school the kids with the weird names were either picked on or they were super cool and popular. Their parents had no idea which one they were going to be when they chose the name.

Your friend has the benefit of knowing who she is already. If she knows she’s going rock it, then go Mildred.

So your solution is to give up and throw your vote away? I’m glad you didn’t want my respect because you didn’t get it.

A literal corpse being paraded around for four years like Weekend at Bernie’s would still be a better choice than Trump. He attempted a coup to invalidate the will of the people and maintain power, sent a mob to attack the Capitol building, and has been charged with 91 felony counts in four jurisdictions just for stuff he did while in office and as a candidate (convicted of 34 and counting).

But democracy died when an old man showed signs of being old? Not all that other stuff? Yeah, I’m voting for Biden. Easiest decision of my life. You should too.

Most probably wouldn’t have voted at all but that doesn’t change the math. In a US presidential election, voting third party and not voting at all are equivalent in every practical sense.

It absolutely is righteous indignation. You aren’t in the same situation as that guy and you aren’t being brave. Palestinians in Gaza will not be thanking you if Trump becomes president.

They aren’t both Hitler though. One is unquestionably worse than the other even if you only look at that single issue. One of them WILL be the next president whether you like it or not. You can have a say in who that will be, or you can go with righteous indignation and let the worse option win by default.

Are you sure we don’t understand it correctly? Trump won in 2016 in part due to the righteous indignation of people that refused to vote for Clinton. Third party spoiler candidates are not a new phenomenon.

Good for that guy. His beliefs were just and moral. He didn’t have any options though. Hitler and the Nazis were already in power.

You have an option. You’re acting like you’re brave just like this guy but I bet he wished more people voted for the candidate that wasn’t Hitler.

It’s about having your desires counted on the public record.

Get your desires on the public record in local and state elections and primaries where it might actually matter. For a US presidential election it’s an entirely empty gesture that makes you and only you feel better. No policies will change. No causes will be advanced. History will not remember you. It is very likely, however, that will make the lives of vulnerable people inside and outside of this country worse by giving trump a second term.

Do you understand why you are being demonized though? You’re making a choice that is purely symbolic just so you feel better, but real and vulnerable people across the country have to deal with the fallout.

You want to make a difference? Great! There’s a lot of ways to do that. Campaign and fundraise at the local and state level. Push for election reform, ranked choice voting, end to gerrymandering, term limits, electoral college reform, curtail lobbying… any number of things, and push for them more often than once every four years. Voting third party in a presidential election does NOT help.

If you want my respect, acknowledge the reality of the situation and vote for the best option (or the least bad option) among the viable candidates and then work for change within the system. It sucks that we are in this situation, but make a choice grounded in the real world, not a fake ideal world.

Fine. Your choice is three steps right (Biden) or five steps right (Trump). Not voting is also five steps right, but you get to feel smug about it. Thanks in advance for your help, I know you’ll make the right decision.

I never said Biden is great. I said Trump is unquestionably worse and that is still true. You can be mad about it. Be furious. But don’t let your righteous indignation be the reason we get four more years of trump.

The problem with your pedophile vs murderer analogy is that Biden and Trump are not equally bad. Trump is a drastically worse choice than Biden. It’s not even remotely close.

You can choose not to vote and try to wash your hands of the whole situation, but they will never be clean. If you don’t vote and Trump wins, that’s on your hands too.

So I have some experience with this and have a few things I want to tell you:

Consider a dedicated sleep study. If you have sleep apnea, medication will not fix your problem and some medications may actually make it worse.

Xanax (an anxiety medication) and Ambien (a sleep medication) are very similar drugs with respect to their mechanism of action. Xanax binds to a specific group of receptors to cause anxiolytic effects and happens to also make you sleepy. Ambien binds to a subset of those same receptors to make you sleepy, but don’t have the strong anxiety reducing effect. If Xanax works for you, Ambien should theoretically have a similar effect. In practice, it doesn’t tend to work as well because anxiety can keep you awake. If that has been your experience with Ambien, think about taking some steps to address anxiety even if you don’t think it’s that bad. Yoga, counseling, meditation, whatever. There are also guided breathing audio sessions designed to put you to sleep in apps like Fitbit and calm that may be helpful.

You can also supplement a prescription sleep aid with something non prescription, which is what I do. I take Ambien, and to keep my dose low I supplement with melatonin, tryptophan, and valerian root when I need an extra kick into sleepiness. I’ve heard CBD is also quite effective for this. Magnesium reportedly also helps with restful sleep, but get a sleep formulation because magnesium in the wrong form causes diarrhea.

Don’t underestimate sleep hygiene. For a long time I had the attitude of “I have real sleep problems, basic stuff like cutting back caffeine is not going to help.” The thing is, when taken together, that kind of stuff actually can help tremendously. I scheduled a month where I went hardcore on sleep hygiene. Strict caffeine limits, no late caffeine or exercise, don’t do anything on your bed but sleep and sex, wake up at the same early time every day even when you don’t have to, limit screens before, bed… I mean ALL of it. I found that it actually really helped. In combination with medication it might be a life saver. Might be worth doing your own experiment with it.

Good luck!

Incompatible taste in music. My taste is the benchmark they have to meet and I will not compromise, obviously.

Sleigh Bells - Treats

The Go! Team - Thunder, Lightning, Strike

Hooray For Earth - True Loves

Broken Social Scene - You Forgot It In People

Dayglow - Fuzzybrain

The Dismemberment Plan - Emergency & I

Not from a person. When I was younger I took an online personality test. Nothing from a reputable source, just some random pop psychology thing. The result was short and had a few things on it, but one line hit me like a ton of bricks: “You don’t like people who aren’t as smart as you.”

I was incredulous at first, but the more I thought about it the more I realized it was probably true at some level. I was pretty horrified by this realization, and I ended up thinking about it a lot and doing a ton of introspection. I knew I was smart, but I started acknowledging that there were also a ton of things I was terrible at. Whenever I had intrusive thoughts about a person I thought wasn’t very smart, I tried to think about things they were good at or at least acknowledge privileges I had that they didn’t.

We are a product of our experiences, and different people have different skills and aptitudes for things. All of that is ok and doesn’t make someone better than anyone else. I’m not perfect at it, but I found some value in confronting uncomfortable truths about myself.

This is a weird one, but I’m going to say Thunder, Lightning, Strike by The Go! Team. It has the vibe of kids playing on a playground in the 80s and 90s. Like, double Dutch jump rope, neon colors, excited chatter… Pure, innocent joy. It isn’t actually about any of those things, but the way the band uses samples, lots of trumpet (the most triumphant instrument), and the sung/rapped/chanted/cheered vocals really make it feel like that. It’s not experimental though, these are catchy, banger pop songs. One of my favorite albums of all time.