Allsorts, we call em. They taste of chalk and disappointment.

That Mariah Carey one. You know the one.

Oh fuck you’re right. How do I never notice this?

The Ice Pirates.

Ron Perlman and one of the funniest fight scenes from the 80s.

I keep my phone in my pocket, and stuff will always end up rubbing against it. I plan on either reselling or giving this phone away in the future, so in keeping it as mint as possible.

There’s already a few noticeable scratches on the protector (S25 Ultra) so while it’s a tough phone, it replaced a Pixel 5 which had a pristine front glass after I was done with it.

Keeping to the car analogies, they’re like floormats. Not needed, but good to have.

Please, please let me be in a position to do this soon.

Case and screen protector. This phone cost me over a grand, and you only need to drop it once.

Would you drive a car without a seatbelt?

Those are the actions of someone who has dealt with The Public

A bloke at work wears a Technoblade shirt all the time, he lives on

Goddamnit I even did the voice on my head as I read your post. Well done

I’d lean more towards the stray.

Our fatass tuxie ran out the front door on a whim one night to go have an adventure. He never goes out at night.

Came back 20 minutes later with one of his claws bleeding. It appears as though he got spooked by something and tried to run up a tree but forgot to retract his claws well enough.

Oh, I dont even need to worry. JBL already do these and I haven’t touched an Apple product since the iPhone 4.

beckons her over with a come hither gesture “If I can make you come with just one finger, imagine what I could do with two.”

Kickflip

Karmastition by Alicia Keys.

Stevie Wonder’s original was awesome, but the mash up is just chefs kiss.

Her grandma sounds cool. I’d have a beer with her

If this ever got released, it would probably require constant phoning home and cost $400. Separately.

Other drivers cannot read minds, so use the blinker.

Its why it’s there in the first place.

And then the car clapped