I’d lean more towards the stray.

Our fatass tuxie ran out the front door on a whim one night to go have an adventure. He never goes out at night.

Came back 20 minutes later with one of his claws bleeding. It appears as though he got spooked by something and tried to run up a tree but forgot to retract his claws well enough.

Oh, I dont even need to worry. JBL already do these and I haven’t touched an Apple product since the iPhone 4.

beckons her over with a come hither gesture “If I can make you come with just one finger, imagine what I could do with two.”

Kickflip

Karmastition by Alicia Keys.

Stevie Wonder’s original was awesome, but the mash up is just chefs kiss.

Her grandma sounds cool. I’d have a beer with her

If this ever got released, it would probably require constant phoning home and cost $400. Separately.

Other drivers cannot read minds, so use the blinker.

Its why it’s there in the first place.

And then the car clapped

Looks like one of his book covers

Not out of a USB-A it ain’t !

I just lost the Game again.

Nope, it’s an oligarchy pretending it’s a democracy.

My brain confusedly decided to read it as “have your license and/or face revoked”. Which I guess a fighter jet would likely be capable of!

You answered your question with the 4th word!

Came here to say this. Love that movie!

He wants it to be America’s WeChat.

Hey bro, how your organs doing

You don’t understand, she’s my emotional support hooker