Are you sure it’s not because your old ones have been washed numerous times?

He was never the same after he exploded that bird.

MAGA

Kate McKinnon’s abduction sketches are pretty stellar.

Dr. Robotnik

This is why hippos kill people.

The dude on the ride is the only one of them with any balls at all. It’s a carnival ride that 12-year-olds go on.

What a bunch of wimps.

Greed.

Keith Richards’ senior class photo.

Uhhh… Go Seahawks?

I’d say that you’re best bet is to go the “Darmok and Jalad at Tanagra” route.

Very briefly, after the CEO of United Health was killed, insurance companies were accepting claims they otherwise would have rejected.

Erotic is when everyone involved in the scene is in full consent of all the actions happening. Vulgar is the moment one person decides that they are no longer comfortable with the actions happening yet the scene continues anyway.

The guy who stares at a goat

Sign them up for absolutely everything you can that asks for a mailing address, email, phone number, and any other info you have for them. Use their info to donate to every cause you can find that they would be opposed to, then let the USPS take it from there.

Waiting for the time AI tells you that you’re fern has chlamydia.