I really don’t know what’s going on with me. I was laid off rather suddenly and unexpectedly. I spent the next 5 months looking for a job. I spent the day searching for jobs and networking and applying, then taking weekends off. Additionally, I’m already diagnosed with anxiety and take meds. It’s semi controlled.
I’ve had a job for 3 months now. (So it’s 8 months since I was laid off.) I’m completely drained by the time I get home and NOTHING is fun. I’ve quit all my hobbies. I want tot WANT my hobbies, but I just don’t. I want to just lay down and do nothing. I think I should be back to where I was before the layoff. My previous jobs never drained me this much. This job isn’t that far off from my last job.
Can it take months to get over being laid off or could there be something else going on?
First of all: As a healthcare professional but not your healthcare professional: What you describe has strong signs of a depressive phase and you should first and foremost seek professional help - don’t trust the internet on this and more importantly don’t start to self treat yourself in any way besides behaviour based measures.
Secondly: It can take ages. I’ve been there. Especially when your new job is similar to the old one it is quite difficult, as you “in theory” know what to do but in reality you still have to find your place in the new company. It will take time. But it will get better.
Yes. You are valid and your experience is within the realm of norman
Praise be the norman
probably you were laid of suddenly without warning, and then spent 5 months of job searching. you dint have really time to reflect or process the sudden change, also you were in constant working mode with no rest, job search in itself is mentally exhausting if it goes on too long.
as we are not doctors, it would be unwise to give a “depression” sign, but you should seek a doctor/therapist if your symptoms dont go away.
Yah know, I got laid off in 2014 and it still hurts a little.
Yes. You got laid off unexpectedly. Now you have more cognitive load knowing that your job can just disappear. Go easy on yourself. It’ll get better with time. Talk therapy is also a possible way to speed things up a bit.
I don’t want to put forth this as a diagnosis of your particular situation, but as someone who’s been through similar work situations (being made redundant from what I though of as a reasonably secure position through no fault of my own), I want to ask if you think it could be the speed at which you were summarily fired and then the difficulty finding a new job in today’s economy that was a shock to your previous sense of security?
If, like me, possibly now you realize that it can all just be suddenly taken away from you. You might feel on-edge constantly.
Being constantly wary and worried all the time can be quite draining and leave you exhausted. Especially if this new job is better than the old one. Trying to be always on-guard to make sure you don’t do anything that could upset this new utopia and lose it all could be wearing you down.
It might just be that it’ll take you a while to start to feel secure again in your new position, where you begin to feel like you’re a valued member of the team and that you won’t be the first to go if there’s something you do wrong. To start to let your guard down.
A lot of regaining some sense of job security would involve seeing how the new company deals with other people who work there, do they give second chances, how much do they work with the other employees to resolve situations, what kind or relationships you build with your bosses etc.
Anyhow, something to think about.
I got laid off a few years ago, it also took me 5 months to land a new job. I’m better a couple years later but the first year was a bit scary.
This is very likely depression. Go see a specialist. This will unlikely go away by itself.
To be fair, research shows depression does often go away by itself- it just typically takes like 3× longer to do so than with professional help
I appreciate your response, but I don’t competely agree. A meta analysis from 2022 shows that the remission rate of untreated depression within 3 months is only 8 to 18% (source: https://pubmed.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/34583099/), so I would still say that it is unlikely that you will do better in the short term if you don’t seek treatment.
You’re talking to TherapyGary right now, show some manners.
A lot of people said depression, but instead I want to focus on something else.
For your new job, you talked about how the work is similar, but how do you feel about your new job? Do you have a similar friend network of coworkers? How is your boss compared to your last one? Is the company culture the same or different. I ask because there are a lot of intangibles to a job that may not seem obvious, and the new job may not be as tuned for you as the last one.
Regarding fatigue and lack of desire currently, did you feel these feelings when you were unemployed? Were you working on a limited amount of energy before going to work? Were there cases where you would feel this loss of energy while out of work and looking for a job?
You are focusing on being unemployed, but the issue may be the new job.
The new job is actually much better than the old job in many little ways like coworkers and mentorship and purpose. I honestly don’t think it’s that.
I didn’t do my hobbies much when I was laid off either. I thought I’d be overjoyed since I had more time. Nope. I did them less.
I always used to find the first month in a new job tiring just from the stimulation…
I think you’re asking the wrong question. It can take months, years, hell even a whole lifetime to get over something like that. Or maybe you’ll never get over it!
The question you should be asking isn’t “is feeling this way normal,” it’s “what can I do to approach this healthier?” It’s not about what’s normal or understandable, it’s about what you can do with your own autonomy to improve your condition.
And on that, personally I would start by finding and speaking with a counselor who can help you process your thoughts, feelings, and emotions to achieve a sense of clarity and empower yourself to confident decisions moving forward.
Yes.
And I see that you asked a different question in your post, too.
Yes to that, too.
The comments about seeing a doctor for depression are coming from a caring place, but the reality of being without work for a while means it’s hard to afford seeing a doctor.
Chemical depression is not exactly something you can work yourself through, there are some people who claim magic mushrooms can help, but I’ve not seen any conclusive studies.
Magic mushrooms (or any psychedelic drug) taken in the wrong state of mind are dangerous! Pervasive negativity in your thoughts can easily lead to a very bad trip, which I can only imagine would increase depression, possibly even lead to worse psychological issues. Now, from what I’ve been told, mushrooms are not as dangerous as say LSD, but they induce a significantly altered state of mind nonetheless. So that’s a very tricky thing to try to study, I’m sure!
If you do not have a friend who is familiar with their effects to give you advice and otherwise help you out, I would NOT recommend any psychedelic. Even if you’re not suffering depression or other debilitating mental/emotional issues.
Good answer. Doc is the best answer but may be financially difficult. Some jobs offer EAP (employee assistance program) - it only gets you 3 free visits, but it is a start. Do some reading on depression. Try to find a reason to get outside each day - even if you start with a 5 minute walk and add a bit every day or two. Is there something or someone you can help? Sometimes you’ll do for others what you won’t do for yourself - a walk for the dog, a healthy meal for a spouse, …
How much did the job search burn you out?
The last time I jumped jobs, I was absolutely exhausted from the old job. The new job was perfect, but took another year before I didn’t feel exhaused 24x7.
A year to feel not exhausted? Wow.
Bro, you may just hate your new job or the people there?
I’ll add another voice to the choir: yes, something else is going on. Before you get a breakdown, do look for a good therapist and most importantly do take a look at what really matters to you. If you are not doing something that really matters to you (this need not necessarily be your job), depression will come