So long story but I grew up in kinda a toxic environment, my father was the only sane person but he worked far away as an expat, and this made my mother irritated a lot as well, especially because of the nature of society we started living in, I really love her but she is kinda the standard conservative type so we don’t really have any meaningful interactions anymore, and most of my teachers were crappy as well, so I kinda got a bit insecure and shy overtime.
Fast forward after COVID and all of my old friends had left me, so I was alone for pretty much half a year, and then made some toxic friends out of desperation, which are still with me today.
Anyway after completing my junior high I worked a lot on my personality during my senior high school year 1 (this year), I started to try to put myself out in the world more (even though I normally hate unwanted social interactions), learning an instrument, going to the gym, I was always only met with criticism with my mother and my ‘friends’ (partly because I started taking them less and less seriously, which made them think I was ‘selfish’), but I pushed on, and I think at this point, I am satisfied with how I am as a person.
However there was one person that I think played passive role in all of this, my class teacher, this was really the second time ever I got a decent class teacher, but I wasn’t really worried because I also developed kind of a ‘fuck all’ attitude at this point, but halfway through the year I noticed more and more that it seemed like she was the only one keeping tabs on me and actually encouraging whenever I tried to start some sort of extra-circular activity in my school, she listened to my problems and helped me come to solution(s), encouraged/helped me to get stronger in my weak subject (which was taught by her), asked me when l was absent from an event I participated in and at this point, I think I have kinda developed a sense of respect for her.
I know there might be some sort of romantic reason as well or maybe a ‘crush’ but to be honest I never really felt that way the way I have ever felt about my crushes, instead of being awkward, I was comfortable (idk how much of that maybe to more confidence), and I never really had any sort of confession or any weird dreams like that, I just felt that there was finally a person who seemed like they would understand me (I know this a really immature part on my side, but can’t seem to help it)
Today was my last day in school for this session, and I have been feeling kinda heavy hearted ever since I came back from school, I still have a year left, but who knows what kind of Class Teacher I may get next year, it might be another narcissist a-hole and I really don’t want to say goodbye
Life at your age is hard. Keep your head pointed in the direction you want to go. If your friends don’t like it, let them go. They might find their way back when more time has passed but you will for sure find new friends.
Tell that teacher what they have meant to you, even if its just a card with a hand written note or something. They will never forget and you might be surprised how small the world is as you get older. Paths cross many times on our journey. That teacher might also be a good reference for you on your first attempt at a professional career.
Tbh she is a reference on how a person should be, I don’t need to tell how wild high school kids can be, but the amount of patience shown was out of this world, flaws exist but then again, who doesn’t have one? And I am pretty sure a lot of students toned down their aggression just due to pure respect
I had a teacher like that. I will never forget the lessons she gave me and I am almost 50 now. She had a hard life and after I was graduated her brother killed his family in way that made national news. I always thought she deserved better. You never know what will happen in life. Don’t waste the opportunity to tell people who have a special place in your heart how you feel. Sometimes there is no tomorrow.