Ill start:
“Me cago en tus muertos” - ill shit all over your dead relatives. Spanish.
German: “Dich soll der Blitz beim Scheißen treffen” - Lightning shall strike you while you’re taking a shit
Best insult ever, imo.
Heard one: Your mother has a penis and your father is jealous of it.
German: “Du Lappen”
Translates to “You rag”, pretty much calling someone a loser or idiot.
“Ge zijt a foorwijf”
You are a fair bitch. People working the carnival / fair scene don’t have the best of reputation. In Belgium we had a song about this phenomenon and the real fair people were all kinds of angry about the stereotype. The thing is about stereotypes: it really has a base in reality.
Greetings from Poland.
“bambaryła” - someone who is very silly. Also: someone who is very fat. A little old-fashioned.
Here are a few Austrian ones:
“Häferl” (Cup): someone with anger management issues
“Du rüttelst am Watschenbaum” (You are shaking the slap tree): I’m close to deliver the fruit of said tree to you.
“Ohrwaschlkaktus” (Ear cactus): Someone with large, protruding ears
“Saubauch” (Hog belly): A way of telling someone that they are fat and dumb at the same time. But in a nice way.
That’s not exact:
- Me cago en tus muertos = I shit on your ancestors / I shit on your dead relatives.
- Me cago en todos tus muertos = I shit on all of your ancestors / I shit on all of your dead relatives.
And in the theme of insults from Spain, a loaded one is also: Me cago en tu puta madre = I shit on your fucking mother / I shit on your whore mother
See, the thing with “puta/puto” is that it literally means “whore”, but it’s used to empathize cursings just like “fucking” is used in english. We’re even misusing it by putting it before verbs, imitating it’s use in english.
Triangeljosti.
The Jostiband is a Dutch orchestra for people with a developmental disability, mainly people with down syndrome.
A [triangle](https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Triangle_(musical_instrument\)) , or triangel in Dutch, is possibly the simplest instrument you can think of.
So calling someone a ‘triangeljosti’ is basically comparing them to someone who plays the simplest possible instrument in a band for developmentally disabled people.
That’s so specific. lmao
This reminds me of the not-very-edifying-at-all moment when “joey” became a universal term of abuse in UK playgrounds.
I’m wheezing. Never heard it before but the image is livid in my head.
That just sounds like ableism
Well, yeah, it’s an insult so it’s not exactly meant to be flattering for either the insulted party or the person they are being compared to.
I mean, OP asked for insults. You should be prepared to see some you don’t like (which is the point of an insult after all).
Never heard that one being used, though.
It’s not super common but I do hear it on occasion.
Yiddish is not my native language but I think this one is so good it absolutely deserves a mention:
All of your teeth shall fall out except one that gives you a massive toothache.
Gea mor net af die Kondl. “Don’t step on my milk jug”. You’re annoying me and you better shut up or go away.
Konnsch mor in Buggl oirutschn. “You can slide down my back”. I don’t give a fuck.
German dialect from Tyrol.
If you want to say that you don’t care about something (as in: “I don’t give a fuck”), in Serbian you would say: “My dick hurts”. And that’s an expression you’ll hear almost daily. A less used variant of that, but still legit is: “My balls are beeping”.
While not insulting, I’ll throw in our way to say: “I’m/You’re fucked”. It’s: “Jebao sam/si ježa u leđa”, which means: “I/You fucked a hedgehog in the back”
Oh, I’ve several. Irish people love a good curse.
Go mbrise an diabhal do dhá chois May the devil break your legs
Go ndéana an diabhal dréimire do chnámh do dhroma May the devil make a ladder out of your spine
Go n-imí an droch aimsir leat That the bad weather leaves with you
Go n-ithe an cat thú is go n-ithe an diabhal an cat May the cat eat you and may the devil eat the cat
And my personal favourite: Lá breá ag do chairde, dod adhlacadh May your friends have a fine day, burying you
Brazilian portuguese tends to lack impactful phrases, but is full of single curse words. A big portion of them a clear example of how much negative bias there is culturally against certain groups (gay men, women in general, disabled), unfortunately :/
One that isn’t often used, but that I almost always laugh loud whenever I hear, is “Enfia uma dentadura no cu e sorria pro caralho”, which roughly translates into “Stick a denture up your asshole and smile at the dick”. For when simply saying “go fuck yourself” isn’t enough.
In Bulgaria we have the very creative insult „You’re as sharp as an edge on a round table”, which I find pretty amusing
Cartoon character Foghorn Leghorn, a caricature of an American southern gentleman, comes pretty close when he describes another character as “about as sharp as a bowling ball”
Wow so much lost in translation. I grew up with dubbed looney tunes, never knew he was supposed to be a gentleman let alone that it had a regional flavour. For me it was just a quirky rooster.
Băga-mi-aș pula-n coliva mă-tii de să-mi sară coaiele din bomboană-n bomboană
This is a highly niche one in my native language as well, as one must also know what is colivă - it’s basically a desert that we eat at funerals with m&m-sized candies in it as well. So it roughly translates let me stick my dick in your mother’s coliva so hard that my balls jump from candy to candy
That is elaborate, vulgar, and 100% delightful. I love hearing stuff like this. Cursing in American English is so boring lol
Does the insult mean the colivā is served at your mother’s funeral, or that it’s the colivā your mother made? Also in what kind of context you use this insult?
I’m not the OP but usage is dealer’s choice. It’s smooth jazz all the way down.
