I think I got a crush on my dance instructor. Which fucking sucks for all the obvious reasons. Normally I wouldn’t be so worried. BUT I JUST HAD A GODDAMN ROMANTIC DREAM ABOUT HER. Seriously I just woke up from a dream about her confessing her love to me and me eagerly doing the same about her.

So how do you stop a crush from developing further? Because this is a well from which only disappointment may be drawn.

Edit: I am single btw.

  • Usernameblankface@lemmy.world
    link
    fedilink
    arrow-up
    47
    ·
    edit-2
    10 months ago

    In my experience, get to know the person, as a person. I see the crush as a separate entity from myself. The crush sees them as some unrealistic ideal superhuman, which falls apart when I take time to find out who the actual person is.

    This assumes you have opportunities to casually chat without planning time specifically, or you can be in a regular part of group conversations.

    • throwawaysalami@lemmy.worldOP
      link
      fedilink
      arrow-up
      18
      ·
      10 months ago

      I see the crush as a separate entity from myself. The crush sees them as some unrealistic ideal superhuman, which falls apart when I take time to find out who the actual person is.

      That’s pretty damn well put.

      This assumes you have opportunities to casually chat without planning time specifically, or you can be in a regular part of group conversations.

      There is maybe a tiny window. But it’s worth a shot.

    • macattack@lemmy.world
      link
      fedilink
      arrow-up
      15
      ·
      10 months ago

      Isn’t getting to know someone better the exact same path you would take if you like them too?

      • BrianTheeBiscuiteer@lemmy.world
        link
        fedilink
        arrow-up
        3
        ·
        10 months ago

        Didn’t hear any compelling reasons as to why an actual relationship would be bad. Having a relationship with an authority figure (teacher, doctor, therapist, etc) is taboo and often illegal, but if there’s really a connection there it should be doable to change up schedules or find new instruction so there’s no conflict anymore. Most of my crushes though have been very superficial and a few conversations dispelled the fantasy.

    • Rai@lemmy.dbzer0.com
      link
      fedilink
      arrow-up
      6
      ·
      edit-2
      10 months ago

      I had a crush and had this like, idea* of who they might be.

      Got to know them more and more, and… they’re exactly the person my imagination fabricated.

      Anyway, we’re married and shit now. I wish the same for every person with a crush.