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Joined 3 years ago
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Cake day: June 19th, 2023

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  • I mention it in another comment, but the one of mine I’m referencing was a clever way a woman gave me her number. I can think of a few other ways I’ve witnessed it. My partner does burlesque and recently got asked for her signature for the first time. A wink or blushing could work as a compliment about your attractiveness. Somebody letting down their guard around you could be a way of telling you they feel safe around you. Even better if it’s a cat. Going for seconds of your cooking. For me, there’s a certain reaction when I throw somebody at the dojo that means: nice one! One of my friends gives rocks. Etc etc.




  • I’m a guy so they all get put on the core memory shelf. Three from the top row:

    Recently went to Japan to participate in an international gathering. Part of that was people doing short demos, maybe 5 techniques unplanned. Once I got back to the US, I spoke about it with my teacher who had also attended. He said, “Proud isn’t the right word but” and I understood that to mean the result of his instruction and my efforts over the past 20 years had been gratifying.

    The other two both had to do with getting hit on and neither was a direct one.

    First was when I was chatting with a woman while we were waiting for baggage at the airport. Once she got hers, she came back to me to say bye and ripped off the tag that had been attached to her bag and gave it to me. It had her phone number on it.

    Second was a simple exchange: “Are you single?” “Nope.” “Are you available?”




  • That there are decent people doesn’t change that a few that aren’t can asymmetrically harm others. With disease, intention doesn’t even have to enter the equation. COVID wasn’t just hoarding, but causing death. Millions of people. I’m not talking about toilet paper.

    With guns and mass shootings a thousand people being good doesn’t stop the shooter. Even in smaller environments completely separated from systemic forces, bad behavior exists. I’ve known too many people that have been abused or assaulted. You probably do, too, even if you aren’t aware.

    That bad behavior is used as an excuse to exercise power is one thing, but to minimize it to the point of ignoring it is a position that lacks nuance. Anyway, won’t be responding further. We won’t convince each other, especially not with the kind of arguments you’ve presented.