turtlesareneat

And if it’s Apple TV, F1 the Movie is probably still being promoted in #1 spot, because fuck your individual interests

That shit’s handy cause you don’t have to wait hours and hours for a surgery to finish, you can go do other things. But also my POS husband went and did meth and had sex with some guy while I was on the table. So yeah it’s not going great here. What were we talking about?

They were protests until we let giant corporate sponsors take over, suddenly they were entertainment events with huge budgets to get the best performers. A circus. We shouldn’t need to fly in Gloria Estefan to flood the streets with our people for a day.

Our culture is worth preserving. Corporations ain’t gonna do that. We do that. Grassroots. Pride is supposed to be grassroots. Trump did us a favor in this one way, showed us how rainbow-washed “integration” is as worthless as the ad circulars they’re printed on. What matters is if you have rights, and you get those by showing up for the fight. Get involved this year. Make them afraid to take our rights away. That’s the real heart of Pride.

“Yeah, you DID get hotter since the last drink, go make your move”

They’re regulation beer pong size, so we used a lot of them.

Scrape that wax

The media has been hyping the shit out of how bad gas prices are, when they’ve not really gotten bad yet, but wait as we run out of strategic reserve.

Back when a $20 could get you a carton of premium brand, tax included, all my friends had multiple cartons in their trunks. Even then sometimes they’d get crazy and drive across the state line to get them for $14/carton, buying a few cases and bringing them back.

Cartons now at or above $100/carton.

But that’s mostly excise tax, not the manufacturer taking a bigger cut. We want people to smoke less, because it costs us less as a society (in money and misery) so we force the price of cigarettes up, and sure enough it works.

Go through all the male lineage and then show up at the family reunion as everyone’s guest.

Wait need to know if OP is a male, female, or intergenerational demon bent on enriching the family but keeping all who would love them at bay through a terrible curse

Come to heart attack alley and find out

The day I pulled up to a campsite and saw a tent with a hole cut in the bottom so they could fit an A/C through. Who wants to listen to that all night?

Guy riding a fucking bike into it, the old pool somehow lasted through that attack

Ooh now do injectable bone glue so I can give myself a fusion every few years

Nature is healing

Alas they just spray uber-fucking-grade defoliant and destroy all the plant life that was there to begin with.

Smart move on his part is to die as close to inauguration day as possible, but not beyond it.

A cake that looks like a baked potato, a cracked meringue dusted in cocoa, and a frozen banana slice. 3/10 plating

She was dirty, she’d definitely chuckle at least.

There’s a different one for stoners.

1. What?
2. Man.
3. Come on man.
4. Not cool.
5. Dude, what the fuck
6. Major vibe clash, you should chill with your other friends today.