Taking it a step further, I wonder how many people I caused to go on to hate humanity because of something I wrote online

alias rm="rm -rf";
alias cd="rm ~/Desktop; cd";
pyhton="shutdown now"

I normally don’t read usernames, so I got fucking brain fried trying to figure out what a Finjamin is

Like, it looks like a word I should remember but it isn’t even a word

I whiteknuckle through it and I’m pretty sure it’s killing me

There’s no way I’m reaching 50 without a stroke or a heart attack

It’s like trying to swim upstream while almost drowning all the time

Life is hard.

Bomb sniffing dogs don’t become explosive after a few successful shifts, for similar reasons.

You can absolutely do that.

But do be careful with kde-full if you’re running very old hardware. I’m talking about <4gb DDR3, CPUs from Obama’s first term etc.

I’m not saying KDE’s “bloated”; I am still in absolute shock at how light it is compared to Windows.

But if you are dealing with hardware that needs a daily lethal dose of donepezil, opt for kde-standard

(Difficult lesson I learned)

maybe op was doing it a lot

and/or the litter was plutonium or something

edit: I think the phrasing was intended to be hyperbolic

“honest to god that’s as far as I can go”

You have to retroactively do what I did and cripple your attention span to a point where if you see any piece of text longer than a few sentences, your brain just automatically skips past it

I’m high so I read a little too much into it

If you become nonconformist in any way, suddenly the bald eagle (US) kills you

fuck dude how much water do I have to drink for my mouth to stay wet

I’ve been admitted twice

At both facilities, other patients who required more ‘intensive care’ generally didn’t interact with the patients with more manageable symptoms. So I don’t have any really wild stories.

At worst, I’d hear screaming in the middle of the night. I’m a heavy sleeper, so it probably happened a lot more than I noticed.

I went in with the doctors knowing that I had a problem with illegal drugs (I admitted it), so I followed all the rules. (Possibly limiting my knowledge of any highly notable events)

Another dude, a few years older than me, had that same pre-condition, except the doctors had to burn a few piss tests to figure that out.

He knew where all the CCTV cameras and their blind spots were. Smuggled contraband and non-contraband via WhatsApp and fence-toss. Performed the role of “lookout” for patients seeking to indulge in intimate relations.

Like I said, I followed the rules, but I didn’t snitch, because that shit was entertaining.

Another patient was law enforcement. Let us know that officers who arrive to work drunk don’t really get into trouble because it’s so prevalent.

One nurse smoked secretly (in a CCTV blindspot)

That’s all I can recall for now.

I wanted to see my recommendations :{

Not rooted, or flashing a custom ROM, so I can’t delete the play store.

Also, my bank app wasn’t installing properly from Aurora. I don’t remember what the exact issue was, but it was too much of a hassle to figure out (or change banks)

But that second profile idea is smart

I should have done that

organic recommendations:

apps for which I already have F-Droid equivalents installed

sponsored recommendations:

WE HAVE DETERMINED BY YOUR DIGITAL FINGERPRINT THAN YOU ARE A GOONER. PLEASE DOWNLOAD LITERAL MALWARE:

Fortunately, I don’t think there’s a fraction of that specific kind of tension.

My guess is 40-50 years from now, people will probably just call it Gqeberha or some other more catchy nickname.

Come to think of it, I don’t hear about it as often as I probably should.

Government officials, the news and people in other professional contexts call it Gqeberha, frequently struggling with the click sound, even when a “k” sound will suffice.

Otherwise, I still hear people call it “P.E.”

“Port Elizabeth” was still kind of a mouthful

People I meet from the Eastern Cape just say they’re from “the Eastern Cape”, because unfortunately most people don’t know where Nxuba or Makhanda is.

Hell, a lot of people think Gqeberha/P.E. is the capital city of the Eastern Cape. (Bhisho is the capital)

Seeing Cape Town Stadium get renamed to DHL Stadium pissed me off so hard

This might sound silly, but going to that stadium, I felt an indescribable sense of community with everyone who showed up to support whatever artist/band/sports team was there . So many people, with a shared interest, in one place.

Since I live further out of Cape Town, I rarely get to experience that.

That piss yellow logo DHL logo everywhere ruined the experience so fucking much.

KINDLY REMEMBER YOUR GLOBAL CORPORATE OVERLORDS WHO ARE NOT SORRY FOR KEEPING TICKET PRICES HIGHER THAN THEY NEED TO BE. ALSO, FUCK YOU. REMEMBER TO GAMBLE.

That’s awful. I’m sorry the local resources available to you are horrific. I’m sorry I sound like a fucking robot. I’m treading lightly. I’m not an expert. I don’t know what you or people reading this may be going through.

If the crisis line is going to send a psychopath with a gun to your home, do not ring that line.

There are international resources available that don’t dispatch armed units to your exact location. I haven’t used any of them, so I can’t vouch for them.

There is no one size fits all solution for a crisis. As I understand it, the main goal is just to get the person in crisis talking to another human being. Apparently that helps a lot.

It doesn’t have to be a crisis line. It could just be someone who might care.

Please go well, friend. I truly hope you have brighter days ahead.

Depending on how serious you are:

Choose weed instead

Or the crisis line. You probably already know where to find it. Help is available. You do not have to suffer alone. I love you homie.

man, imagine getting blackout the first time and it ends up in the NYT

so fucked up what they did to this homie

News crew pronounced it that way on purpose with a straight face.

Pure dedication. How many takes did they need for that?