Smuuthbrane

Looks expensive to live in, it’s all costal.

This combobulates me.

This is why you buy dentures at the thrift store.

Puts the “explosive” in “explosive diarrhea”! 💥💩

It’s regular laxative but with industrial strength pop rocks in it.

“Alexa, shut the fuck up, you have no right to speak in my holy tongue.”

While I’d like to think the response to that would be interesting, it probably isn’t. Anyone want to try?

You know the person that microwaves fish for lunch? This is the opposite.

Stop posting badly 'shopped images.

If that hand is actually holding that cat I’ll eat the Lego.

Doesn’t mean they can’t be happy.

Have you ever seen an unhappy tractor? Because it didn’t get enough of this.

Or even just within them.

When anyone says “it gives you character” this is what they mean.

Elastigirl gets irradiated.

…SO many questions…

…that I will be keeping to myself.

Well, that place sure ain’t fucking Costco, that’s for damned sure.

I make a whiny, self-centered, vindictive son of a bitch lasagna, but it tastes good, just don’t bring up job searching or bicycle lanes and dinner won’t be weird.

PSA: “tyyy” - thanks, ya yella yutz.

Such language. Tsk.

Damn, 8 CMEs at the same time, better unplug the TV

I thought you needed bleach to get faded.