Does anyone want to hear my far cry 3 headcanon that the gun in the beginning was unloaded and vaas was just going to recruit whoever pulls the trigger?

No? Well too bad you already read it. It really sounds like something he’d do to me.

This one actually is kind of freaking me out.

If we remake the tower of babel with modern construction techniques I don’t think god could destroy it as easily.

You’re going to have to call the police, buddy.

Even our farts smell better when you don’t smoke.

I can’t hear you over my 100% lung capacity. I am breathing so good right now. You wouldn’t even believe.

It’s not a complex if it’s true.

Fucking everywhere legal in 2027? Maybe the future isn’t so dark after all.

Now people are going to think Italians are fascist. And Italians have never been fascist. 😠

ITT: People expecting the most basic of logic from a blue checkmark’s brain.

God has no hand in programming. He’s just as confused as us.

I’m gonna make my own god named A. Aaardvark.

But… you have one.

I could really use a toaster and a bath right now…

Bro. You were the one acting like everyone has something that plays dvds.

PENIS ORIGINAL

PENIS TRADITIONAL

PUT MY DICK IN THE BLENDER

CALL IT PENIS DYSFUNCTIONAL

I have a countertop dishwasher that has a giant window in the front. Wanna know what’s in there?

Bubble bath shower for the dishes. It looks fun.

Those don’t come with disc drives anymore unless you’re willing to pay extra.

The demon craves blood.

I would never hurt an alpaca.