The Bird

1 Samurai

1 First Date

I’ve always interpreted “Aged like milk” to mean something was fine when it was created, but turned to trash over time through no fault of it’s own.

My usual example is Ace Ventura: Pet Detective.

Groomer: “How can I help you?”

Mobster: “I need you to make me look like a good boy.”

The US spending money on public transportation is such a rarity that it makes it uplifting.

I love a soft rye for a turkey sandwich. Add in spicy brown mustard, dill pickles, lettuce, tomato, and maybe havarti or Swiss cheese…

Now I’m hungry.

I believe the common analogy is it’s like playing chess with a pigeon:

You know you’re smarter and do everything right, but they knock all the pieces over, shit on the board, then strut around like they won.

Yeah, I think that’s a new shape for them.

I’ve had this phone for years and I never set up my voicemail

Depends on how much you ride fakie

My story is the same all the way up until I eventually landed on Boost.

4chan is Chaotic Neutral.

Sometimes good, sometimes bad, always for the lulz.

Self-gaslighting. I don’t know if this is a superpower or a weakness…

until a coworker sabotaged it

They would have been buying me a new one. NEW. Not used. Yes, I know that’s next to impossible.

And I would tell everyone in the office about it until it happened.

It’s not on the second floor, it’s just got an extra high ceiling for proper suspension.

All you have to do is stay away from people that look pixelated

Boomhauer would speak Welsh, with a Scottish accent.

I mean, they’ve spent the last 3+ years being horny all the time and now they’re away from their parents and unsupervised…

It’s a sad thing your adventures have ended here…

In my retail years, we called those “Knucklebusters”