Thank you! You know what you need to do to make things work, and you’re not one of the people who think “North” = “The direction I’m facing”

Reading a map.

GPS is great & all, but I know people that if you put a paper map in front of them they’re still lost because they can’t correlate the map with reality.

Their other sister?

My neutral evil on a small partial loaf is basically rolling it until all the excess is tucked.

My local roads are shit, the SUV prevents me damaging my vehicle in all the potholes / construction zones.

I would totally rock a Slate, though.

Bang.

If there’s not a child crying by the end, did you really even drive the bumper cars?

The Council of Ricks is now suing you for copyright infringement.

The Purge begins in 3… 2… 1…

There are 2 types of pug owners:

• My precious baby is perfect and can do no wrong.

• You’re lucky I love you you ugly little shit.

Ibuprofen and an energy drink.

I had a Juno email before I had internet…

You could modem directly to their server to send/receive mail without any other connection.

Twas a simpler time.

Guess who’s back…

Cant even get something from Dollar (Twenty-Five) Tree

Available now if you subscribe to my highest Patreon tier!

What’s up, Doc?

The fact that it wasn’t a “reinstall Windows” level of virus is a win.

I take it the coke is to mix with the Jack, which is acceptable.

If you’re getting a bottle of Blanton’s for a mixed drink I’m going to punch you in the throat.

I’d enjoy my Epson Eco tank printer more if it wasn’t trying to constantly update firmware, apps, drivers, etc.

I’m not setting up faxing. Stop asking.

I work with the general public. I always go to work expecting the worst, so when I have a day that’s relatively normal I’m pleasantly surprised.