Let me tell you something

Don’t be too hard on yourself

Well yeah it’s mandarin, but in the show Mandarin is pretty exclusively used for very creative swear phrases, such as “The explosive diarrhea of an elephant”. Things that might be fun to learn to say…

See: https://fireflychinese.kevinsullivansite.net/

Zoe: swears in Chinese

Subtitle: “[SPEAKS GALACTIC LANGUAGE]”

FU, everyone knows that that’s a real language and probably a very juicy phrase that would be absolute golden to know for some other occasion!

^(PSA there exists a site with every phrase translated and explained)

And it’s working.

So many people believe that Covid was a way to scare us all indoors, so they could change batteries in all the birds.

That’s preposterous.

Birds use rechargeables, that’s why they’re always sitting on the power lines. Like, duh, wake up sheeple.

I once read a beautifully indisputable piece on how Jar Jar Binks is a highly skilled Sith Lord. It’s all a front!

As a recent divorcee: fuck this hurts.

More comedic than dramatic, and more “highly unlikely” than “dumb luck”, but this one time I fell while skiing. It happens, I was a reckless kid as many are.

But this? This was on a flat, broad, almost level stretch connecting two pistes, and me and my dad were basically just cruising along. I don’t know what, but something happened and I face planted, stopping instantly.

One ski out to the side, the other… vertical? Stuck into the piste at a right angle, all the way from the tip to the binding… without becoming detached from my boot. The mechanism worked fine, mind you, it just hadn’t disengaged. There was no gash in the snow, no entry mark, just hard packed piste with half a ski sticking out of it like so much sword in a stone.

I understand what you say about needing to render every frame, but it’s possible to use a very slow frame rate for the gif (eg. 1 frame every 2s).

Are they evil attack squirrels of death? If so, one should be plenty.

The special hell.

Even if it is eventually exposed as a hoax - that is, not as old as claimed or from a different or untrustworthy source - that works make the book no less of an impressive accomplishment and global mind fuck! 🤯 Whatever it really is, it’s a win.

She got eaten by a grue.

This seems to be the same version as the OpenBoard through the Play store, so… same?

I’m testing with the fastest model on a OnePlus 10 Pro, and speaking 3-4 words incurs a wait time of several seconds, way longer than simply typing them out would take.

Man, you are working really late.

Thank you for this (repeated) question! I will try some of these and collate my experiences.

• SwiftKey

Long-time fan, in spite of privacy concerns. My bar for comparing everything below.

• FUTO

First install, looks promising.

Indeed very customisable. What I don’t like is the (imho) far inferior swipe typing and the need to explicitly switch languages for the keyboard to use the appropriate dictionary. Also, I miss directional buttons for those single-character position adjustments (Futo only offers space-key swiping). Voice typing seems highlighted but I find it to be unbearably slow.

Verdict: will most likely uninstall again.

• OpenBoard

Installation somehow defaulted to “English (Australia)”, but no biggie.

Seems very customisable also, but lacks swipe typing (a deal beaker for me). Relies on the OS language (actually, keyboard) switcher and curiously lacks a shortcut to its settings (requiring the user to go so the rest through the Settings app (which, best-case, is a whopping 5 taps).

Verdict: privacy aside, cannot compete with SwiftKey for features and usability.

• Florisboard

Strainghtforward installation. Seems extremely customisable. No swiping nor autocomplete but both festures are clearly promised for a future release.

Verdict: apart from features promised in the future, thus seems an excellent keyboard.

• Heliboard

Straightforward installation. Language selection included a github redirect to manually download dictionary, which was semi nice.

Proper big-keyed numerical keyboard. Also extremely customisable. Space-key swiping even supports vertical movement.

Verdict: apart from lack of swipe typing, probably the best contender!

• Graffiti

Included because I friggin’ loved it back in the day. The (to my knowledge) only app offering graffiti input is badly broken and crashes immediately on modern Android versions. I remember it working quite well on earlier versions, but that was years ago.

Well then it’s good there are so many curves here…?

Yup, plus don’t get coworkers “just needing my screen for a quick thing”. Win win!

I’m just sad and it’s nobody’s responsibility but my own to cheer me up.