Fair warning, I’m not here to judge but take it from someone who spent a lot of time trying to consume the most outrageous internet content to desensitise themselves - it all catches up eventually.

Anyway, this is some of the stuff that comes to mind:

Botfly extractions

Teenage girl suicide (hanging in a tree - too young to die IMO)

Microwaving kittens

Toybox killer transcript and tapes (I don’t like torturing people who don’t deserve it)

People having sex with aborted foetuses

Brilliant. Well done.

I believe ‘types of sauerkraut’ was one of the categories.

I have it on good authority Weird Al hates sauerkraut.

How can it not be a lecture in disguise?

Do you know any well adjusted adults that don’t swear?

What a bore of a character premise.

Could it though?

This is a good one, filing it away for future children…

It’s fucking discriminatory in my opinion and it has always made me uncomfortable filling out the blood donation paperwork.

We can reliably screen for HIV (all blood donations are) why the fuck are homosexuals discriminated against over this.

They don’t want their lemmy post demonetised.

Best you can hope for on bumble is a ‘hey’ from the woman.

That’s all they ever need to say, because again, it’s stacked heavily in favour of women so when they send 100 ‘hey 👋🏼’ messages they get 95 replies that have to carry the entire conversation. It sucks but that’s the reality.

PSA: If you’re a guy on a dating site and you reply with just “hey” or something similar to a lady then you’ve fucked up.

You get one shot at a semi-witty reply that may get her to smile before your reply is buried under 100 other guys also vying for her attention.

Just quickly read her profile and make some kind of riff off of it with an open ended question.

“Hey blahblah I saw you liked The Office, I’m more of a fan of working from home myself.

Also, why’s everyone seem to be looking for Jim? Who’s that guy?”

The myth that you can go to jail and it’s free board and food is exactly that, a myth.

You’ll pay for it one way or another.

It’s peddled by conservatives who think that jail is some kind of walk in the park. Sure there are nicer prisons but it’s still prison. No one really prefers it to being out on the street.

• TJ = Real estate Agent
• Gretchen = IT
• Vince = High School Coach
• Gus = Accountant
• Spinelli = graphic Designer
• Mikey = Shop assistant/aspiring playwright

Hate to break it to you, you’ve been drinking water made from something’s shit for as long as you’ve been alive.

Models come in all shapes and sizes, you don’t have to be Calvin Klein level to get jobs.

Did someone call an ambulance for him? Because she straight up annihilated him.

Stop. I can only get so erect.

I don’t get it, is she saying you’re well endowed?

Because this is the internet and you can just say you’re packing a huge hog. No one will really know or care.

Ahhh they are inextricably linked to a previous partner and you’re expected to become a parental figure if the relationship goes anywhere serious.

Some people (like me) really don’t want an instant family.

I take my hat off to those who don’t have kids but date parents; they are better people than I.

The good ol Carolina Mop and Slop.

That’s not a euphemism.