I remember bringing a Polaroid picture of my 10" television screen into my English class just to prove to my best friend that the Hylian loach existed.

Shitposts can be funny. These ones never are.

As of a month or two ago, any time I see a post that’s so thoroughly unfunny that it brings down the average quality of all Lemmy posts, I don’t even need to check the community. It’s always this one. Why is that? What happened here? It didn’t used to be like this.

Peanut butter, jelly, bread.

But if I’m doing it healthy, then add eggs, spinach, blueberries, yogurt.

It’s been almost 25 years, and 9/11 jokes still aren’t funny.

The Circle of Life is the core tenet of an environmentalist death cult that rules the Pridelands. The hyenas are exiled to the outlands because they won’t conform to the Lions’ religious dogma.

I wanted to be a writer or maybe an artist. I figured I had to do something creative and big, because I could never picture myself doing a normal 9-5 with a wife and kids or whatever. I was smart, but I was a bad student and couldn’t force myself to put in the work.

Turns out it was just undiagnosed ADHD. Now I work as a systems analyst (Excel guy) with a wife and two kids. Later today or tomorrow it’ll be three kids.

I’m lucky. My job is interesting sometimes, but mostly it’s easy and I get to spend the important parts of my day being a dad, which it turns out I love.

Sometimes I draw for fun as a creative outlet. I’ve made a few webcomics. I’m working on a longer comic for my daughter featuring a character she made up called “Princess Super Speed Girl”.

Remember, it takes at least 45 minutes to caramelize an onion. Anything less and you’re just cooking it.

Except when the Adderall allows you to be mostly functional on three hours of sleep, effectively nullifying its effects on the ADHD but still enabling the bad habit of staying up all night.

I don’t recommend it, but it is one way to live.

I just really, really like being with them. They’re sweet, they’re so smart, and they love me. I want to hang out with them. I want them to come to the grocery store with me. I want to play games and have tickle fights and sing silly songs with them.

But my favorite thing is probably how funny they are. I write some of it down. Most of these happened when they were three.

“Did somebody draw us?”

“What do you mean?”

“Like before we were real. Did somebody draw us to make us real?”

My son sees numbers painted on the sidewalk and asks if they’re letters:

“ABCDEFG. Is that from that?”

“What if it was someone’s birthday when they already passed away? That would be sad. Then they wouldn’t be able to eat their cake.”

My wife helps my son to use the potty, and she takes off his jacket first:

“Mommy, did you forget where my penis is? Did you think it’s up here? It’s not. It’s down here.”

After I read my daughter Rikki Tikki Tavi, which features a snake named Nag:

Daughter: “Nag is tall. Nag is as long as you are tall.”

Wife: “Is he five feet long? I’m five feet tall” Daughter: “Snakes don’t have feet”

When searching for the opposite of “inside out”, instead of saying “right side in” my daughter called it “un-inside out”, which I think actually makes more sense.

“You need to behave.”

“Ok. I’m being have.”

Finishing a long conversation with the cat:

“Next time I’m going to teach you to say words.”

My third child will most likely be born this week, and the thing I’m looking forward to most is late night feedings. People complain about those and I can’t sympathize. I love them.

There’ll be a day when I’d give anything to go back and relive those moments, holding my baby at 2am, singing them to sleep. It’s a perfect moment.

I was never that big on the idea of kids before I had them. I deeply, deeply value my independence. But this is good too.

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Right. It’s provocative because incel shit is widely disliked. We’re saying the same thing.

Can you explain the joke?

To be even more specific, it’s a Mexican dessert made of sponge cake, soaked in a mixture of three milks. Wet cake may not sound appetizing, but it’s absolutely delicious.

Why are you defending incel shit?

Don’t take my comment so seriously.

• Pervasive sense of victimhood.

• Criticizing women. Not that women should be free from criticism, but take this exact same meme without the “what hypocrisy” at the end. Is it less funny? Is that adding anything other than pathos for incels reading it?

There’s also the comment section. At the time I commented, two of the ten top level comments were saying to insult the woman’s vagina, and they were both upvoted. That kind of masturbatory five-minutes-of-hate directed at a hypothetical woman is pure incel shit.

She’s not real. This didn’t happen. That means whatever emotional reaction they’re having was just inside them waiting to come out. Incel shit.

When I was a kid I’d get a new stuffed animal, and somewhere on the tag it would say, “Made from all new material”.

And for some reason I thought that meant the material had just been developed or discovered. Like they had a team of scientists in a lab working on a new type of polyester just so they could use it to make this shitty stuffed lemon that I won at a church carnival.

Thirty years later I realized it probably just meant the materials weren’t recycled.

Ugh. Ugh to this post, and ugh to the comment section.

I thought we left this incel shit behind on reddit.

Fiction.

My book store would not have a lot of sections.