Remember, it takes at least 45 minutes to caramelize an onion. Anything less and you’re just cooking it.

Except when the Adderall allows you to be mostly functional on three hours of sleep, effectively nullifying its effects on the ADHD but still enabling the bad habit of staying up all night.

I don’t recommend it, but it is one way to live.

I just really, really like being with them. They’re sweet, they’re so smart, and they love me. I want to hang out with them. I want them to come to the grocery store with me. I want to play games and have tickle fights and sing silly songs with them.

But my favorite thing is probably how funny they are. I write some of it down. Most of these happened when they were three.

“Did somebody draw us?”

“What do you mean?”

“Like before we were real. Did somebody draw us to make us real?”

My son sees numbers painted on the sidewalk and asks if they’re letters:

“ABCDEFG. Is that from that?”

“What if it was someone’s birthday when they already passed away? That would be sad. Then they wouldn’t be able to eat their cake.”

My wife helps my son to use the potty, and she takes off his jacket first:

“Mommy, did you forget where my penis is? Did you think it’s up here? It’s not. It’s down here.”

After I read my daughter Rikki Tikki Tavi, which features a snake named Nag:

Daughter: “Nag is tall. Nag is as long as you are tall.”

Wife: “Is he five feet long? I’m five feet tall” Daughter: “Snakes don’t have feet”

When searching for the opposite of “inside out”, instead of saying “right side in” my daughter called it “un-inside out”, which I think actually makes more sense.

“You need to behave.”

“Ok. I’m being have.”

Finishing a long conversation with the cat:

“Next time I’m going to teach you to say words.”

My third child will most likely be born this week, and the thing I’m looking forward to most is late night feedings. People complain about those and I can’t sympathize. I love them.

There’ll be a day when I’d give anything to go back and relive those moments, holding my baby at 2am, singing them to sleep. It’s a perfect moment.

I was never that big on the idea of kids before I had them. I deeply, deeply value my independence. But this is good too.

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Right. It’s provocative because incel shit is widely disliked. We’re saying the same thing.

Can you explain the joke?

To be even more specific, it’s a Mexican dessert made of sponge cake, soaked in a mixture of three milks. Wet cake may not sound appetizing, but it’s absolutely delicious.

Why are you defending incel shit?

Don’t take my comment so seriously.

• Pervasive sense of victimhood.

• Criticizing women. Not that women should be free from criticism, but take this exact same meme without the “what hypocrisy” at the end. Is it less funny? Is that adding anything other than pathos for incels reading it?

There’s also the comment section. At the time I commented, two of the ten top level comments were saying to insult the woman’s vagina, and they were both upvoted. That kind of masturbatory five-minutes-of-hate directed at a hypothetical woman is pure incel shit.

She’s not real. This didn’t happen. That means whatever emotional reaction they’re having was just inside them waiting to come out. Incel shit.

When I was a kid I’d get a new stuffed animal, and somewhere on the tag it would say, “Made from all new material”.

And for some reason I thought that meant the material had just been developed or discovered. Like they had a team of scientists in a lab working on a new type of polyester just so they could use it to make this shitty stuffed lemon that I won at a church carnival.

Thirty years later I realized it probably just meant the materials weren’t recycled.

Ugh. Ugh to this post, and ugh to the comment section.

I thought we left this incel shit behind on reddit.

Fiction.

My book store would not have a lot of sections.

I drew a comic of myself once that got turned into a meme. So I totally get how surreal it is to be scrolling through the front page of reddit and unexpectedly seeing a picture of yourself. Although mine was certainly under more pleasant circumstances.

In any case you seem to have a positive outlook on the whole thing, which is great.

Reminds me of this classic:

But one of the things Russian troll farms are paid to do is spread general anti-American sentiment. I’m not trying to explain away the comments; I’m describing a real thing that happens.

I appreciate your perspective.

I’ll do you one better and say that a lot of times it comes from chronically online Americans who got their opinion from said Europeans. And at least some of the time it’s from third world bots whose marching orders are to spread any and every kind of anti-American sentiment.

Lately I just prefer to put the opposing idea out into the aether rather than try to dig into a whole online argument… thing.

There are large sections of the US that don’t have consistent access to great food, so crappy fast food is what they get.

Then there are other parts of the US where the fast food is amazing. Also the other food.

I’ve played Magic against him a couple times. Great dude.

Fun fact: when birds have sex it’s called a cloacal kiss.