I’m a Satanist, but I fuck with based Jesus.

Hope y’all like avant garde blackened death jazz.

Bullshit, that’s some shwag. Hit me up, I got that cage free.

After hurricane Helene we didn’t have electricity for 6 days. But I’ve been completely powerless for 34 years.

Must be nice.

I can’t really provide much insight, but I was once contracted by a local Masonic lodge to install new windows. I had unsupervised access to pretty much any room that had a window in it, and I was even permitted to look around in the windowless chamber where they performed many of their rituals. They were actually pretty excited to show me around. I can’t imagine that they would allow a perfect stranger into their secret lair if they really had anything to hide. But, ya know, take what I say with a pinch of salt as it’s just one anecdote about one lodge in Nowhere, Ohio.

That erases any fun there is to be had. I want them to know it.

The language barrier mostly.

After surviving my Baptist upbringing, I became an atheistic Satanist. It started as an act of pure spiteful rebellion, but over time grew into something more. I am no longer a member of any Satanic organization, but I still walk the left hand path to this day.

It’s more likely than you’d think. My cat and my rats used to be inseparable.

Thank you, friend. I’m glad that your holiday season will be more complete!

I’m not excited about much. This will be my first Christmas since my wife and I separated, and I haven’t spoken with my own family for years, so it’s looking like I’ll be spending the better part of the holidays alone.

It just fucking is, kiddo.

Good for you, Bono. This fucker had it coming no matter how you slice it.

I’ve had a similar smile on my face all day.

This man is an agent of justice. The murderer is dead.

Let’s see some receipts, Columbo.

Autism is liking things.