• 0 Posts
  • 11 Comments
Joined 1 year ago
cake
Cake day: June 11th, 2023

help-circle

  • I think you give a fair explanation of Dave in this comment. I definitely think much of his “baby steps” needs to be updated. Just for example, $1000 in savings is just going to cause someone to get further into debt when an emergency comes up.

    I like the 20/30/50 rule for budgeting (20% saving, 30% fun and 50% needs). If you have bad debt (consumer debt, bad auto loan, etc), then minimize your fun spending the most you can in order to wipe out that bad debt as quickly as possible. But of course also save up at least on month of needs or your largest deductible (whichever is greater). Then once the bad debt is gone save up a 3-6 month emergency fund (according to your personal risk/comfort level).

    I also think it’s important to not be too hard on yourself. Some months you’ll be over budget and some months you will be under. That’s why I think it’s important, like you said, to leave some room in the budget and not get caught up in zero dollar budgeting.










  • I met my wife dating online. Before that it was brutal. Lots of ignored messages. Lots of messaging that just ended (often on the woman’s end, but sometimes on my end). And plenty of first dates.

    When I first started dating I wasn’t picky. Basically any girl interested in me, I’d show interest. Eventually I actually applied myself to dating with purpose. This helped a bit as I was often times being the one to make the decision whether or not to even meet up with a woman. I made sure they met my criteria and wanted the same things as I did. And doing this required that I was honest with myself. I didn’t want to party, I wanted children, I wanted someone who would challenge me and call me out on my bullshit, but I also needed someone who wasn’t overly sensitive as I am often quite blunt and speak without thinking.

    Basically I had to shift from wasting my time with anyone to getting right to the point and making sure our values and trajectories in life aligned. This filtered out a lot of women. Either immediately because we didn’t want the same things or because they were put off by my directness.