Knight jumps queen! Bishop jumps queen! Pawns jump queen!

Wait till you see what happens in chess.

“I have never met a person who can…”

Who the hell are Becquerel or the Curies!?

As a stupid American, I ate the egg whole… What now?

I think he said moose and squirrel!

I better be able to get a pu pu platter somewhere along the way…

What exactly is it that you do do?

The age of consent in Japan was only 13 up until 2023. In China, it’s still 14. South Korea’s was 13 up until 2020. That pretty much sums it up right there.

“What’s up, bloodbags? Thanks for tuning in so late! Well, it’s late where I am, if you know what I mean!”

Funny numbers

My thought has always been, “who the hell grabs a book like that?”

Sorry, but no, you forgot duration it took to void, stream color, taste, smell, accuracy, flow consistency, body hair grooming, presence and degree of curvature, and overall hygiene. We’ve gone ahead and shared your supplied data with our 1869 advertising and heathcare partners. Thank you for opting in! We will continue to collect data at all of our established locations and now through your personal cell phone! Have a nice day!

All of them are to probe for active numbers. Calls and texts. The best thing you can do is ignore them. For calls, don’t pick up, don’t hang up. Even ending the call early let’s them know your line is live.

Just ignore them and their system will mark your line as dead. I get maybe one or two calls a month now.

I just had to explain this to my coworker…

Jokes on them…

Proudly a dumbass bastard for like 15 years!

I laughed…

You laughed…

The mop bucket laughed…

I shot the mop bucket.

Good times!

And full of superheated gas just like…

But what if there’s bats? Bats typically aren’t on the floor!