Not OP, but also an annoying adolescent atheist. After actually giving it some thought, I realized I was contextualizing the concept all wrong. Just because most people seem to contextualize God as a Santa Claus figure (bearded man who lives above us and judges our conduct, with fitting consequences) didn’t mean I had to accept that context.
There have been many very intelligent people across history who had many interesting things to say about deity. Few of them were using the Santa Claus model.
I didn’t wear a trenchcoat. If I told you what I did instead, I’d probably doxx myself. It was cringe.