Yea, I read it. I’m not buying it.

I feel like this is just gift wrapping being a dumb racist hick in prettier paper. They are scared of cities because their full of black people, gays, and Mexicans. They like assholes who show the same level of hate as they do - who will keep the black people, gays, and Mexicans away. And they like someone who justifies hiding behind religion so they can tell themselves that God made them this dumb and rascist. So they can delude themselves into thinking they are really the good guy.

Nothing valuable, but I discovered a cache of Matchbox cars, coins, spoons, and small plastic toys all in a small spot in my yard when I first moved in. Seemed cool imaging the kids playing there years prior. Building tunnels in the dirt to drive their cars through and accidentally burying them for me to find later.

Just rewatched that as well. Some of my favorite parts:

• It’s set in 2021
• His brain implanted hard drive holds a whopping 80GB. He uses a “doubler” to increase his capacity to 160GB. The whole plot of the movie is that he loads 320GB in, which leaks into his brain, and he has to get it back out before it kills him.
• The encryption key to the data is photos of a tube television screen that have to be faxed to the recipient.
• One futuristic aspect to his hotel room is that the TV wakes him up with a personal message on screen and then he uses it for a video call.
• The local rebels are a group called the Low-Teks - led by Ice-T. They end up having the highest end tech.
• The best doctor around is Henry Rollins.

The fetish stuff is all created by people who can’t experience ASMR and just assume it’s what being horny feels like. Sad really.

What, you think I don’t have any friends? Sigh. You are mostly correct. But I have this one.

He’s been renting for years. He’s definitely moving. All clear.

This is going to be my new way to antagonize conservatives I know:

ME: Did you know Harris has had 5 kids with 3 different partners?!

MORON: I don’t doubt it. She’s a whore!

ME: Oh sorry, I meant Trump.

Guy on the team rage quits one day. Few days pass and HR goes to clean out his desk. Finds a paper bag full of syringes and a very graphic instruction manually on how to inject something into your dick.

Whatever it was, I guess it can’t wait until you’re at home to inject into your dong. It has to be at work.

Cherry on top was that HR policy was to box up all personal belongings left behind and have the ex-employee come pick them up. So, if he had forgotten these things were in his desk, he certainly remembered after he came back and they handed him the bag.

It’s not about diarrhea?!

The consultancy I used to work for in the late 90s would have crucified any developer that didn’t write “a data abstraction layer that allows you to pop off the original db and substitute a different one later”.

How many times in my 25 year career have I swapped out the database (and been thankful for such an abstraction layer)? 0 times.

Me and my little brother are riding in the car with our mom. I was 12 and my mom was teasing me about my first girlfriend. My little brother had met her, so my mom asks him “What do you think of Waldowal’s girlfriend?”.

That when my brother decides to break out a new phrase he’d learned: “Let’s just say, as long as I have a face, she’s got a place to sit!”

It needs to be a nobody. Frankly, probably an boring older white man, so people could picture them in the Pres seat if needed, but otherwise unremarkable. Keep the interest on Kamala.

Yes, you’re right, but I think Lemmy culture adds an unwritten “don’t be an overly aggressive asshole” on top of it. (Unless that’s also explicitly written)

The only unwritten rule I know of is “be civil”. I’ve yet to see those typical reddit replies of: “You’re wrong about everything and should die you fucking bag of cunt hammers!” (Except from the guy that will respond to this post with that exact phrase)

Well, more accurately, mass murders with guns do. I’m not saying we ban guns. But let’s not ignore half the issue. It’s mental health and easy access to weapons of mass murder. Some gun control makes sense. Doing something about mental health makes sense.

But you’ll never see a Republican vote for either. Government provided mental health programs? That’s communism! They are fine to let both problems run rampant.

Went down the rabbit hole on this guy a bit. He went on to participate in the CyberNinjas audit of Arizona’s ballots after the 2020 election. He claimed to have technology that could detect whether ballots had been folded in the mail, and claimed to detect bamboo in “fraudulent Chinese ballots”.

He was such a kook, the other kooks rejected him.

Come to Georgia. It’s close. We’re a swing state now. We could use your vote.

I’m jealous. How did you afford that?

Not the happy ending I was hoping for. Here’s how you should have ended it:

"Turns out, the guy she was cheating on my with gets fired from the college for inappropriate relations with students. Afterwards, he gets a job at my dad’s company as a corporate trainer - reporting to my dad! My dad knows who he is, but keeps it a secret for the next 8 years. All the while, he continuously passes the guy up for promotions, gives him the shitiest work to do, bad performance reviews every year, and generally makes his work life hell. It’s a small town though, so there is literally no where else for him to go.

Meanwhile, at home, my ex and the cheater are having trouble conceiving. Since they can’t afford the premium insurance at work, the fertility treatments they need are too expensive. They decide to keep trying instead of adopting, and eventuality the clock runs out. She’s 40 and it’s too dangerous to try and have kids at that point. They give up.

My dad finally decides to retire and the cheater thinks it’s his big chance to finally get promoted. Instead, my dad recommends hiring me as his replacement. They follow his recommendation. Day one, cheater confronts me about how angry he is and I fire him on the spot for insubordination.

He’s now out of work with no option. They can’t afford to relocate. So, my ex has to get a job. She has no skills or experience so she decides to work the local gentlemens club. However, at 40+, she’s not pulling in the tips, so she starts turning tricks for more money. To steer clear of the police, she starts bringing the Johns home for work. Cheater has to sit in the next room while he listens to her get plowed over and over by random dudes ever night. Every once in a while, he’ll hear through the wall one of the Johns ask “How’d you end up doing this?”. To which she replies, “My man just couldn’t keep his fucking mouth shut at work.”. It’s not too long after, on a night where she’s satisfying two dudes at once - one a local mechanic the cheater knew growing up, and the other the local youth pastor - that he decides to eat a bullet.

It’s been 3 years since then. My ex is still working, though with her age, she’s had to leave the local club locations and frequent the truck stops more. Every once in a while, I’ll stop for gas and meet eyes with her as she exits a truck on the other side of the parking lot. She never waves. She just stares. Then, she gets into the next truck."

Edit: Epilogue: Those cops died of dick cancer.

A more recent one I love is Selena Gomez - Good for You: “I’m on a farting carrot. I’m farting carrot.”

https://youtu.be/1TsVjvEkc4s

(First 2 lines of song)