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Joined 1 year ago
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Cake day: July 25th, 2023

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  • maybe I probably killed him

    You didn’t kill him, the cancer did. You were there supporting him.

    I was on morphine duty when my grandpa died two years ago and it was rough. I gained a massive respect for hospice workers and the mental fortitude they have in order to work in that environment.

    My grandpa had ptsd nightmares from the Korean War his whole life and my biggest fear was that while he was dying he’d be trapped in one of those. I drove myself crazy trying to interpret his twitches and mumbles as some sort of actionable message he was sending.

    I stepped outside for a bit and imagined what he would say if he were conscious, and I’m sure it would’ve been something like “Who cares if I’m having a nightmare? Even if I am it’s not your responsibility to fix it. I’ll just ride it out and it’ll be over.” And so I went back in and just sat there quietly, occasionally making remarks or observations, talking about what I might be doing in the next few weeks or months.

    I’m really glad your mom got to have that moment. Whether or not he heard her and was responding, I hope the timing gave her some peace.


  • Oooh, I like your alternative take a lot. The whole idea of the Bible being written as a result of “hearing the voice of God” or being divinely inspired is always a fun topic because it’s impossible to define.

    Evidently when John Nash (https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/John_Forbes_Nash_Jr.) was asked how a logical and smart person like him could believe that he was being recruited by aliens from outer space to save the world he replied “Because the ideas I had about supernatural beings came to me in the same way that my mathematical ideas did. So I took them seriously.”

    I always thought people who were “hearing the voice of God” were experiencing the same thing. Something irrational happens but you interpret it in a way that just feels true to you as an individual, and it’s so impactful that you choose to believe and test it.