I actually found that book and managed to download a copy. I’ll start reading it tomorrow.

I’ve definitely noticed times when I’ve been in each of these states. I’ll give breaking things down into “Thoughts, Feelings, Behavior” a try too.

Thanks again for all the advice and information, it’s been really helpful!

Thanks, I use most of these techniques too. The bottom-up process you mentioned for writing is really helpful for a lot of things. I used to write documentation for work, and writing things down as if I were explaining them to someone else, like you suggested, is a great way to see things as a whole. I’ve started using a journal in the same way, just collecting my thoughts and trying to put them all together. Exercise has been a game changer. I’ve started running in the mornings and evenings, as well as lifting weights. I hate to admit it, but the exercise people were right lol

No, not really. I’m somewhat of a recluse. There have been specific people at work who have been on the receiving end, but unless I was unmuted or something, they would never know about it.

I feel things a little too strongly sometimes, but I’ve found something that helps. Another commenter shared this with me. I still don’t understand all of it, but I think the part about ignoring emotions is related to my issue.

I’ve started keeping a journal, and whenever I feel overwhelmed, I write down whatever I’m feeling. If I remember, I also try to practice mindfulness. It’s only been two days, but I’ve used the journal at least a dozen times, and I can practice mindfulness anytime.

It actually works. I’ve been silent all day almost.

I’m still learning about what they are, and I also have ADHD, which complicates things. I usually don’t pay attention to how I’m feeling, and until recently, I used to just react without really thinking. I was reading about ADHD and Rejection Sensitive Dysphoria, and I can see that this is definitely contributing to my situation. It’s more about judgments and exclusions, and less about rejection and criticism. I don’t mind being made fun of; I just want to be accepted.

Sweatpants sound good too

Thank you. This is important, but I need to process it.

My situation is a little different, but it’s similar to the end of a long-term relationship, and I went through nearly all of what you’ve described. A few months have passed, and I feel like I’m nearing the end of whatever this is. I also reacted strongly to something insignificant, like a basketball, before I realized I needed to address it. If it’s not too personal, could you give an example of what you mean by signs of being in hypoarousal and hyperarousal? I’ve noticed situations where I’ll freeze up if I feel judged, and I’ve also caught myself stimming (rocking side to side in my chair when I’m overstimulated or stressed). I haven’t been officially diagnosed yet, but I no longer have any doubts that I’m on the spectrum.

Don’t apologize, I do the exact same thing, and I knew you didn’t want to reply unless it was high-quality. What you posted was perfect. Thank you.

I’m in the same boat and really struggling with this. I have some unhealthy coping mechanisms that I didn’t realize were that bad or even related.

Like you, I have trouble getting the words out. My sentences become short and choppy because I can’t process my thoughts or fully understand what I’m feeling when it’s all happening. I didn’t even realize what was going on until a month or two ago, and I’m in my late 30s. It sounds like you’ve already tried writing things down. I just started doing that today, and it’s been incredibly helpful. Another thing I’ve found useful is mindfulness meditation. I almost never listen to my body, but with mindfulness, you sort of have to.

I didn’t realize how difficult it really is to communicate these things until I tried.

For me, it’s gym shorts and a T-shirt, usually in bright colors.

The shorts are typically 100% cotton, but I also have a couple of shirts made from merino wool, which are incredibly comfortable to wear.

Take your time, I completely understand this. Thanks in advance.

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Sorry about that, I missed the part about this being for your phone.

I tried running a 1/1Gbps connection over Cat5e at home too, but for some reason, I couldn’t get it to connect properly. Ended up switching to Cat6, and it finally stabilized. I’m still scratching my head over why the Cat5e didn’t work as expected.

What is the cost associated with Immich? I keep hearing about it, but I still don’t know how that really works I guess

Would it be better to route that directly? I’m not really understanding the complexity I guess.

How long can something like that really last, though? I wish we had a better idea of the timeline, before the quasi-demons start freelancing lol

FlagFox

This one is really useful, thanks!

Linux command line text editor

I use the Catppuccin theme for everything. Here’s a list of apps they support—maybe you use some of these already?

Loving the light/dark mode suggestion! It ties in perfectly with the deeper accessibility features I’m developing, especially for users with ADHD, autism, and sensory sensitivities.

I’m starting with the Catppuccin color palette for uniformity across the platform. High-contrast modes will be designed to support various types of color blindness, ensuring the platform is navigable for everyone. Color adjustments will be tailored to enhance readability and interaction for conditions like Deuteranopia and Monochromacy. Additionally, all interactive elements will comply with WCAG 2.1 AA standards, ensuring they are keyboard navigable and screen reader friendly. If you want to see how slick this can look, especially on Amoled screens, check out this interactive demo of Catppuccin on TailwindCSS. It’s smooth and totally aligns with the ‘gucci mobile view’ you love!

And hey, if you’re down, I could really use a hand turning these ideas into reality. Your insight could be just what’s needed to make sure everything clicks just right. We both know how unique our learning and thinking styles are, and getting your perspective would be invaluable, especially since this project is all about creating spaces that adapt to individual needs.

Seriously hyped to possibly collaborate with you on this. Let’s chat more and see how we can shake things up together =P

Thank you for opening up and sharing such deeply personal parts of your history. It really resonates with me, as my relationship with my dad evolved in ways that are both similar and distinct from yours. While my father also had a strict and intimidating side during my early years, much of that was influenced by my grandfather, who pushed him to be that way. However, as I grew older, our relationship changed significantly.

During my teen years, my dad shifted from that authoritarian figure to someone I could genuinely connect with. He became the “cool dad,” and our bond strengthened as he started to reverse course on his earlier strictness. He let me throw parties at home, mostly when he wasn’t around, and often came home to a house full of people. It was wild, lots of weed, alcohol, and yet he mostly took it in stride. He even had a jar full of condoms in the kitchen at one point, not that I needed that many, lol. It was his way of showing trust and support, which went a long way in healing the wounds from his earlier parenting style.

While my dad and I grew closer, my grandma and mom were always kind and supportive figures in my life. Their warmth balanced out the harsher moments and gave me a sense of stability.

I really understand where you’re coming from with the complexities of deciding when to reconnect or when to maintain distance in those relationships. It’s never easy, but I hope that sharing our stories can help us both feel a bit more understood in our journeys.

Hahaha, I totally get what you’re saying about the running beat, there’s definitely a call-and-response vibe there, and it’s cool how different things like that can connect us. Running really is a great way to stay grounded, and it makes sense that your military friend finds that connection through it, even if their music choice leans more electronic. Structure can be a real challenge with ADHD, so I totally relate to the need to mix things up. I’m always craving change, too, whether it’s taking a different route or just switching up my routine, it keeps things interesting and manageable.

As for being on-call, yeah, it’s definitely a grind. I was supposed to be paid extra for that, but the company never followed through, and I only found out about the legal requirements after I’d already moved on. By then, I was just glad to close that chapter and didn’t care too much. But it’s frustrating how companies try to squeeze out as much as they can without fairly compensating people. I completely agree with the idea of pulling off dual gigs, stacking cash, and investing to get ahead of the rat race. If you’re looking into that, you might find this community really helpful.

You’re spot on about the two camps with ADHD—either needing all the information at once or wanting it in clean, bite-sized pieces. That balance is definitely something I’m focused on. I’m aiming to create a design that caters to both needs, making sure the content is organized, clear, and easy to navigate, especially on mobile. It’s frustrating when you’re trying to learn something and the design just gets in the way, so I’m putting a lot of thought into keeping things as clean and readable as possible, even without “reader” mode.

I totally get why you like PieFed. Clean design makes all the difference, even with a few quirks. As for the job market, yeah, it’s rough out there, but I’m ready to flex my experience. You’re right, sometimes you’ve got to use whatever edge you have to make things work.

But honestly, it’s not about the money for me. I have a real passion for Linux, which is going to be the main focus of the website at first. With ADHD, I know how tough it can be to learn, everything I know is self-taught. That’s why this project is so important to me. I want to create something that makes learning easier for others like me. I’m committed to keeping the website free for everyone, and I’m looking into applying for grants to cover the costs so that it stays accessible to anyone who needs it.