Almost any political entity can give a title. Maybe we can get an small incorporated town, academic institution or church to bestow one.

Sir Kiddy Diddler is good, but it implies knighthood and that’s a whole thing. Someone could give him an honorary doctorate in Kiddy Diddling, the only question is whether that falls under science or arts.

Yes! This is called 5BX if anyone wants to look for books and modern resources. There are apps for it, too.

Those are very small condoms. Are we sure they’re not for the pokemon?

No you’re nice.

This is how I feel about windchimes. Take them the fuck inside and put em in front of a fan if you need to hear tinkly sounds all the goddamn time.