Fediverse Advocate

  • 16 Posts
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Joined 2 years ago
Cake day: June 19th, 2023
  • Flax@feddit.uktoNo Stupid Questions@lemmy.world•uhh… my ex girlfriend and long-time friend is now cishet, very christian, and makes those “i identify as” jokes regarding trans people. would it end up bad for me if i continued to be her friend?English
    3·
    1 day ago

    i also hope she didn’t decide this due to christianity.

    Why not? Her choice if she wants to follow her beliefs.

    will this end up actually bad for me like those superevangelicals?

    I’m gonna go against the hivemind here; probably not. A lot of the close-minded Christians I find personally are people who haven’t struggled in the past. I don’t think someone who used to be at odds with her gender identity and sexuality will be extra malicious to the point of harming you or wishing harm.

    To me it’s kind of like a gambler or a drug addict: You don’t agree with their lifestyle or think it’s moral, but you don’t want any harm to come to them. So I don’t think you’re in any risk.

    I used to be in a similar situation to her, questioning my gender and sexuality before I doubled down on my faith, and I’m happy and comfortable now. I still have friends from the lgbtq+ community. I don’t hate them at all. I still treat them equally as my friend. Sure, as a Christian, I desire everyone to seek forgiveness of their sins because my belief is that’s what’s best for them, but that’s between them and God. If they ever have any questions or objections, I’m happy to answer. But if they are firm in their unbelief, then I’ll still be their friend. I completely reject Christian Nationalism, even though a lot of my ethical opinions are shaped by my beliefs.

    However,

    As another commenter said, they recommend that you aren’t friends with your ex. I have never had a friendship with an ex end well either. But again, you said long-time friend, so if it’s working, then it’s working.

    I wouldn’t let your distrust of her due to her beliefs get in the way of you two. Generally, people who disagree should still be able to get along.

    Now, this is important:

    I’d also say that if you drop her because of her beliefs, it might make her feel like that she cannot trust lgbtq+ people and that she might see it as a cult which a lot of conservative commentators say. Right now you have a good position to be a counterbalance to that. The internet is designed to push us into echo chambers and society is trying to push echo chambers as the right thing. People are turning against each other because of beliefs. You actually won’t be much better than her if you push her away for her beliefs. Unless your aim is to deconvert her, you should stick around so she has somebody on the other side of the opinion. I have had people approach me in Christian circles ridiculing trans people, but from the experience I have from having trans friends, I was able to speak up on the issue and water down their opinion on it. If trans people completely avoided me, I could have even gotten sucked into the rumours. But I have trans friends and I know that they aren’t all groomers trying to inject my children with HRT.

    You said she is really nice. That’s what matters.

    Now, for the jokes, if they actually upset you, maybe you should talk about them. If she can at least respect your concern, then it’s definitely a friendship worth keeping around.