Edit: this is satire, I clearly interact with these people far too often to have done this good of a job.

Imagine if The Onion had to say this.

Your target audience understood, the people downvoting probably are Ubuntu users anway.

Void Linux+Gnu

Uhh, it’s GNU SLASH Linux actually

The Gentoo wiki is pretty good too

Actual reenactment:

All you need to know is that, whatever you pick, you made the wrong choice and you will be roasted if you ever attempt to explain your decision.

Unless you use Arch, then you have chosen correctly.

His wife must really like dad jokes…

He just has a wide stance.

It’s annoying, but it isn’t feeding my data into the AIs.

Helldivers 2’s new beta client is 24GB (current client: 150+GB).

So, I’ve at least had a chance to download more hard drive space

So fake.

That version of Luxo lamp wasn’t invented until 1937

smh my head

Have you tried turning the rape island off and on again?

I just sat down for a nice crackers and milk salad

You would think they’d at least experimint with a few lines before they cast admonishmint at we poor souls who are so pArched for a good line.

That’s because these are GUI users, the real TOS is written in an arcane format only viewable by a cat or a bat.

I tried it but TF2 wouldn’t launch so I switched to Ubuntu.

Gentoo users would too, but their social skills are still compiling

It’s okay to be scared, still do the right thing and make jokes about it.

It gets weirder the longer you look at it.

Sure, let’s just say the guy was overzealous with the (silicone caulk? lol) adhesive compound. Maybe the white cord is DC power, replacing the battery… but the red wire that’s right beside the ‘power’ wire is a USB cable plugged into the phone’s USB port.

What is plugged into the other end? It’s Zalgo isn̴̝̂’̶̯̾ṭ̷̆ ̶̫̈i̷̹̚t̴̩̉?̶͊͜

Honestly, if someone is just looking to get started cheap and easy, buying a pi and installing pi hole is a great first project that has immediate positive returns. Adding more services can be easy (if you used containers) and expanding to add more services is cheap.

Then, when you decide to spring for a server box, those Pis can still be useful as home automation devices. For example, they can control a decent amount of programmable LED strip lighting. Attached to a sensor shield, a solar panel and battery it can do atmospheric monitoring outside (while also controlling your driveway lighting) while being easy to integrate into HomeAssistant.

If you need to retire it, you can throw some emulators on it (retropi), load it up with a few thousand ROMs and donate it to a place that buys kids toys for holidays/their birthday.