About cars, and not necessarily designed poorly, but definitely designed by a man for men: cars that, by default, automatically, immediately unlock all doors when the engine is turned off. A man might be car jacked or robbed, a woman might be car jacked, robbed, or raped.
(Of course men can be raped too, but it’s not as likely to happen by a strange woman threatening violence than a woman is to be raped by a strange man threatening the same.)
Remembering birthdays is a reflection of how much someone cares about birthdays. There’s no need to read anything more into that.
Many people (this thread is an example) are either completely indifferent to birthdays or even dislike them. To us (I’m indifferent) birthdays are totally pointless and basically a fact related to identification, like a student number or social insurance number. I remember my student and social insurance number because I have to, in order to function at school and in society. I don’t ask anyone else’s student numbers because it’s entirely pointless and useless information to me.
From what you’ve described, it sounds like she’s a straight forward and direct person, which is good. Just be straight forward and direct (but tactful) with her. Something like, “I’m sorry, I think I misunderstood the situation. I’d like to hang out as friends, but I’m not looking for anything more.” Optionally, “We can have that drink if it’s just as friends, but I’m not going to lead you on if you want something more.”
I got the Logitech Lift and found it didn’t do it for me. It’s certainly better than a traditional mouse, but it’s at an angle that’s still not neutral. I ended up getting an Evoluent and it was much more comfortable.
I enjoyed this because it took me a second to think what a not-dried prune is: a plum.
I feel this so much. I got into stamp collecting, and I totally enjoy stamps and mail and all, but (old) people are so pretentious about it. The worst are the total hypocrites about it, too.
"I got into stamps when I was young, but I stopped when I went to university/started working/had a family because I didn’t have time for it, and came back to it after I retired.
"Philately is supposed to be academic and scholarly. You’re not a real philatelist if you’re not doing original research.
"Young people just don’t have the patience for stamps!
“The hobby is dying, why don’t young people want to collect stamps anymore??”
Actually, a lot of people do and share lots of stuff online (where the old people are not seeing it and thus is not happening). We’re just not writing 16-page papers about them (which is the standard a expected thing to do in “philately”).
Ask a local to show you some of their winter clothes or to take you winter clothes shopping. Your warmest clothes right now are not warm enough. Capacitive touch gloves will let you use your phone.
If you have a car, get a snow brush and ice scraper (for windshield and windows). There is winter windshield fluid, get and use it when it’s snowing. Get winter tires, it makes a difference. Insurance companies give a discount for having them. If there’s snow on the road, go slower than you think you should, and start braking at least twice as early as when it’s dry. Accelerate and brake slowly. If your car is sliding on ice, resist the temptation to keep pressing your brakes, try your best to steer the slide instead.
If your car gets stuck in snow and you need to run it to keep it warm, make sure the tail pipe is well clear of snow (carbon monoxide). Keep an emergency blanket, hat, gloves in the car in case of breakdown. If the wheels are stuck in a snowbank (just spinning in place), some sand or non-clumping cat litter can give you traction. You can sacrifice your floor mats for this, too.
If you walk instead of drive, consider crampons for your boots for if it gets icy out.
There’s different textures and density to snow. Wet snow is dense and heavy, dry snow is light and fluffy. Shoveling can be very different depending on the snow. Lift/push with your legs, now with your arms or back. Take breaks if needed.
If you wear glasses, they will fog up when you go from outside to inside. Sorry. You could get anti-fog stuff used for snow and ski goggles, but most normal people just wait for them to warm up.
A scarf makes a big difference.
Wool can keep you warm even when wet.
Be prepared for power outages especially if the area does not bury power lines. Heavy snow, or worse, ice, can make tree branches heavy and fall and snap power lines. If this happens, be mindful of carbon monoxide. People, families have died trying to keep warm by running generators, stoves, etc indoors without proper ventilation.
Snow reflects sunlight; wear sunglasses if the sun is out and there’s snow on the ground.
Go outside and listen when the snow is falling. It makes everything quieter and it’s really ice to hear.
Snow that’s warmed slightly then frozen again is crunchy and fun to walk on.
If you’re north enough, the sunlight will not be sufficient for creating vitamin D. (Plus you’ll probably be indoors more, less daylight in general.) Consider a supplement.
Consider a SAD light if lack of daylight affects your moods.
Let’s be honest, most people who learn Tai chi as an exercise also don’t realize that it’s joint locks and throws.
Don’t take it personally, applying for a job is a game of chance as much as a game of merits. It’s simply a numbers game and luck whether your resume even gets looked at in the first place, even if you’re résumé how all their keywords. Hundreds, maybe thousands, of other resumes also hit their keywords.
If you’re lucky enough to get through the first sifting and get an interview with the hiring person (not an HR screener who doesn’t know anything about the job), then you can ask and maybe get a response on how you could have improved. (Don’t ask why you weren’t hired.)
To be serious, yes, absolutely. How many children hear their parents just bark orders at their virtual assistants without a please or thank you, and then do so themselves? I consciously say please and thank you because I want the children around me to learn they should say please and thank you.
And, let’s be honest, how many adults get used to just barking orders without a please and thank you and then interact with people that way, too?
Sorry to be very late to reply.
I know two people who were Christians in Afghanistan, they are both now in North America. When they were found out, they fled their homes with little more than the clothes on their backs to India. They did not know each other in Afghanistan (they came from different states), but became friends in India. One fellow was there for 7 years, the other for 14 years. India does not recognize refugee status, therefore they were undocumented (illegal) people with no rights or the ability to work legally. They got by by doing under-table work for cash and by the kindness of others. They still faced attempts on their lives in India, too, by other Afghan Muslims living there. Since they were not there legally, they could not go to the police to report the assaults. The guy who was there for 7 years, he was sponsored to leave India and go to another country as a refugee. After he settled and eventually became a citizen, he started the process to sponsor his friend whom he’d left behind. They, and their church, are now sponsoring more refugees.
Are they okay? That’s hard to say. I mean, they’re doing much better because they are safe, but they have certain behaviours borne from their hardships and traumas. They are very mistrustful of the government, for one; it’s basically unbelievable to them that there can be government programs that are beneficial to them. There must be strings, or some way for the government to spy on them. Sometimes I see self-soothing behaviours, like one guy kind of holds himself and rocks back and forth. They need therapy, but that kind of thing is not really within their radar. But they are still compassionate people who are very hard-working and dedicated to helping or saving others who were in the same situation as they were. I don’t think they will ever have “peace” so long as there’s more injustice to fight against in the world.
BBC series Merlin was a little like this. King Uther hated magic, Prince Arthur was kinda against it because he was told it was dangerous, but didn’t exactly hate it himself. Meanwhile Merlin took a job as a servant, doing magic-y things to protect him. Wasn’t a great series (writing), but it had enjoyable aspects.
I’ve found this to be true in general once I started working. I don’t feel kinda this was a thing when I was and was integrating with other students. I had to readjust my “responsible” self who actually would follow up (to people’s horror) and tell myself it’s a polite saying that people don’t mean. Like when people greet each other with “How are you?”, they generally actually do not want to know how the other person is doing. You’re expected to say “fine” or “good” and deviating from that is violating an unspoken social contract.
The millennial hate is so unreal. A friend of mine is also a millennial, but she refuses to admit she is one and insists she’s Gen X. She is not Gen X by four years. Then she told me she identifies as Gen X🤦🏻♀️
(Actually her attitudes and behaviours are more stereotype Boomer than anything.)
I know people who were Christians in Afghanistan, who were outed to the government (Taliban). The word they use is “spy”. It may not be the normal, English use of the word, but it’s the word that real-life people who have been on the receiving end of the betrayal use.
People are saying being funny and having confidence, and they’re right, and I’m going to tell your why. When being around you makes someone feel good, they will want to be around you more. That’s not exclusive to romantic relationships, it’s true also of friendships and business relationships, too.
An acquaintance asked me out not long ago, I declined. His looks had nothing to do with it, it was his negative personality. The few times I’d talked with him, all he ever did was complain about stuff. Complaints (without solutions) are inherently negative. I don’t need negative energy in my life. A romantic partner has to make life better.
If your expectation is for someone to come and make you happy, then you are a happiness-sink. You drain joy from other people instead of mutually building up each other. No one wants a joy-drain, and I’ll be honest with you, your attitude is one of a drain.
So, the question is, how do you make a someone’s life better? Do you being laughter to her? Do you make her feel safe? Do you give her confidence in herself? Do you bring interest to her life? Do you make her feel heard and seen? And to be clear, someone should do all those things for you mutually, too. Two people should be building each other up.
The last guy I wanted to ask out (but he abruptly lost his job and had to move to another city, so I never did) he was in his late 20s and already balding quit a bit, lanky, and has terrible posture. Physically, he not very attractive. But not only was he very funny (a good start), he was also doing his masters (intelligent and hard working), played musical instruments (passion and interest), and spent a lot of time volunteering (kind and caring). Everything about his personality drew new to him. (And honestly, next to that, what positive would I have brought to him?)
As a fountain pen user, I would suggest against that unless you know it suits her personality. Fountains pens require maintenance, and certainly it’s easy maintenance, but it’s definitely more work than a ballpoint. They are a hobby, and if it’s is not her thing, she’ll never use it.
I would instead recommend a nice ballpoint pen set where the ink can be replaced when empty. Something she can use without having to think about or maintaining it.
Refusing to use nail polish remover to clean off permanent marker because that’s “for women”. It’s acetone, my dude, acetone.
I never really got into tea because I always found the flavour disappointing compared to its aroma. But I recently tried yerba maté, which isn’t a tea but definition, but is similar. It’s made from the leaves and stems of Holly and has a strong, bitter flavour that definitely does not disappoint. It’s enjoyed in places like Argentina, Paraguay, Uruguay, and Brazil. Now I start my day with a mug of coffee, then sip on maté the rest of the day.