Me 2001: Mcdonalds is running an anniversary special. Cheeseburgers are $0.10. Fuck yeah! I’mma order 20 them sumbitches!!!

Me today at age 41: I haven’t had Mcdonalds since before the pandemic.

“Hi, I’ll get a double quarter pounder with cheese meal, large, and I’ll wait for new fries.”

“That’ll be $26.69”

“HAHAHAHA, right??? Could you imagine??? what’s you’re name? James? Could you imagine that James? Charging that much for some Mcdonalds? HAHAHAHAHA!!! Ok James. That’s a good one. Now what’s the actual price?”

“$26.69”

“HAAAAAAAA, ok, ok, funs fun, but c’mon. I gotta pay for my food. What is it really?”

“$26.69”

“Wha—are you being serious?”

“Yes.”

“ARE YOU HIGH???”

“Yes.”

“Well…uhhhhh…”

checks the board and does the math

“WHAT THE FUCK??? IS RAY CROC HIGH???”

“He’s dead.”

“WELL I DON’T THINK YOU CAN BE HIGH WHEN YOU’RE DEAD JAMES!!!”

“I know. That’s why we gotta spend the time that we’ve got on this planet doing what we love, with the people that we love. We don’t have a lot of time on this planet, and someday, maybe someday soon, something could happen. Then your best friend is just taken from you. With no warning. Maybe a lightning strike. Maybe hit by a drunk driver. You never know. So you gotta live your life doing what you can while you can to make sure that you have no regrets. Last thing you want is for someone to die before you can tell them you love them.”

“Wow. That was beautiful. I’m sorry about your friend.”

“Oh no. All my friends are still living. I tell them I love them all the time. And they love me too. Not in a romantkc way, but in a pure of heart real human connection kind of way. We love each other like brothers.”

“That is a surprising level of introspection from someone of your age. You have a real sense of emotional maturity.”

“Hey, thanks! That’ll be $26.69”

“FUUUUUUUUUUU-----”