I know it’s just a joke. But, black and brown bears are very intelligent and quite peaceful creatures. I’ve run into forty or fifty in the wilderness. I’ve never once felt the bear was considering an attack. They’re smart enough to recognize our complex behaviors as a large risk to their safety.
The story of the vast majority of humans mauled by bears:
Your dog has a perfect record of defending the pack. Every single time the target either runs or turns out to be friendly. No other pack member defends. Its primary reason to exist is to defend. A bear has a perfect record of fights with anything but another bear.
One day the bear smells some food, good stuff it can’t find normally. It’s some campers with their dog. The dog smells the bear, full adrenaline drops for its whole reason to exist, and defends the pack. The bear wins in about one second.
The human defends the dog. The bear fights because that’s what it’s doing right now. Then, it reconsiders and runs away. Finally, the Forest Rangers track down and kill the bear quietly, preserving the tourism the community relies on.
We’re really shitty to bears, at least here in the US. They’re not even very dangerous relative an wild elk, moose, or even free range livestock. It’s the big and dumb ones you need to watch out for. And marmot. Never disagree with a marmot.
As proven by the fact that dogs exist. I bet wolves were constantly itchy as well, but receiving those excellent scritches over millennia, they turned into the gentle doggos that we know today.
And now I can have one of these 30kg predators in my house, trusting me with their life and sleeping on me occasionally and not mauling me with their sharp teeth, just because of the power of scritches.
I don’t know what it is but it seems almost universal that animals will give in and be pacified by da good scritchies
Maybe predator animals are just so angry because they’re constantly itchy! Lemme go check!
Immediately mauled by bears
I know it’s just a joke. But, black and brown bears are very intelligent and quite peaceful creatures. I’ve run into forty or fifty in the wilderness. I’ve never once felt the bear was considering an attack. They’re smart enough to recognize our complex behaviors as a large risk to their safety.
The story of the vast majority of humans mauled by bears:
Your dog has a perfect record of defending the pack. Every single time the target either runs or turns out to be friendly. No other pack member defends. Its primary reason to exist is to defend. A bear has a perfect record of fights with anything but another bear.
One day the bear smells some food, good stuff it can’t find normally. It’s some campers with their dog. The dog smells the bear, full adrenaline drops for its whole reason to exist, and defends the pack. The bear wins in about one second.
The human defends the dog. The bear fights because that’s what it’s doing right now. Then, it reconsiders and runs away. Finally, the Forest Rangers track down and kill the bear quietly, preserving the tourism the community relies on.
We’re really shitty to bears, at least here in the US. They’re not even very dangerous relative an wild elk, moose, or even free range livestock. It’s the big and dumb ones you need to watch out for. And marmot. Never disagree with a marmot.
So, my parents had this dachshund. Dachshunds are dumb, and will literally pick a fight with anything (and then run and hide behind you.)
One time I was dog sitting- Tootsie was just a puppy, it was wonderful weather for late spring so I went camping, taking her with.
Gonna go fly fishing and catch breakfast, was waiting for the sun to come up with my coffee and this bear comes up the opposite side of the creek.
Tootsie being the dumbass, starts yapping.
The bear looks at her. Its expression is “you know you’re not even a snack, right?”,
It looks at me. “You know she’s not even a snack?”
My expression is “I know, I know. Shut up tootsie. Yer a snack!”
The bear gives this sort of shrug I took as, “Okay. Just do you know.” And moved off down the stream.
Yeah that was more just me reaching for what was close at hand, not like I’m in a place where I’m likely to run into a polar bear or a russian bear
I just like bears, know a little bit, and think they’re getting fucked over in many parts of the US. I definitely wasn’t finding fault with a joke.
If you tried to scritch a wild cat you might just get away with it for awhile. But, you’re never getting that hand back :)
Because rodent.
As proven by the fact that dogs exist. I bet wolves were constantly itchy as well, but receiving those excellent scritches over millennia, they turned into the gentle doggos that we know today. And now I can have one of these 30kg predators in my house, trusting me with their life and sleeping on me occasionally and not mauling me with their sharp teeth, just because of the power of scritches.
Pretty sure it was actually food scraps that got ‘em. Scritches came later.
Nah, that can’t be right, I’m pretty sure it was them sweet sweet scritches. I asked, former wolf agrees.
I dunno. Better do an experiment. Scritches and snacks.
(Oh they deserve all the scritches!)
Nah, grooming & scritchies is more a social thing.