When I was a kid, like a real little kid, I remember having this one song I liked a lot about a guy trying to deal with getting wedgies at school. I remember almost nothing about it now, other than the guy eventually finds that Fruit of the Loom brand underwear has stretchy enough elastic to make the wedges painless. (This song is the reason I kept bugging my parents to get me Fruit of the Loom brand underwear instead of other brands.)

Now I can’t seem to find the song. The only reason I know it existed is because my parents also remember my weird brand loyalty to Fruit of the Loom because of that song. Can any of you guys help me find the underwear song that defined my childhood?