Ansible is actually pretty nice, if you get the hang of it. Not perfect, but better than triple tunnel ssh.
You could simply automate step by step, each time you change something, you add that to the playbook and over time you should end up with a good setup.
Flakey dev setups are productivity killers.
I find it extremely frustrating how weirdly wrong-density much documentation is. It’s extremely detailed in all the wrong places and often lacks examples for common use cases.
I learned a while ago that news articles are supposed to have increasing levels of detail from top to bottom. Each paragraph adds a bit more context, but the general picture should be contained in the first one. Hardly any documentation follows that pattern.