halyk.the.red

Happened to me as a kid. This huge spider came crawling over my shoulder, but so engrossed was I in the show I was watching, I didn’t notice the monstrosity until it was right in front of my face. I sat up and tried to scream, but no noise came out. I didn’t go into that room again for days.

I wish I could be that cozy

Hand tight, then torque wrench, 7-inch pounds.

I think it’s the spirit of your comment.

It’s almost in the same vein as someone going to a magic show and loudly proclaiming that magic isn’t real and it’s all stagecraft.

I’d say your comment wasn’t exactly required, we all know it’s just stories. But it’s also an open forum and you’re free to comment all you like. If it’s any consolation, I didn’t downvote you.

Solar systems only got the one star.

I wanna know how he got named Charlie when he has a big M on his forehead.

I’ve seen Breaking Bad mentioned. If you enjoy that, check out Your Honor. It’s another drama series starring Bryan Cranston.

Oh it’s an absolutely terrible idea. But it is something one can do with an old phone.

You can try to see how far you can skip it on a lake or pond.

My work stands on it’s own two legs. Their work doesn’t affect my paycheck. If their laziness impacts me, I will not stay silent about it at all. Other than that, I’m punching my clock and focusing on what I need to.

There’s a pest control salesman who goes door to door every year, who I can’t stand. Not only does he say outright incorrect things, but he can’t take no for an answer. Every polite refusal turns into, “You know what, we can knock 80 bucks off that right now” or “How about we just make the first month free.”

Next time he comes knocking, I’m going to be immediately upfront. I’m not interested in paying money to spray poison, that will end up in the canal and the river, to kill bugs that birds and frogs and bats could be eating.

Some skinny girl climbed into my lap at a college house party. I was very fucked up. For some reason, I thought a good thing to say was, “Why not, I’ve fucked fatter chicks.” She immediately got up and we never spoke again. No clue why I said that. I never even got her name, which is a shame, because I’d like to apologize.

Stopping at two drinks.

About as often as I skip electronics on bodies of water.

See how many times you can skip it on a lake.

You got it.

I agree, but I figured I’d draw particular attention to this lie on the off chance that op was about to give a charlatan a sum of money in a misguided attempt to assuage some grief.

Or they’re attempting to leverage a person’s grief for financial gain.

As soon as they start to look smug about their appearances, I berate them heavily. For about a week after, I’ll make them wear unflattering accessories, such as snake skin chaps, or a boa made entirely from raw chicken. If they ever ask why, I yell at the top of my lungs about how one day they’ll be ugly and need a plan b.

I hope this answer was at least as ridiculous as the question.