If you’re hosting websites and not applications, perhaps you can use SSGs like Hugo/Gatsby. You could deploy your site in a bucket and put cloudflare in front. They can also be used on your own server of course. If you are hosting applications and want to keep them on 4g, you could put a CDN (CloudFlare or …) in frint of it. That would cache all static resources and greatly improve response times.
Why is he in bed saying “it’s the middle of the night” then.
Your explanation does not fit with the comic.
If Jenkins would have said “but i don’t work on Wednesday” and his boss said “it’s Thursday “. That would have fit your scenario.