This was ingrained into me. When I needed some form of help but was interpreted as not needing it for whatever reason I’d get a “do you know what x person went through for you??” Style lecture, especially if I had the audacity to still be experiencing a problem after

A different set of strengths can form the illusion of “powers” if the majority of the people with those strengths are gatekept by ableist systems. I think part of this is just a massive filtration of neurodivergent people who make it into the professional world at every level followed by the observation that we are rare afterward. Well, we aren’t, just the ones that succeeded with no systemic backing are rare.

That sounds disgusting. This kind of thing is why I never move jobs.

Who at what company is having the conversation “let’s do (generic pattern)” without facing some kind of problem or inherent design need that can be solved by (generic pattern). Do these companies need software developers or did they just notice that all of the other companies have them? Surely some sort of inherent needs are driving their software.

Edited to make the generic pattern clearer

I wonder if Spanish people write more interesting Jira tickets.

Watching what you say and what you do isn’t masking. Watching what you are is masking. You don’t just filter out, you have to emote entire emotions that you’d express entirely differently because other people are disturbed by your normal expression of XYZ feeling.

It comes from years of being double punished when something bad happens because our remorse facial expression doesn’t match what they think remorse is supposed to look like so they don’t see any. And sometimes those.punishments are just for expressing something else in the non standard way.

I mean sure filtering topics is part of it, and it often involves filtering very pertinent topics. For example if something is really bothering you to the point of physical pain, but it isn’t supposed to be bothering you, that is the topic you then have to filter. And you have to physically replace your expressions of pain with whatever emotion you are supposed to be feeling. Of course you don’t replace your pain with the way youd express the emotion you’re supposed to be feeling. You replace the pain with how they wish you’d express the emotion they wish you’d be feeling.

Masking is gaslighting your entire body and brain out of every big and small action and reaction until whoever it is you really are is difficult to even retrieve.

I guess I have trouble telling which level of masking I’m seeing talked about because I interpreted the op as a conscious thing whoops.

I do both levels. Like, I have “I don’t want to explain this thing” which I’m trying to stop on that conscious level, but I also experience the other side where certain circumstances are just like, flashes in my brain that pull out the only response that feels safe, or sometimes the only one that seems non-destructive, but not in a way that I’m capable of processing in the moment, and I don’t know why I do it often. Unraveling that is a lot harder, though, and while it is happening, maybe the less advanced state of that unmasking effort is also why I can’t see it being talked about.

Being the autistic person on the receiving end of this sort of communication can be kind of frustrating ngl

Nobody can see this -> some people can see this -> anybody can see this

Good to see recognition of this. It sucks to have PTSD from things that are still considered to be perfectly normal and acceptable to most people you describe them to.

When I reach level 2 I feel like I’ve ascended, but I often get stuck on 1.