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Cake day: July 1st, 2023

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  • douglasg14b@lemmy.worldOPtoAutism@lemmy.worldHow to "unmask"?
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    2 months ago

    This had me thinking a lot about it… Damn.

    I grew up having to mask within my family who were, and still are, strict traditionalists. Extremely formal, I learned to “hide” myself probably before I was even 10.

    I started to express more in my teens in school, but relentless bullying taught me how to mask better. And home was a strict and unforgiving environment alongside.

    I’m only starting to discover the trauma I’ve been causing myself over the last 25+ years.

    I can’t even express myself freely, in a room by myself, I feel self conscious and a need to “control” myself to fit norms even when I’m the only one in the bloody room. “But what if someone sees me?!?”

    Gah, what a mess.






  • That’s a great take.

    It just feels like some people just by default are standoffish and hesitant till they actually meet you. Then they’re buddy-bud.


    The scene is fuckin hard:

    • 1/10 have the (broad) personality types I’m attracted to
    • Of those 4/5 don’t actually follow through to the point of actually meeting
    • Of those maybe 1/3rd share enough of an interests and world-view overlap to strike up good, flowing, conversation. Someone to build a solid friendship with.

    So you’re talking 1/125 actual people (Just to get to the starting line), 125 people that required effort to chat with, get to know their personality, showed interest in, and generally had some level of investment in to build a friendship.

    And honestly, I’m not even picky, I’m not mentioning body type here, I didn’t even mention gender. Primarily I want a strong intellectual attraction, something you can often even sus out over chat.

    It’s a crap shoot, stumbling upon the right kind of person seems easy in theory. But it’s incredibly difficult in practice as I’m finding out. Statistically there is an insane, incredibly high, number of people out there that match up well for each of us. However actually finding them is a seemingly insurmountable task, with countless barriers in the way.


    All that said. I agree with your take but also I think that some of the people who end up ghosting are not necessarily bad people they’ve just been similarly influenced by “the game”, and are probably similarly burnt out.




  • Another risk with Monitor, which may get better with time. Is that FOSS rust projects have a tendency to slow down or even stall due to the time cost of writing features, and the very small dev community available to pick up slack when original creators/maintainers drop off, burn out, or get too busy with life.

    To be clear: I have nothing against rust. It’s a fantastic language filling in a crucial gap that’s existed for decades. However, it’s I’ll suited for app development, that’s just not it’s strength.