I very rarely have trouble sleeping, but when I do, this is what I’ve always done since childhood and it hasn’t failed me yet.

I lay there, with my eyes closed, resist any temptation to look at my phone or do anything else, make myself as comfortable as possible wrapped up in blankets and pillows and whatever

And I just kind of direct my mind towards something pointless and let it wander down that rabbit hole

Maybe I’ll imagine sort of a bunch of swirling lights and colors and just kind of watch them, look for patterns, etc.

Or I’ll make up stories. I’m no author, but I’ll imagine myself as maybe a super hero, or an astronaut, or a wizard, or any of those sort of stock characters, and I imagine myself saving the world, or fighting a dragon, or boldly going where no man has gone before. These stories I’m making up aren’t deep, they’re a crappy universe full of plot holes and the kinds of characters an elementary schooler playing make-believe would come up with, because of course the superhero I’m imagining myself as can fly and has heat vision and wolverine claws and can turn invisible and has super strength and…

Or I just kind of think about simple things I enjoy. Places I could go hiking with my dog, date nights with my wife, meals I’d like to cook for friends, etc.

Whatever it is, I just kind of let my mind wander down that road, it takes my mind off of whatever was keeping me awake, and after I while my focus begins to falter and I just sort of slip into sleep from there.

I’m pretty sure this kind of falls under the category of some kind of meditation. My work once did a mandatory “wellness retreat” as a “training” thing I had to go to. One of the things we did was a guided meditation session, and that felt like the same sort of thing (but for people who are boring and lack the imagination to think of a scenario to meditate on by themselves, imagining myself flying an x-wing through an asteroid field beats the pants off of imagining I’m walking through a meadow to the beach or whatever that lady was having us imagine)

Sometimes a little background noise is helpful. I’m not personally too picky about what it is, I like trip hop music for this purpose, or forest sounds, or just random YouTube videos (not even necessarily anything relaxing, I’ve fallen asleep to some machinist YouTubers plenty of times and the sound of a mill, lathe, band saw, grinder, etc. isn’t exactly what I’d call soothing.

And when all else fails, I rub one out

I do a movie night once a year and every year we do a different theme. Sometimes it’s a pretty normal and straightforward theme, the first year or two I did it was Robert Rodriguez movies (this party is nominally a Cinco de Mayo part) but we quickly ran out of those, so we pick a random theme every year

One year the theme ended up being "movies that got a better “remake’” (we watched the worse versions)

I believe that theme was 2023, it’s been a wild fucking 2 years so I can’t remember all of the movies we watched, we usually manage to squeeze in about 3

But I remember David Lynch’s dune was on the list, as was the Super Mario Bros movie. None of us had actually seen the new Mario movie, so we just kind of took it on faith that it had to be better.

If I had a point to this story, I’ve long since forgotten what it was, but I’ve typed it out and I’m gonna post it.

I kind of think of the 50s as kind of a major turning point for the US. There were a lot of seeds of greatness then that weren’t properly nurtured in the following decades so that they could grow.

While just about every other country in the world was trying to put themselves back together from WWII, we had emerged not only unscathed, but in almost every measure better than we were before. We had military might, we had a booming economy, manufacturing, science, technology, arts, entertainment, cars, appliances, TV, electricity all on a scale previous generations could only dream about.

Even if you were part of a marginalized group- black, LGBTQ, female, etc. there were some glimmers of hope that looked like things might get better soon- the civil rights movement was picking up steam, there were some early LGBTQ rights movements and demonstrations taking shape, women entered the workforce in a big way during the war, and after the war mostly returned to the home afterwards but those seeds were planted, I don’t think it’s a coincidence that little girls growing up in the 40s watching the women in their lives being the Rosie the Riveter would become the ones who embraced 2nd wave feminism 20 or so years later.

And of course we had high corporate taxes helping to fund it all.

It wasn’t all sunshine and roses of course, and you will certainly find no shortage of people here on Lemmy who will happily spell out all of the many reasons the 1950s sucked, and I don’t disagree with them, but that’s not what you asked, so I’m not going to go into that.

The 50s were a major leap forward in the quality of life for many people in america, and while far from perfect, there is definitely an angle you can look at it from where things looked like they were more-or-less on the right track.

Doubt anyone’s going to see it at this point but figured I’d write out some of my other thoughts now

When I talk about going back to square one and defining what a firearm even is, I mean that quite literally. Muzzleloaders aren’t considered firearms, and no they’re not likely to be used in a mass shooting, but they’ll still kill someone just as dead as a modern firearm. There’s stupid loopholes about antique guns that may function in much the same way as a modern firearm.

They’re fucking guns.

And with an eye to the future, it may be worth building in a little future with other weapons technologies that may come into play that should be regulated similarly. There are high powered air rifles today that are comparable in stopping power to some firearms, shouldn’t they be regulated in a similar manner? Or what if advances in battery technology and such make coil/rail guns viable as man-portable or even concealable weapons?

We also classify things in really stupid ways. Take a look at some of the weird shit around short barrel shotguns/rifles and “any other weapons” where you can have 2 basically identical weapons that are classified differently just due to a quirk of how they were manufactured. An AR-15 with a short barrel is a no-no unless you’re willing to jump through some extra hoops, but you can build an AR-15 “pistol” and slap a -not-a-stock “wrist brace” on it.

And machine guns are a no-no, but bump stocks, binary triggers, forced-reset triggers, etc. that get you basically the same effect are a-ok. Not to mention that absurdity we had for a few years where shoelaces of a certain length were technically classified as a machine gun.

I basically want to create 4 categories

Hunting arms- single shot or manually operated rifles and shotguns with barrel length 16" and greater, rimfire rifles, muzzleloaders, and certain larger handguns. Low rate of fire, not easily concealable.

Concealed carry weapons- handguns.

Other firearms- short barrels rifles/shotguns, semi-auto shotguns and centerfire rifles

Machine guns, destructive devices, etc. we’re moving bump stocks, binary triggers, forced reset triggers, etc. into this category.

For the first 3 categories, the main difference is going to be in the types of training required, as well as the required insurance rates. I think it’s also fair to be allowed to purchase hunting arms at 18, and bump the other categories up to 21. *

For the 4th category, we’re keeping things largely the same as the current NFA regulations, but we’re fixing some of the wonky definitions, and increasing the cost of the tax stamp, because the $200 it was set at in the '30s really hasn’t kept up with inflation.

We’re also going to make most gun accessories subject to the same sorts of background checks and such. And we’re moving silencers into this category.

We’re unifying gun laws across the country. No more wonky patchwork of different states having their own laws. If it’s legal, it’s legal across the whole country, if it’s illegal, it’s illegal everywhere.

I hate the term, but we’re closing the “gun show loophole” (which really has nothing to do with gun shows) all transfers must go through the process. We’re also expanding the locations you can do them at, not just FFL dealers anymore, police stations, and some details would need to be figured out for security reasons, but maybe some places like DMVs, post offices, courthouses, etc. and we’re getting rid of any fees. No excuses to not do things properly.

We’re beefing up the background checks, getting all states on the same page with what does and does not disqualify someone from owning a gun, red flag laws, probably disqualifying people with DUIs (if I don’t trust you with a car I certainly don’t trust you with a gun)

And we’re delisting marijuana so that if you like to smoke up once in a while you’re able to keep your guns.

*Along with the changes in ages, we’re also making some changes to police and military. If you can’t legally purchase and carry a handgun or rifle as a civilian, you don’t get to carry them in your line of work either. You’re exempt from the draft until 21, you can enlist at 18 but only serve in non-combat roles until 21, and if you do enlist before age 21, you will receive education and training equivalent to that many years of college or vocational training. Police academy will become a 4 year program equivalent to a bachelors degree. Also off-duty officers do not get any special exemptions in their eligibility to carry firearms, and their duty weapon stays locked up at the station when off the clock. There’s a whole lot more I have to say about police reform too, but that’s an entirely different rant.

Firearms must be stored in a properly-rated safe that is either firmly attached to the structure of your home - studs, floor joist, concrete, brick, or other masonry walls, etc. or that is heavy enough that it can’t be easily moved by 2 guys with a hand truck. No leaving them in your car, unsecured in your garage,in the night stand, etc. when you’re not able to directly oversee them. We’re not going to be doing in-home inspections on this, but if it’s somehow found that you’re storing them improperly, like if someone is able to steal them because they weren’t properly secured, then you lose your right to own guns.

If you lose your firearm (I work in 911 dispatch, the amount of calls I’ve had for guns found in bathrooms, movie theaters, etc. that someone left behind is pretty worrying) or have a negligent discharge (that isn’t the result of a manufacturing defect,) you lose your right to own guns.

We’re making some major changes to stand your ground laws and castle doctrine, I don’t have a problem with castle doctrine as a general concept, but a lot of states’ implementations leave a lot to be desired. When your outside of your home, I think the focus should be more on duty-to-retreat (again, I work in 911 dispatch, I don’t think a night goes by that I don’t have a dozen calls that could have been solved without police intervention if my caller just fucking walked away but instead escalated into some sort of fight)

No, we are not arming teachers. Full stop.

I’m probably missing some things here, and there’s a lot of details I’m glossing over a bit because this comment is already too long, but hopefully this kind of paints a general picture of where my head is at.

It’s not, and that would be addressed in the stuff I didn’t feel like writing last night (and still don’t)

And I don’t feel like writing it because there’s a lot to it, to just barely scratch the surface, my ideal gun control reform would be part of major overhauls to basically all aspects of government and we’d have things like universal healthcare (which would cover the psych eval,) government funded childcare (so that you can do something with your kids while you jump through the hoops,) free and expanded public transportation (so that you can get to the courthouse or wherever you need to,) expanded workers rights (so that you would have PTO to use to go do all of that,) expanded hours for government offices (so that people hopefully don’t even need to use that PTO, I know it my county to get a concealed carry permit you have to be able to get to those courthouse during certain hours on certain days, the courthouse isn’t conveniently located and the hours suck, most people probably have to take a day off of work and get up early to do it, that’s bullshit) and we’d be getting rid of most fees for government services or at least making them scale to income.

And of course, were funding this by massive taxes on the wealthy.

Basically we’re putting a hell of a lot of hoops in the way, but we’re paving the way to those hoops so that anyone who wants to has a fair shot at being allowed to attempt to jump through them.

US

Our gun laws are a patchwork of really dumb state and federal laws and regulations that often don’t make much sense and there is little consistency. I think we pretty much need to go back to square one with basic shit like defining what constitutes a “firearm” and go from there.

I have a lot of thoughts on this and I’m not going to write them all out here right now, because it would get really lengthy and I just don’t feel like it right now (if there’s interest in hearing what this random internet stranger has to say I may write it up later)

But in general I think that people should be able to own guns, but I also think that there should be a lot of hoops to jump through to get them, background checks, proficiency tests, education , training, insurance, psychological evaluations, storage requirements, etc.

My thoughts on kangaroo are, kind of unsurprisingly, that it tastes exactly like it evolved on a different continent than any other meat you’ve ever eaten.

It’s still definitely in the red meat family, but it’s different and it’s hard to explain how. I’d say it’s maybe more like venison or maybe lamb than beef, but it’s definitely its own thing.

There’s a lot of cases where depending on how you prepared and seasoned it, I don’t know if I could necessarily tell you with 100% confidence if I was eating venison or beef, and maybe even a couple things you could probably pull that with lamb or goat vs beef. I’m pretty sure I could reliably pick out a kangaroo dish from a lineup 100% of the time.

It was good though, I would absolutely eat kangaroo again if it was more readily available around me. It’s kind of a stronger flavor that some people might have an issue with.

Tasted like fishy dirt meat

I’m not a fish-eater in general, but I am an avid fisherman (I just catch them, the wife eats them,) so I’ve heard a lot of stories from my fellow anglers (which should, of course, be taken with a grain of salt, there’s a reason they’re called “fish stories”)

There is a persistent rumor I’ve heard that some people will take catfish and other bottom-feeders like carp home alive to let them swim around in a bathtub of clean water for a day or two to sort of flush all of the mud and everything out of their system before cleaning and cooking them

Allegedly it’s more of a southern thing.

I have yet to find seafood that I like.

Irony of ironies is that I love fishing. Luckily anything I catch worth keeping my wife is more than happy to eat.

People always tell me that good fish shouldn’t taste/smell fishy. I retort that I suppose good beef shouldn’t be beefy either.

I’m willing to hear people out, try different fish prepared in different ways, still haven’t found one that I liked, at best they’re mostly tolerable.

I’ve figured out that I generally tend to enjoy freshwater fish over saltwater. If I catch a couple nice trout I’ll eat that for dinner with my wife instead of having to make a separate dish for myself, I won’t hate it, but I won’t like it either and I’d probably rather have a hot dog.

And I like raw fish better than cooked.

I might actually kind of like raw oysters, but they are in no way worth the cost.

Lox isn’t bad, but I’d prefer just about anything else over it.

There are a couple fish-based products out there that are so far removed from fish that they’re hardly worth mentioning for the purposes of this comment that I do enjoy, like Worcestershire sauce and Asian fish sauces, katsuobushi, Caesar dressing, Crab Rangoon (let’s be real, you could probably leave the crab or “krab” out of most takeout rangoons and it wouldn’t change much) some Japanese fish cakes, etc.

The absolute worst is shrimp though. Nothing about shrimp is appealing to me, the taste, smell and especially the texture are all pretty repulsive.

I’m not otherwise a guy with a lot of food hangups and consider myself a pretty adventurous eater. Weird tastes, textures, bizarre fermented stuff, strange meats, etc. are all generally OK in my book, there’s not many other foods out there that I don’t enjoy. In my house right now I have some double salt salmiak licorice, a bottle of Malört, a wide selection of hot sauces going up to around 1 million scoville, I’m pretty sure I have both Vegemite and marmite somewhere in my fridge, some very peaty scotches, and plenty of other very divisive foodstuffs that I enjoy.

I have tentative plans to visit Iceland next year, so I’ll probably end up torturing myself with some hákarl at some point. And I don’t intend to seek it out, but if it happens to be offered to me for free somewhere I may consider trying whale, which I suppose is technically seafood.

It’s not something I’ve personally played around with so I can’t really comment on the technical details, but AFAIK the main way of transmitting video over ham radio is basically the same as over the air TV. If you wanted to do a deeper dive into that, look up Amateur Television (ATV)

There’s also various methods of sending digital data over ham- D-STAR, APRS, etc. I don’t know that any of them are particularly well-suited to sending video, but they’re things that exist and I’m sure some dedicated ham has figured out a way to do it somewhere.

I dabble in ham radio stuff, you can (and many people do) send data, video, etc. using ham radio equipment. It’s a bit more specialized than just sending voice or Morse code, but it’s absolutely doable.

Not amateur radio, but back in about the 80s there were even a couple countries that experimented with distributing computer programs over regular FM radio. They’d play some electronic buzzing noises that you’d record to a tape then to run it as a program. I know the BBC did it, and I believe Finland also had a radio station doing it for a bit.

In a world where the internet as we know it never came together, I could definitely imagine those sorts of technologies evolving into something that still looks a hell of a lot like the internet.

I think there’s a fine line to be walked

Personally the only lights on my PC itself are the Ethernet ports on the back, and one little blue power indicator on the front

And since I built it in an HTPC case and stuffed it into my entertainment center, you kind of need to be looking at it from just the right angle to even see those. The case itself is a pretty unassuming black rectangle that looks pretty much like any other piece of AV equipment you might expect to see under a TV. About the size of a normal AV receiver, with a disc drive, a power and reset button, 2 USB ports, and a headphone and microphone jack.

My keyboard is a Keychron Q6 max with side-printed shine-through key caps, and my mouse is a Gameball Thumb (I like trackballs, and it’s nice since I’m gaming on the couch so not much convenient flat space to move a mouse around) which has single ring of LEDs around the trackball and a small indicator LED to show the DPI settings on the mouse. Both of those turn off when they’re idle, and when they’re in use I have them set to a pretty simple spinning color mode.

My setup is in a finished basement and the lights are usually down so it’s nice having them light up for the ease of seeing what I’m doing, and the simple color animations aren’t too distracting.

Where my lighting excess does come in though is with the Philips hue lights I have synced up to my TV the overhead lights, a light strip behind my tv, and a light tube underneath it. Between that and the surround sound I think it’s really immersive for movies and gaming. I think I’ve hit a good balance of it having some wow factor without being too distracting but opinions will of course vary on that.

I’m also pretty sure that somewhere in OoT someone says that bomb flowers are the raw material for bombs

I don’t know if I can pick just one favorite hot dog, so instead I’m just gonna wax philosphical about hot dogs at whoever cares enough to read this.

Most importantly is to start with a quality hotdog, something with a natural casing, that snap is critical I like all-beef personally but I’m not outright opposed to some frankenweenies either.

I’m told that in Iceland hot dogs generally contain at least some lamb, that sounds delicious to me, I like lamb. I’ve actually made and smoked my own hot dogs before so that may be something I experiment with in the future. I actually have a trip planned to Iceland next year so that may be something I try to recreate after I come back (I swear I’m not actually going for the hot dogs, just a happy accident, but I figured I might as well do some recon while I’m there)

A good bun is also important, something well-sized to the dogs, soft but structurally sound that’s not going to fall apart and get gross and soggy. When I made my own dogs I decided to go all-in and make my own buns as well. Pretty sure I used whatever recipe was the first Google result was for “sourdough hot dog buns” (because of course the crazy foodie who’s making his own hot dogs is also maintaining a sourdough starter) and I was very happy with how they came out. Barring that, get any decent brand of bun, there’s not that much variation. I like potato buns, but a regular ol’ white bun is fine. I also decided at some point that I like top-split as opposed to side-split buns, but that’s more of a nice thing to have than something I’m going to agonize over if I can’t find them.

Grill your dogs, or roll them around on a hot pan or griddle, don’t boil them. If you’re really fancy (even I’m not this nuts) get yourself one of those hot dog roller machines you see at gas stations and sports stadiums, I think those are the perfect hot dogs.

Now onto the real meat of the question - toppings

I don’t know that I have any one favorite dog, it all depends on my mood.

I hail from the philly area, so when in doubt when I’m presented with any cheap food item in need of a sauce or condiments, my answer is Cheez Whiz (keep that shit off of my cheesesteak though, that’s for tourists, I’m provolone all the way)

Closely-related, you have the chili cheese dog or plain old chili dog. These are all options where you really need to make sure to have a bun that’s going to hold up to some heavy, wet toppings. I think mustard is not unwelcome on a chili cheese dog, along with chopped onions and maybe some jalapenos. I’m normally a fan of beans in my chilli, but I don’t think they have any place in a chili intended to be a hot dog topping.

I’ve been to Cincinnati and sampled skyline chili from the source. If you expect chili you’re going to be disappointed and confused, but if you go in expecting a spiced meat sauce, you might really enjoy it. I think it makes for a damn good hot dog topping.

Outside of the situations where you’re going to have chili available for your hot dogs though

I’m also fan of sauerkraut. For the love of God though, don’t rinse and squeeze all of the sauer out of your kraut. Let it be sour and funky. Serve it rwith or without heating it up onto your dogs just as it came out of the can, jar, plastic bag, or crock.

For your typical backyard BBQ where you’re grabbing the usual condiments off the shelf to have out on a picnic table for the 4th of July or whatever- ketchup has no place on a hot dog. I’ll always go mustard, and often relish (I prefer dill relish over sweet if available) and chopped onions are a welcome addition. I think you’d do well to serve them with some baked beans on the side.

I’d also be remiss if I didn’t mention the Texas Tommy, allegedly another Philly-area invention, possibly originating in nearby Pottstown (though that’s a big " ^[1]^" IMO)

I was recently at IKEA and on the way out the door before a fun night of assembling flat-pack furniture, I grabbed a hot dog with some red cabbage and crispy fried onions, and I also thought that was a great combination (the hot dog itself was nothing special)

For a quick & easy weeknight dinner, I don’t think it gets much better than a hot dog or two or three prepared in any of the above styles, accompanied with some boxed Mac & Cheese, and some stewed tomatoes.

For a couple local ish places to me that I’ve felt like I’ve always gotten a stand-out hotdog, there’s Yoccos in Allentown, Jimmy John’s near West Chester PA, and of all places, the gift shop behind the chapel in Valley Forge National Historic Park

And of course, honorable mention goes to Costco for being one of the best deals going.

My guess, and I’m just kind of spitballing here, is that it fermented

Lollipops are basically just sugar and sugar is hygroscopic - it readily pulls moisture from the air. Eventually if it’s humid enough it could pull enough moisture from the air and start dissolving, so the goo is basically sugar-water

There’s a lot of natural yeast and bacteria and such all around you in the air and on just about every surface you could imagine, some was in the jar and found the sugar and started doing it’s thing fermenting the sugars

Fermentation takes sugars and turns them into alcohol and carbon dioxide (bit of a simplification)

Carbon dioxide is a gas, so there’s the bubbling, and the whistling noise was probably gas escaping from the jar as the pressure built up too high for the seal on the container to handle. The bubbling may have also picked up a bit when the gas started escaping too because under pressure some of it probably dissolved into the sugar goo, like it does into a can of soda, then when you crack the can open the pressure drops and the gas comes out of solution and bubbles.

And of course hand sanitizer is alcohol, so there’s the smell.

I think my current pixel 7 pro is probably the nicest looking smartphone I’ve owned. Prior to this it was the LG G3.

Back in the day I had some Motorola TracFone that looked a lot like a razr that I also thought looked pretty cool.

When my family switched from TracFone I got a Samsung Rogue which I also really liked, but I also remember wishing that my parents had waited a couple months so that I could have gotten my personal pick for the sexiest smartphone of all time instead- the original Motorola Droid. I eventually ended up getting the droid 2, which was, IMO, a fine successor to the droid, but just not as sexy.

Best is one of two

First was a couple who are more like friends-of-friends. I like them, they’re cool people, but I’ve never really hung out with them except when we’re part of a group of mutual friends, so I was actually a little surprised to get an invite to their wedding.

But anyway, I booked a hotel room with a couple of those mutual friends. Did a little light pre gaming, and hopped on the shuttle bus to the venue. The ceremony was nice and short and it was a nice venue.

Then we head into the area to have dinner, and find our assigned seats, and we’re a little shocked when the bride and groom joined us at the table instead of being off at their own private table somewhere. They said they wanted to sit with their friends, so they did, they were of course off talking to various friends and relatives a lot, but they definitely carved out a nice chunk of the night to eat and sit down and eat and enjoy their wedding. I’ve heard a lot of stories from people getting married where they say they never even had time during their reception to actually eat, that’s always sounded terrible to me and I think they felt the same way. Food was amazing as well, I had just about the biggest slab of prime rib I’ve ever seen and it was cooked to absolute perfection. They even came around offering seconds if anyone wanted them.

A big part of how I knew them was because we were all part of a large group that regularly went to a music festival together, and as you do at a festival, we all tended to get belligerently drunk. Apparently part of the reason I got an invite was because of that, in their words they paid for an open bar and wanted to make sure they got their money’s worth, and they knew the whole music festival crew would be up to the task.

We were all on our best behavior, but we were all definitely pretty hammered when we boarded the bus back to the hotel to continue our party at the hotel bar.

We slept in way too late to grab breakfast at the hotel, so most of us made our way to a nearby diner to grab breakfast.

All in all just a really fun day with good friends, good food, plenty of booze, and a nice casual wedding.

The second contender for best wedding is actually one I officiated. Years ago I got ordained online from the universal life church, and never really did anything with that. I’m not religious, it’s just a fun little thing to be able to say that I’m a minister.

My buddy apparently remembered that. We were in scouts together, he was a couple years younger than me and sort of looked up to me as a mentor and we’ve stayed good friends. So time comes for him to get married and he immediately says he wants me to do the ceremony, and I of course agreed.

This dude has a way of finding really cool stuff, and somewhere in his adventures he finds a cave. It’s open for tourism by appointment and the entrance is through the owners’ basement. He gets to talking to the owner, and apparently it had always been her grandmother’s (who originally owned the house/cave) to have a wedding there, but no one had ever approached them about that. Since he was looking for a wedding venue he jumped at the opportunity. They also charged a ridiculously low price for it (I think they initially said like $50, he gave them like $500 and even that is fucking peanuts to pay for a wedding venue)

The wedding ceremony itself was pretty small, there’s only so many people you can cram into a cave at once, but more people were invited for the reception. I came up with what everyone seems to think was a really good script for the ceremony, even if it was a little hard to read in the dim light of a cave.

The reception was at a brewery, and the food was mostly a buffet of fancy pizzas, all really good, excellent party food. Again, everything was really chill and low-key.

The worst was my brother in laws wedding. He’s a good dude, but if I hadn’t married his sister I don’t think we’d have anything in common with each other.

His (now) wife’s family is fairly well-off and have a really nice vacation house on a lake in upstate New York where they go a lot. So they had the wedding up there.

Even before the wedding, it rubbed me kind of the wrong way that neither my wife nor I were ever asked to be in the wedding party. Not that I had any particular burning desire to be in it, but that just kind of seems like a normal courtesy thing. Until that point I know that I had figured he’d be one of my groomsmen when my wife and I actually have a wedding (COVID threw a monkey wrench into our plans and we ended up doing the courthouse thing, so I think we’re planning to do a big 10 year anniversary in a couple years)

The place is about a 6 hour drive from where most of their friends and family live, and for the rest of them it’s even longer. It’s not convenient to any sort of a major city where you could easily take a flight or a train or something to save yourself some of the driving, and let’s be honest, no one really wants to take time off for a wedding so most people were driving up 6 hours on a Friday, doing wedding shit Saturday, then driving 6 hours home on Sunday. They didn’t seem to understand why some of their further-flung relatives RSVP’d that they weren’t coming.

The hotel they reserved a block of rooms at is what some people might call “charming” or “rustic,” but personally I’m more inclined to call it “a crappy old house where everything creeks, none of the doors seem to close quite right, and the bathroom fixtures haven’t been updated in about 50 years.”

It was also August, and it was an outdoor wedding. Fuck that shit, it’s too damn hot to be outside for a wedding.

And I’m pretty sure the reason we weren’t in the wedding party was because they needed someone to babysit his/my wife’s grandmother. She’s got a pretty bad case of dementia, and was just really lost and confused the whole time she was there. She lives with his/my wife’s mom, but if course she was going to be busy with wedding stuff all day.

My wife drove us up, so I didn’t have my own car there. The entirety of the town we were in was about 3 block long, and mostly touristy shops selling stupid knickknacks I had no interest in. We were in a nice wooded area, and I’m an outdoorsy dude, and I pretty much spent all day looking at the mountains surrounding us thinking how much I’d rather be hiking than wandering around this crappy town.

I also normally work night shift and had turned my schedule upside down for this. I think my wife assumed I was going to sleep in, so when I woke up at a pretty reasonable hour (9-ish) figuring we’d at least be able to grab breakfast together before we got stuck babysitting her grandmother, she was nowhere to be found. She’d gone off to get breakfast with her dad (who was really pretty much the only other person there I knew, and he’s a really cool dude, I was looking forward to spending some time with him, we don’t get to see him very often)

So that left me by myself with no way to really go anywhere, and no one around I wanted to hang out with. A pretty crappy start to my day which put me in kind of a bad mood.

No really good food options in that town either- a crappy pizza place, a bar that’s just like every other mediocre bar in a touristy town, and a little breakfast and sandwich shop that was trying really hard to be cool but had nothing particularly exciting on the menu. Your best option was to drive about 15 minutes to the next town and eat somewhere there.

And of course we still got roped into all of the wedding picture bullshit.

The wedding and reception were nice enough, aside from it being too damn hot, food was ok but forgettable (my brother in law and his wife have just about the most bland palates imaginable, no surprises there) if it had been somewhere closer where I could have just attended the wedding and went home that night I probably would have left with an overall fine impression of the wedding except for feeling a little snubbed about the wedding party.

But it was absolutely not worth 12 hours in the car, the cost of a hotel room, and spending most of the day either by myself or babysitting a senile old lady who had no idea what was going on.

But at least now I don’t have to feel obligated to have him in my wedding party and I can free up that spot for someone I actually like.

It was both best and worst since I’ve only lived in one apartment in my life

It was actually a pretty nice apartment, I might still happily be there if they hadn’t kept jacking up the rent every year.

But I had some complaints

The kitchen was ridiculously tiny, and one of the cabinets couldn’t open all the way because it hit an overhead light fixture. We actually pointed that out when we first viewed the apartment (it had recently had some light renovations and that was obviously an oversight) and to their credit they installed a smaller fixture before we moved it. It still got in the way and the cabinet didn’t open 100% but it opened wide enough to get anything you needed in and out.

The bathroom vent fans definitely shared ductwork with other units, and someone along that vent liked to sing in the shower. We also occasionally heard her yelling at her kids. We didn’t mind that so much, it’s kind of part of living in an apartment that sometimes you’re going to hear what your neighbors are doing, it was usually more funny than anything, but it was a little weird the first time we heard someone singing from our bathroom.

The people above us liked to vacuum at like 10am on a Sunday. Not too unreasonable I suppose, but I worked night shift and it could be a little annoying from time to time when I was trying to sleep

They also had some kind of water leak one time that fucked up our ceilings a bit, and it also leaked right into our circuit breaker causing some electrical issues. No serious damage done though, and again they were quick to repair it.

When we moved out, our roommate discovered that the window in his room was leaky, which had caused some mold and water damage in his room. He never noticed it until then because of how he had some furniture placed along that wall.

There really wasn’t any decent spot to have any sort of a proper dining table, at least not if you also wanted to have a couch and a TV, so we pretty much ate off the coffee table or folding tray tables the whole time we lived there. (The apartment was actually fairly spacious overall, it was just sort of laid out weirdly)

Most of the time their argument is that they want me to have something physical to open/unwrap, so bank transfers aren’t going to be any more attractive to them.

Read, watch TV/movies/YouTube, play video games, take the dog for a walk, work on one of my many hobbies that I’ve been neglecting, see if any of my friends wants to do something, take a nap, listen to music,

And if I get really bored, there’s probably something I’m supposed to be cleaning or some other chore that needs attention