• 0 Posts
  • 37 Comments
Joined 1 year ago
Cake day: June 19th, 2023
  • Australis13@fedia.iotoAutism@lemmy.world•How do I stop from over sharing/being too deep to new coworkers.
    3·
    2 months ago

    The best case is when I am (1) well-rested, (2) not hungry or thirsty and (3) not already agitated/close to being overwhelmed going into it. Socialising definitely drains me, though, and I have gotten better at recognising when I need a break before it becomes critical. That way I can politely excuse myself (if it’s a social function, usually I have a plan in advance to go outside or away from people for a bit to recover).

    Unfortunately it’s just reality that some people are energised by that type of conversation or social interaction, whilst for others it is exhausting. Energy management is the key thing for those of us who find it draining. Interoception is sometimes impeded for individuals on the spectrum, so if it’s hard to identify or keep track of how are you going (and hence whether it is time to politely exit the conversation), there are exercises one can find online to help improve interoception.

  • Australis13@fedia.iotoAutism@lemmy.world•How do I stop from over sharing/being too deep to new coworkers.
    16·
    2 months ago

    It takes practice, but a good approach is not to go beyond a few sentences on a topic at a time. Give them a chance to change the direction of the conversation (which will happen if they are not interested) or ask follow-up questions (typically indicates that they are interested, although sometimes it may just be that they are being polite, in which case you’ll usually only get one or two before the other person moves on to something else). As one of the other comments says, it’s a dialogue, not a monologue - most of the time the other person isn’t engaging to get information from you but to connect with you (and yeah, that can be a really nebulous concept at times!). It’s really easy to infodump but most people don’t have the context or depth of knowledge to follow a deep dive on a subject.

  • Australis13@fedia.iotocats@lemmy.world•Someone dumped her, soaking wet, in the lobby of a restaurant today
    20·
    2 months ago

    Keep them apart for a week or so if you can to let any incubating infections show up. I recently had an upsetting experience with a family of stray kittens and their mother that my wife and I rescued, only to find out that they had feline parvovirus and had to be euthanised (whilst the kittens seemed fine when we caught them, the prognosis for kittens with parvo is horrendous; even the mother only had a 50/50 chance of survival). We kept them separate from our cats (and they are vaccinated anyway), but we still had to bleach the bathroom almost to oblivion to kill any trace of parvo. It was just a horrible situation.

  • Australis13@fedia.iotoAutism@lemmy.world•First date of my life I am shook I cannot believe this is real
    19·
    2 months ago

    Autism is not a deal-breaker. My spouse has ADHD and I have ASD. Granted, each of our neurotypes causes the other some frustration, but both are also factors in why we were attracted to each other in the first place.

    Neurodivergent individuals often select for each other in partners and there are a lot of similar patterns in my extended family (to use your phrasing, they’re all a bit “off”!). None of the relationship failures have been as a result of neurotype and most are still married, with the failures due to the same problems that NT couples deal with - poor communication, emotional immaturity, refusal to learn and grow, etc.

    The key thing is to be yourself. If she likes you, you want her to like you for you, not the facade that so many of us have to wear to survive in the NT world.

    And if she ghosts you, that’s not a failure on your part. It says more about her than you - you took the risk and put yourself out there. If she doesn’t show, perhaps she is insecure and afraid of telling you she’s changed her mind, or perhaps something happened to prevent her from being there (since you mention films, this is a common trope too). Just be kind to yourself.

  • Australis13@fedia.iotocats@lemmy.world•There's a package for you!
    28·
    2 months ago

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  • Australis13@fedia.iotoAutism@lemmy.world•How to deal with post-work exhaustion?
    3·
    4 months ago

    This. Especially looking at the quality of your sleep (poor sleep can trigger or exacerbate depression). There is a high prevalence of sleep-related issues in the autistic community. If you haven’t had a sleep study done, I recommend doing it (it’s uncomfortable and not a good night’s sleep, but it will help identify issues such as sleep apnoea or restless leg syndrome).

    Also go through all the typical sleep hygiene stuff (I know it can be annoying and tedious, but these factors can play a bigger role in autism than for neurotypicals due to sensory issues) such as temperature, noise and light. Are your pillow and mattress comfortable and providing the support you need, or are you tossing and turning, or waking up sore or uncomfortable?