So I texted my mom last night that I think it’s likely that I have autism. Then she texted back that she has always suspected that I have autism since I was little kid and that she loves me. I felt very validated and happy that it went better than expected although somewhat upset that she never did anything to help me.

However this morning I woke up to a text from her insisting that I don’t actually have autism and I’m just lazy and over sensitive and that I need to get over myself and I have spent a lot of time crying in bed today.

[TW: Transphobia]

She’s done this before which is why I was so nervous to tell her. When I came out to her as a trans woman she initially said nice things to me, but then the next day she started ranting about “why couldn’t you just be a gay man” or “no one will ever love you if you’re trans.” It took her several years to come around and actually accept me.

All I really wanted from her was understanding, but she just gave me a lot of self-doubt and sadness instead.

Edit: Thank you all for your support, I really appreciate it ❤️🫂

  • haui@lemmy.giftedmc.com
    7·
    3 days ago

    Your mom shows strong symptoms of internalized abuse. This can indicate a range of possible mental issues. You being on the spectrum can indicate that she is too, which she might need to avoid to foster her “normal” self image. In any case, what she is doing is unbefitting of a parent and if you have any grown up you trust, tell them and consider having them talk sense into her. There are alternatives but they might have severe consequences depending on the country you live in. Its not fair but keeping you safe is important right now since some countries are delving into fascism. Autistic and trans people are in grave danger in these countries. Please accept that you are valid, albeit it being important to keep things under wraps in some cases.